- Image by 10 Ninjas Steve via Flickr
Written by Karen D. Swim
This is Part I in a two part story.
Several years ago, I had the life I wanted. I had a wonderful husband, a home I loved and a career that challenged and stimulated me. I was happy. Little did I know it was all about to change.
The job that I loved reorganized and to keep my position I would have to move from California to New Jersey. I never considered it (nothing against New Jersey) and opted to take a package. The VP of our department flew out to talk me out of it but I was steadfast in my commitment to embrace the unknown. If someone had told me the details of that unknown, I would have promptly hidden under the bed. I was going to take time off and just breathe for a few months. I had no idea how important my decision would be.
My last day of work, I turned in my company car, picked up my first personal car in 7 years and happily waved good-bye. That night, my husband, who had been healthy showed the first sign of an illness which would go undiagnosed for a year.
In between doctor appointments to diagnose my husband’s various symptoms, still mild enough that he could work, I joyfully embraced being a housewife. I had never been away from work for more than a week or two. I had decided to take 6 months off before rejoining the work force. In the first two months, 9/11 happened, one of my best friends was declining from Leukemia and my husband began having debilitating headaches that prevented us both from sleeping.
By the time I reached the end of my planned time off my youngest brother in-law had been diagnosed with Leukemia, my best friend passed away, another best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and my husband was diagnosed with Lung Cancer that had spread to the brain. Work was the last thing on my mind!
I was off work for 2 ½ years and we lived off our savings. The medical bills mounted as my husband’s cancer spread to the spine paralyzing him from the waist down. Yet, our house was not one of doom and gloom but hope and joy. My brother in law passed away and a few months later my husband joined him.
In the last month of my husband’s life I had interviewed for and won a job as an Oncology Product Manager. I did not want to leave my husband’s side but we needed money. I never had to make that decision and was with him until his death.
So at 39, I found myself widowed, childless and broke. Not exactly, the way I had planned to enter midlife.
In the midst of my grief, I knew that I had no choice but to move forward. Running marathons had taught me to just put one foot in front of the other and with God’s help I did precisely that.
I had not invited reinvention but there it was right in front of me. I did not feel up to the task. I had simply soldiered on for three years never realizing that my life was starting to resemble Job’s. And now I was sad, tired and not in the mood for change. But change I did.
I rescinded the acceptance of the job offer and instead relocated to Michigan to connect with my biological family. I called a recruiter, interviewed for one job and luckily for me I got it. I did not have the energy to go on multiple interviews. After a year, I was stable enough to launch Reinvention Part II.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you! Tomorrow, I’ll give you part II along with some of the life lessons I learned. I hope that through my experience I can offer you the wisdom I gained and the courage to face your own new chapter. Thanks for reading and if you think it will help someone else, please pass it along.
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Karen,
You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your reinvention story.
.-= Lillie Ammann´s last blog ..New Voices: Contest for Young Writers Underway =-.
Karen, You’ve faced more adversity and suffering than any person deserves, and with courage and strength. You are an inspiration and God bless you for sharing your experience in a way that can only help others.
.-= Brad Shorr´s last blog ..Perspective =-.
Karen,
thanks so much for sharing your experience! Reinvention – yes, something like this happened to me, too, when my husband died in 2007 and I was left alone after 30 years living with him.
I admire you for your courage, for your spirit and for your kindness and warmth (and the video is just great!)!
.-= Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..5 Steps for Writing and Publishing a Squidoo Lens =-.
Lillie, thank you so much for those words, holding them close to my heart.
Brad, thank you so much and I really do hope that others will gain hope. While I have had my share of challenges, I have had much more undeserved blessings.
Very thankful for mercy and grace!
Ulla, I remember you sharing your story and you too are such an inspiration. I think the challenges not only make us stronger but more appreciative of all the good things that come our way. Now that I’ve tackled video, it’s time to face Squidoo.
Wow. Seems you’ve been dealt with quite a bit of Lifes “challenges” (or crap, to be blunt).
But despite what you’ve been through, you’re one of the most cheerful and positive people I know.
But I believe what goes around, comes around. Things tend to even out.
So after all those difficult years, I think you’re long overdue for some fantastic things, yet to come. .
.-= Friar´s last blog ..Friar’s Travel Guide to Northern Ontario =-.
Karen,
You truly embody courage and show that the human soul is capable of true compassion in the face of such pain.
Your words resonate with genuine passion for embracing life, good and bad, and releasing your smile even when it feels like the last thing to do.
Thank you for your inspiration.
Conor
Karen,
Thanks for sharing this story. I’ve only known bits and snatches and I appreciate your transparency is sharing these very rocky events in your life. I’m inspired by your courage and devotion!
.-= Steve Woodruff ´s last blog ..Ask the Ten Questions =-.
Aww Friar, I know you’ll want to punch me for this but sending you hugs for your kind words you dear sweet man!
Conor, you have made me speechless and I’m blushing!
Thank you so much, I am humbled by your words.
Hi Steve, ahhh thank you so much! It’s not easy to share the “unpretty” but I have been blessed and I owe to God to share the “test” that resulted in my testimony.
Karen, you are an inspiration, over and over. Thank you for sharing your story x
.-= Joanna Young´s last blog ..9 Possible Ways That Writing Changes Things =-.
Fluency. And grace. I used to think they came in a steady stream, unbroken and pure. I have come to realize that they come in spite of , and around, and under and over all of the obstacles we face as we go willingly and not ( I am smiling) one foot in front of the other…
There’s a brass band song….” Feets don’t fail me now”… It’s a street song, a moving, dancing second line song….good for reinventing I would say…and moving forward.
Hugs Karen.
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..A River Of Paint =-.
Joanna, my dear friend, the same can be said of you. xo
Janice, as always your words lift my eyes to the radiant beauty that is friendship and life. Thank you gifted one.
The song, Herbie Hancock, yes? However, that line reminded me and I am totally going to date myself of PFunk and the One Nation Under a Groove Song in which they sing that line! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTVH41QucDU
Da Funk is good ;D but here is the street song so familiar to me… the Dirty Dozen Brass band is the one I always hear in my mind :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjDJFTTvukc
Pardon the documentary “art in the dark” narration on this, just listen to the music .
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..A River Of Paint =-.
Karen,
I am beginning to believe that some of the people I admire and respect the most have gotten to be who they are because of the mountains they have climbed and conquered.
You my amazing friend are in that catagory. We all begin as clay, life shapes us through trials. We have no choice when trouble comes knocking, but our choices on how we choose to overcome those obstacles say a lot about who we are and who we become. Your faith and inspiration are remarkable.
You have had the trials of Job, may you have his end result blessings as well.
.-= Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog ..Amazing Dirty Dishes =-.
It’s a great day when we get dirty brass, PFunk and art! LOL! I love it!
Wendi, and you my friend are the light that guides us all. I know too of some of your challenges and know beyond the shadow of a doubt that what could have dimmed only brightened that light you so gracefully shine.
Oh honey if you only knew how many times I prayed for Job Part II! LOL! Like an impatient child at times, God are we there yet, are we, are we? LOL!
Karen,
I knew parts of your story, but not everything. It takes a very strong person to put it in writing. You truly are an inspiration – and a successful one! Kudos to you for the strength to overcome what sure seems like the impossible!
.-= Heather Villa, CMA, MBA, MSM´s last blog ..10 Tips to Boost Productivity =-.
Hi Heather! I am thankful to be strong enough to write it! Thank you Heather.