“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” –Lao Tzu
This ancient proverb is often trotted out as proof that the best help we can provide to our fellow man is to equip him or her for self-help. The problem is we’d much rather utter the hollow platitude than to actually spend time living it. We want to hold others accountable for their actions but leave little room for compassion. We blame the poor for their poverty (unless they live in a foreign country), the jobless for their unemployment and the uneducated for their failure to take advantage of their opportunity.
Our answer to real human suffering is to tell everyone to suck it up and “attract” a better life. Teaching a man to fish implies a willingness to get your hands dirty and interact with another human being, really interact. You may have to foot the bill for the pole and bait and give up time to walk them through step by step. It may take more than one lesson and it may require you to adjust your teaching style to fit their needs. You may even have to give him a meal first so that he has strength to learn.
It makes me wonder if we say it but truly mean, “Dude, fix your own problems.” Equipping a man to live for a lifetime is noble and compassionate. Empty platitudes on the other hand, in my book, are not only lame but downright mean in the face of true suffering.
What do you think? Are we content uttering nice sounding phrases or are we really willing to take time to help someone in need?
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June 22nd, 2009 on 8:43 am
Karen,
Well said,
The practice of blaming others for their misfortune is downright insulting and should be avoided in my books at all times.
Also, the saying to which you refer to above does not in any way represent any form of excuse to absolve ourselves of any responsibility to assist the less fortunate. ‘Teaching,’ implies a deliberate form of interaction, and if we are to apply that saying truthfully, then we must be ready to invest a little part of ourselves in lending a true hand, not just utter throw-away statements.
Andrew´s last blog ..America and climate change – messy action beats no action
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Andrew, it is insulting and sadly many do not even realize it. We all have the potential to be self-absorbed, in fact I’d venture to say we all suffer from it pretty regularly. Hopefully, we don’t stay stuck there and we’re attentive enough to the world and people around us to look up and notice when things are happening around us…hopefully.
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June 22nd, 2009 on 8:51 am
Hey Karen,
Great points, and I agree.
To really help somebody you need to give time and energy and have a deep pool of compassion and empathy. In other words, you take from yourself to give to them. That could be a friendly ear, puling them out of a hole, or a slap in the face (metaphorically speaking) if that’s what they need.
“Helping people help themselves” is a noble concept, but not without the backup you mentioned. It’s like saying you will be there for someone when they really need you, and then checking your calendar when they call.
I wish more people would practice the compassion they preach.
Conor
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Conor,
“Helping people help themselves” is a noble concept, but not without the backup you mentioned. It’s like saying you will be there for someone when they really need you, and then checking your calendar when they call.
This says it all so well! When you truly spend the time to help you not only teach that person to fish for a lifetime but you create a domino effect of blessings.
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June 22nd, 2009 on 10:24 am
Hi Karen, Platitudes solve nothing, even when they are true. For a person to pull out this particular fishing adage in lieu of actually helping is especially silly, since it’s much harder to teach than to give.
Brad Shorr´s last blog ..Teaching and Learning at JJL
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Hi Brad! Writing a check or pushing a button is pretty easy. It’s needed and helpful but in the big scheme of things, easy. Giving of yourself requires much more effort. You are right it’s easier to give than to teach.
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June 22nd, 2009 on 2:14 pm
You also have to accept that ‘teaching to fish’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘accept my mindset.’
Fred H Schlegel´s last blog ..Who Needs Innovation Training?
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Oooh Fred, that is just spot on! My gosh, read it three times. I wish you could see the intense agreement on my face. You nailed it and I am going to store this and quote you often. Man that’s good stuff!
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June 22nd, 2009 on 2:56 pm
Hi Karen – Well said – it’s sad but true. I spend a lot of time reading awesome quotes that are passed along in social media. Maybe we need to spend a bit less time passing on those words of wisdom and more time “doing them.”
As you say, it’s all too easy to blame folk for their problems, instead of offering a help in hand.
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Hi Cath – It saddens me that as quotes are passed (and don’t get me wrong, I love quotes!) there are also statements made that dismiss those who need real help. We all get busy and bury our head but hopefully we’ll learn to stop a little more often and extend a true helping hand to a person in need.
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June 22nd, 2009 on 3:39 pm
“No Time for Fishing” ?
SACRILEDGE!
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Karen Swim
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
And this my friend is what we call the Friar Bait Title. LOL!
Ha, got ya! There’s always time for fishing or at least that’s what my mum used to say. 
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June 28th, 2009 on 11:28 am
Karen,
I have just come back from the baltic states Estonia, Litvia and Lithuania, so I am a bit late in throwing in my 2 cents. “To teach someone to fish” is really more difficult than to simply buy the fish. You’ve got to answer many questions – what does he know about fishing at all, and how’s the best way for him or her to learn it. Or, saying it in a more generalized way: what do I, as the teacher, have to do in order to enable someone to learn it? I would never consider the quotation as an excuse for not helping someone.
Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..Lovely Lavender
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Karen Swim
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June 28th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Ulla, you are never late and I would say your 2 cents is worth far more!
You are so obviously a woman of great compassion and heart for others, we need more like you in this world. Welcome back! Can’t wait to see the pictures!
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