Who Moved My Life?

April 27, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

“We have to be willing to get rid of the life we had planned so as to live the life that is waiting.”

I planned to be a wife and mom (after my original idea of Queen of the World fell through). I was going to be bake cookies, volunteer with the PTA and hang out at the park with the other moms. At age 39 I was widowed and childless – this was definitely not according to the plan!

Life very often does not go according to our plan. There have been many times when things have worked out better than I ever could have planned. Better than plan is a reason to rejoice, dancing on the table tops kind of rejoicing. We never question “better than planned” because we are too happy celebrating our good fortune.

Ah, but when we get “not even close to plan” results, we question the unfairness of it all. We are disappointed, frustrated and perhaps angry.

Disappointment can be fleeting or it can suck your soul dry leaving you bitter and empty. You can waste years mourning what you believe you should have had or you can embrace what you do have. It is a choice we get to make often because life frequently does not go according to plan.

How do you handle disappointment? Has a setback ever turned out to be a positive experience in your life? Do you buy me as a PTA mom?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Inspiration | 13 Comments

Not so Dirty Little Secret

April 20, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

Last week I hinted about my “affair” and it’s time to come clean. I would never advocate the human variety of cheating but cheating on your business can be a great thing! For more than five years my primary business has been writing and marketing. Within those broad parameters, I have performed a wide range of functions for clients.

My affair began with a casual conversation with Trish Lambert about clients new to the web led us to co-create a brand new shared venture. Our shared passion for helping people, and collective experiences of frustrations experienced by our clients led to “what if” discussions. What if we helped ease the way for brand new people to have a web presence? What if people on a do-it-yourself budget but lacking a do-it-yourself bandwidth had someone like us who would do it for them? What if we not only wrote their content but took them from zero to launch?

The conversations grew from excited snippets to a real plan. I soon found myself no longer talking but installing new WordPress sites, and spending hours coding and customizing. It was a flirtation, a chance to let my secret inner geek flag fly. I visited forums and learned new javascript code. I installed Firebug and began to explore the codes of sites I loved. I listened; I learned and fell in love.

I was cheating on my business, spending time on something that was not my natural area of expertise and loving it!

My flirtation will not become a full time job but it has allowed me a new perspective. Coding is precise and requires an attention to detail. Challenging my brain in this new way was not only keeping my brain healthy and young but refreshed my writing.

Stepping out on my business filled me with an excitement that had been missing in recent months. Cheating gave me the space to clearly see what I loved doing in my “real”job and what was draining me of energy and passion.

In recent weeks, I have talked with many others who are feeling a bit of wanderlust. Their stories led me to share my own journey in hopes that it would help others in need of a change without completely ditching their business. If you still love what you do but something seems off or missing, cheating can help you rediscover your passion.

Allowing yourself to flirt renews a sense of play in your work. I celebrated when I learned something new and took risks uncommon in my regular job. I was not an expert at coding and that freed me to have fun with it. Cheating on your business also exposes you to a different perspective from people that are outside of your primary industry.

Whether you have your own business or work for a company, allowing yourself a side flirtation can add value to your professional life. A flirtation can give you the space needed to assess your primary role without making major changes. You may find that you don’t have to ditch your business or job but simply spice it up with a little variety.

Have you ever strayed from your primary business role? What impact did it have on your professional and/or personal life? If you have never cheated, how do you keep yourself engaged and excited about what you do?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Business and Career | 24 Comments

Dubious Deception and other Corporate Tales

April 17, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

Today’s post is a bit of departure from the usual fare. It is a story and yes it’s true but all is not as it appears. Put away your scarlet letters and put on your cloaks of creativity. Play along and I’ll provide the answer at the end…or at the very least a clue.

It began with a glance across the room, a small spark of interest ignited, as though we had a mutual secret. Soon I invented reasons to be in the same place my heart churning with each hushed conversation. It was all innocent really; I was not cheating, it was just talk. My new “friend” was interesting and seemed to awaken long forgotten desires. In “his” presence, I felt like a giddy schoolgirl. I blushed with each new discovery and even my failures to understand delighted me. Each moment of our time together was seared in my memory with snippets spilling out at odd moments beckoning me to come back for more.

I began to look forward to our meetings. You made me feel wanted and alive. I was a little afraid of how I felt but then reasoned that it was only harmless flirtation, and no cause for concern.

But of course the infatuation grew and I took the next step. I left that first day with a furtive glance over my shoulder. How could I have allowed this to happen? Consumed by guilt I returned home. Unable to look my love in the eye, I took a deep breath and got to work.

That night I thought of my wandering ways. Yes, I strayed but it was only that one time. It would not happen again, I wasn’t even good at it! How could I possibly think that anything would come of it with so many experts surrounding you.

I felt guilty but strangely satisfied by my tryst. I stretched and smiled secretly wishing for another chance. But then I saw my commitment out of the corner of my eye, peeking from the pages of my calendar and I was consumed with a new wave of guilt. Oh gosh, what had I done? You have stood by me in the darkest of hours, providing for my needs. You kept a roof over my head and fed me those soy dogs I love so much. I don’t want to let go but lately our time together has been so, well routine.

I was feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. But my flirtation gave me a new purpose. I feel important and needed. I even like “his” friends. I love hanging out in their forums and chat rooms and listening to their discourse.

I don’t want to hurt you but I had to come clean. Actually, my flirtation is a good thing. It has renewed my enthusiasm for you. No, no don’t cry I won’t leave you entirely but I have to admit you are going to have to share me and I know that might be hard.

Clue: I am me but “him” is deceptive.
Clue 2: This is a totally G rated post, pure as the driven snow.

It’s Friday, and time for a little fun so play along by sharing your best guess in the comments. Remember it’s G-rated. I promise to tell all in the next post.

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Business and Career, Wild and Wacky | 12 Comments

Eyes Half Mast, Mug Half Full – I am There

April 16, 2009

: Image via Wikipedia

Written by Karen D. Swim

Late night, not enough coffee, hanging tightly to the threads of creativity needed to power through the day. Lingering in that state of adrenalin fueled rush that gets you down the road and then throws you to the pavement like road kill. I am there.

Longing to tell you things and fearing incoherence so leaving you with the wisdom of others instead.

Is it really Thursday? Oh yea, I am there. Big red dot marking the spot, three days now history, standing in the present wondering how I got here. Yes I am there.

Eyelids drooping, fingers heavy with fatigue, moving on to a thought for the day.

“The hero slays the dragon.”

(From “The Hero Within: Six Archetypes We Live By“
Carol S. Pearson, Ph.D.)

Finding the fire, unsheathing the sword, bring it on Thursday, I’m ready!

Are you?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Business and Career, Insights | 4 Comments

Magic in the Mundane

April 15, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

My 4 year old cousin pulled at my pant leg, commanding my attention. I turned toward him to tune in to the conversation that he had apparently been having with me. He then pointed to a big Tonka truck and told me to say “Hi” to Tom. I saw a truck, rather large but otherwise nondescript. But Ryan saw a magical world where two toy trucks became Tom and Jerry (his favorite cartoon characters). Ryan is still young enough to allow his imagination to create magic from the ordinary.

Today, many of us can use a little magic. It is, after all, Tax Day in the U.S. We can look at the forms and numbers and simply see the amount of zeroes needed on the check or we can see goals accomplished, clients serviced, tasks completed and milestones reached. The numbers can make us scowl or provide a goal for the year ahead.

The magic is ours to create, so what will you see? Bottom line numbers or a big awesome vision that sparkles with possibility?

How do you keep the magic in your own life?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Insights, Inspiration | 11 Comments

Hop, Skip, Double and a Dip

April 14, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

I watched the little girls draw the crooked squares in colored chalk on the sidewalk. I smiled remembering my own childhood games of hopscotch. Hop, hop, hop. The first round was always easy because you knew what to expect. Hop, hop, hop, land, hop, land hop. You knew just how long you needed to balance on one leg before landing on two feet again.

Life sometimes feels like a game of hopscotch. Sometimes you maneuver a tiny square on one leg and in other places both feet are firmly planted on the ground. Along the way you pick up your marker as you progress from square to square. Unlike hopscotch, the squares are not neatly drawn in brightly colored chalk. You may find yourself balancing longer than is reasonably comfortable on one leg praying to reach the spot when you can put down both feet and steady yourself. Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, land, hop.

In hopscotch and life the game grows in complexity as you add more people. No longer jumping from square to square, you also have to jump over the obstacles that others have placed in your path. Hop, jump, jump, hop, hop, land, jump, hop.

As I sat musing, the little girls giggled, ponytails bobbing up and down as they each took turns, hopping, landing, and picking up their marker. Hop, land, hop, bend, jump, turn to do it again. I watched as the smaller little girl took her turn, eyes on the pattern, with determination in her eyes – hop, hop, hop, jump, hop, bend, stumble. Rather than become discouraged they collapsed into giggles, declared a winner and started a new game, hop, hop, hop, land, hop, land, hop.

I rose from the chair with a smile determined to go and start my own new game, no colored chalk required.

How’s your game these days? Are you jumping on one foot or two? Do you start a new game when you stumble or just go to the end of the line?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Inspiration for Life | 15 Comments

Ebb and Flow

April 9, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

It has been a quiet week here at Words For Hire. As everyone turned their attention to Easter, Passover and spring break it was an excellent time to slow the pace, and flow with the rhythm.

When I first started my businesss, I never took time off around the holidays. One year on January 1, I realized that everyone else had taken off and I really could have taken advantage of the slow down to rest. Of course I realized it the day before everyone came back renewed, refreshed and ready to kick it into third gear!

I’m now older and a little wiser. I’ve learned to tune in and when the pace is slowing, I enjoy it by slowing down too. Without the barrage of emails and activity this week , the work pace felt downright leisurely. I even managed to make some headway on brand new personal projects.

I hope that you’re enjoying a bit of a breather this week too. But before you take off for the weekend please pop over and wish my dear friend Joanna Young a Happy Blog Birthday! In two short years, Joanna has built a thriving blog community that has taken it’s rightful place as one of the leading writing blogs.

Robert Hruzek’s latest group writing project, What I learned From Adversity is open until Sunday at midnight. Group Writing Projects are an excellent way to stretch your writing muscles, meet other bloggers and have some fun.

Today is my Gran’s 90th birthday. We’re having a family gathering to celebrate on Saturday. Sunday, will be church as usual and on Monday I will be lounging in my PJ’s watching cartoons! I’ll resume the normal schedule on Tuesday. Have a wonderful Easter, Passover and weekend!

Got any fun plans this weekend?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Insights | 8 Comments

Why the Shallow End of the Pool is Better than Dry Land

April 8, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” –Abraham Lincoln

Are you standing on the sidelines assessing, reviewing and analyzing or are you suited up and in the game? I’ve got my issues with Abe but the quote above hit me square in the eyes. There are things I wanted to do but waited. I waited for:

The perfect conditions (they never came)
More information (which I gathered and never applied)
Proof that it would work (the proof turned out to be doing nothing equals nothing)
The perfect me (like that would ever happen!)

My waiting did not make me smarter, or the market more ready for what I had to offer. I would not advise a novice swimmer to jump into the deep end of the pool. But I would tell them to get into the water. Go ahead and start out at the shallow end but for Pete’s sake to learn to swim you gotta get wet!

You could watch other people swim, you can gather information but without actually getting in the water you’re just another schmo on the sidelines getting splashed by the people who had the guts to be in the pool, even at the shallow end.

It’s hump day, and from where I stand, the water is looking good.

Have you ever waited yourself out of an opportunity? What did you learn?

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Posted by Karen Swim | Filed Under Insights | 6 Comments

Planted in Adversity, Harvested in Hope

April 6, 2009

: Image by Waqas Ahmed via Flickr

Written by Karen D. Swim

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The imagery of the desert is often used to symbolize adversity or those seasons in our life when we are challenged from every angle. The dry, scrabbly land and unforgiving climate aptly describe how we feel when we toil for answers and receive no harvest in return.

In the desert, relationships change. Just like the sun, welcoming in fair weather but becoming a fiery enemy in the desert region, searing your defenses with its white hot rays. You are forced to slow your pace, to measure your steps and adapt to the land like the prickly cacti that conserve their own water to survive.

“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” –Arthur Golden

Yet, both adversity and the desert, difficult and unkind on the surface can bring forth a beauty unequaled in “milder” climates. In the desert you tap into your source of inner strength as you still the confusion and tune into the silence that surrounds you. Like the cacti, you draw from your inner well to nourish and sustain you. You no longer drink arrogantly allowing the liquid of life to spill to the ground and evaporate but savour each precious as it revives and restores you.

In the inky night sky of the desert the stars are at their most brilliant. And in the darkness of challenge, it is our faith that lights up the sky shining brighter than ever before.

I have never willingly planned a vacation in the land of adversity but I will admit to learning my greatest lessons while there. I have been scorched by the desert sun and momentarily been fooled by the mirage of false hope. I believed that I would perish in the wilderness and the vultures would feast upon my carcass. It was in the darkness of those moments that water poured from the rocky land nourishing me and giving me hope that I would find my way home.

When I finally made my way to the end of the desert path, I looked back to see the dry and rocky land covered in a field of sprawling wildflowers,strong, untamed and free.

It is said that adversity is the best teacher, do you agree?

This post is an entry in the What I Learned from Adversity group writing project. The writing project is open to everyone and if you’d like to contribute, the deadline is midnight April 12th.