Hard but Not Forever

February 23, 2010

“Oh there been times that I couldn’t last for long

But now I think I’m able to carry on

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”

 –Lyrics from A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

I no longer care about rules. Challenge has a way of breaking you free from the self-imposed prison of expectations and lately I have had my share of challenges. In recent weeks, I have been brought to my knees in ways I never thought possible. It seemed to start with a small rumble, no real damage done just a little shaking but progressed to the walls crumbling in on me. And it is there that I have knelt in the rubble fighting to hold on with every fiber of my being. I am not writing this post from a place of self-pity and my purpose is not to whine about life. Yes, I know it’s a business blog and I should be sharing useful information or cheering you on with inspiration but all of that is meaningless if I am not honest enough to say “Sometimes life is hard.”

I understand intimately how chirpy platitudes can cause your teeth to grate when you are in the midst of a struggle. You want and need something more than an ancient quote or a pep talk. I get it. The other day I read one of those syrupy goodness updates and had the urge to throw my keyboard through a window.

Yet, I am also aware that the right word at the right time can lift a downtrodden head and give you the courage to hold on for a just a while longer. I have not lost my faith or optimism, in fact without them I would have been done in long ago. I just want you to know that we all struggle but it is not forever. I have had days where I fell to my knees with big fat crocodile tears rolling from my eyes but the tears soon dry and I get up and get back in the fight, and you can too.

This post is not for everyone and some of you will think I’ve lost my head. Today this may be for one person who is struggling and wondering if it will ever end. Yes, it will. I am not through with the present battle but I have lived long enough to know that this too shall pass. Sometimes it matters more how you go through the challenge than what is on the other side. Most importantly, know that you are not alone. We have all been there or will be there.

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Unleash Your Passion for a Perfect Performance

January 25, 2010

The day was crisp and cool, a perfect run day. I pushed off and soon fell into a gentle rhythm. The wind bit my cheeks and I reveled in the sensation of my body awakening to the adrenalin coursing through my body. Today, there were no training notes running through my head – watch your knees, breathe from the belly, check watch, adjust speed. Today, there was no thought of fartleks, tempo runs, pace per mile or negative splits. This one was just for me. I breathed deeply and enjoyed the rhythm of my sneakers and the soft sound of wind. As I warmed, I picked up the pace, celebrating the power in my legs.  Nothing else mattered on that run but to simply feel and enjoy. When I finally turned back, I was breathing harder and drenched in sweat. I was giddy and could have danced the last few yards but instead turned it up and sprinted in feeling like a gazelle, although I am certain I resembled  a middle aged woman with a crazed expression on her face.

Later that evening watching the US Figure Skating Championships I thought about my earlier run. The most enjoyable performances were those where technical acuity was matched by pure unadulterated passion. I watched Jeremy Abbott’s face as he skated flawlessly, his body gliding through the air effortlessly. Yes, he was skating for a medal but he was also skating for the sheer love of sport. His face was not a mask of studied indifference but laid bare revealing an unabashed joy. The raw passion so evident that you felt you had stumbled into a private moment and should quietly back away.

There is something profound about giving yourself over completely to passion. Becoming one with the moment and completely going for it, uncensored, and having a blast.

It makes me wonder why we pull the curtain down on our best selves in our day to day life. Why are we so afraid to just go for it in our work and in our lives? How much better would work life be if we let others see us exercise our gifts and talents with pure joy?

Jeremy Abbott prepared, planned and practiced but in that moment he stepped into the moment and went for it, fearless and passionate. The result was a spot on perfect performance that moved the audience to tears.

Prepare, plan and practice but when it’s your moment lean in, feel the passion and go for it!

How about you, ever go for it without worrying about the results?

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Sunday Inspiration: Number Your Days

January 3, 2010

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”- Psalm 90:12

It is Day 3 of the new year and decade. The celebrations are done, the goal sheets written and today we show up to begin filing the blank palettes that stretch before us. How we number the days will determine the final portrait when we reach Day 365. What we learn, do, give and gain is determined by the choices we make on Day 3, Day 4, Day 5 and each day thereafter. How will you number them? Will you act with intention as you live out your purpose and plan? Do you have a clear vision of where you are headed this year? Act with purpose each day and on day 365 you will be able to celebrate the goals reached and most importantly the wisdom gained.

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Ho, Ho, Help!

December 3, 2009

Tis the season to be jolly, but for many the holidays are a time of frenzy and stress.

The good news of the bad economy is that it has brought us face to face with our rampant appetite for excess. We discovered that we had accumulated much more than we could ever need.

Ah, but now the holidays are here and budgeting isn’t so much fun. Jolly tunes are playing and we are assaulted with buying messages everywhere we turn.  Our children’s eyes have grown wide with desire and our hearts long to fulfill their wish list. Not to mention the wonderful deals that will allow us to have that shiny new toy of our own at half the price.

Gift giving is a wonderful tradition but when the giving leaves you filled with everything but joy it’s time to reevaluate.

A great way to take back this wonderful time of year is to celebrate the true spirit of the season.  Talk to your family and extended family about the traditions you have established. Suggest creating new traditions such as:

• Rather than spending money on each other, pool your funds to help a local needy family. You do not have to look far to find a family that would be blessed by bags of groceries, winter coats for their children, or even toys to put under the tree. Make it special by shopping for the family together and then surprising them with your gifts. Your own children will experience the joy of helping others in need, guaranteed to last longer than the temporary high of shiny new gadget.
• Support a favorite charity. As we have cut back our own budgets, many charities are struggling with shrinking donations. What may seem a small amount to us can make a huge difference to a charity.
• Create a lasting family member. Take an extended family portrait, gather your family stories and make a book, visit a place that is significant to your family.
• Ditch the gifts and keep the togetherness. Isn’t that what this time of year is truly about? You can enjoy the warm traditions of faith and family without the stress and added pressures.
• Volunteer together. Your service does not have to be limited to the traditional acts of charity. Surprise an elderly neighbor by cleaning up his/her yard. Clean up a vacant lot in an area that can use a morale boost. Be creative and find something meaningful for the whole family.

My warmest remembrances of Hanukkahs and Christmases past have nothing to do with gifts. I bet that is true for most of us. We remember the stories, the laughter, the people who are part of our loving (or humorous) holiday moments. That is the best tradition of all that we can pass on to the next generation.

How about you? Any creative suggestions to celebrate the holidays that alleviate the financial pressures?

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Victim or Hero? What is Your Story?

September 11, 2009

I remember when 9/11 was simply a date on the calendar. That all changed eight years ago. The seemingly insignifcant numbers have come to represent the horrifying events that took place on September 11, 2001.  We now speak of them with a hushed reverence and silent tribute to the lives that were lost and prayers for those that were left behind.

However, along with the awful tragedy we also witnessed heroism, worldwide compassion and a unity that is unforgettable.

As I sit at my desk quietly remembering that day and the days that follow, my heart both aches for the losses and swells with pride as I remember the many acts of heroism during, and after the attacks by both those in uniform and ordinary citizens.  The many people who in the face of shock, anger, and fear simply chose to lead, serve and do.

I pray that none of us ever have to rise to a challenge like 9/11 or any of the other horrible terrorist attacks that have taken place across the world, but we all have the opportunity to be a hero in our everyday lives.

In his book, Be the Hero, Noah Blumenthal writes:

“Everyday heroes don’t always succeed, but they consistently act on the belief that they can do something to improve their situations and those of the people around them.” (pg. 2)

While Blumenthal’s book is not at all about 9/11, his assertion that  ”You can choose your response to everyday events that might disappoint, furstrate or anger you  - to react in a way that casts off the victim mentality and enables you to act with a hero’s resolve,” aptly describes the heroes of 9/11.

Quite simply, being a hero starts with thinking like one.

Today, is a National Day of Service and Rememberance . A day when we can choose to honor the memories of the lives lost by choosing to be an everyday hero. I believe that this is a most fitting tribute, don’t you?

Do you have any hero stories of your own to share? What does being the hero mean to you?

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Reinvention 1.0 – My Story

September 2, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

This is Part I in a two part story.

Several years ago, I had the life I wanted. I had a wonderful husband, a home I loved and a career that challenged and stimulated me. I was happy. Little did I know it was all about to change.

The job that I loved reorganized and to keep my position I would have to move from California to New Jersey. I never considered it (nothing against New Jersey) and opted to take a package. The VP of our department flew out to talk me out of it but I was steadfast in my commitment to embrace the unknown. If someone had told me the details of that unknown, I would have promptly hidden under the bed. I was going to take time off and just breathe for a few months. I had no idea how important my decision would be.

My last day of work, I turned in my company car, picked up my first personal car in 7 years and happily waved good-bye. That night, my husband, who had been healthy showed the first sign of an illness which would go undiagnosed for a year.

In between doctor appointments to diagnose my husband’s various symptoms, still mild enough that he could work, I joyfully embraced being a housewife. I had never been away from work for more than a week or two. I had decided to take 6 months off before rejoining the work force. In the first two months, 9/11 happened, one of my best friends was declining from Leukemia and my husband began having debilitating headaches that prevented us both from sleeping.

By the time I reached the end of my planned time off my youngest brother in-law had been diagnosed with Leukemia, my best friend passed away, another best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and my husband was diagnosed with Lung Cancer that had spread to the brain. Work was the last thing on my mind!

I was off work for 2 ½ years and we lived off our savings. The medical bills mounted as my husband’s cancer spread to the spine paralyzing him from the waist down. Yet, our house was not one of doom and gloom but hope and joy. My brother in law passed away and a few months later my husband joined him.

In the last month of my husband’s life I had interviewed for and won a job as an Oncology Product Manager. I did not want to leave my husband’s side but we needed money. I never had to make that decision and was with him until his death.

So at  39, I found myself widowed, childless and broke. Not exactly, the way I had planned to enter midlife.

In the midst of my grief, I knew that I had no choice but to move forward. Running marathons had taught me to just put one foot in front of the other and with God’s help I did precisely that.

I had not invited reinvention but there it was right in front of me. I did not feel up to the task. I had simply soldiered on for three years never realizing that my life was starting to resemble Job’s. And now I was sad, tired and not in the mood for change. But change I did.

I rescinded the acceptance of the job offer and instead relocated to Michigan to connect with my biological family. I called a recruiter, interviewed for one job and luckily for me I got it. I did not have the energy to go on multiple interviews. After a year, I was stable enough to launch Reinvention Part II.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you! Tomorrow, I’ll give you part II along with some of the life lessons I learned. I hope that through my experience I can offer you the wisdom I gained and the courage to face your own new chapter. Thanks for reading and if you think it will help someone else, please pass it along.

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Designing Your Reinvention

August 30, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

I am not sure if pigs are flying but I almost feel like they should be. Below is a 3 minute video of me (yes me!) in which I discuss reinvention. In many ways, this represents a new chapter for me too. I so believe in the power of change that I braved my video fears to share with you three quick tips on reinventing your life.

I have  had more than a few new chapters, and each time I think I’m all out of gas, I learn that we all have hundreds of “new starts” if we’re willing to face them.

Have you ever had to reinvent yourself? What lessons did you learn from the process?

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Be The Hero

August 7, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

Be the Hero: Three Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Work and Life is a new book by Noah Blumenthal. The book is essentially about overcoming self-inflicted victimization.  It inspires us to change the stories we tell ourselves, rise above and be the hero.

The book made the Top 20 in all books this week and it’s close to making the New York Times bestseller list for the week. Here’s the really cool part, all sales through Saturday, August 8th will count toward New York Times bestseller status. If When the book makes it Noah will donate  100% of his royalties from this bestselling week to the Miami Children’s Hospital.

Not a bad deal, you get a life changing book, and the chance to change the life of a child.

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How Well Do You Run the Turn?

June 29, 2009

I watched as the runners lined up in the blocks. Down on all fours pushing one leg back, rising again, shaking legs and arms to keep the body warm. Eyes flitted toward the finish line as they replayed their race strategy in their mind. Down again, hands out front, one leg back waiting for the starting gun.

The gun went off and the runners took off like hungry tigers let out of a cage. The air was charged with the electricity of competition as their cleats tapped a steady smooth beat on the hot red clay. Some got off to a fast start, others measured the pace patiently waiting to overtake their competition. As they approached the turn, I knew that this is where the race would be won or lost. Anyone could start fast or kick at the end, but in this race, the one who navigated the turn while maintaining speed and balance would win the race.

With a strong wind at her back, her jaw muscles relaxed as she leaned at the perfect angle navigating the turn with the speed of a sprinter and grace of a ballerina. Her gaze remained steady as she glided to an easy victory.

We often compare life to a marathon but in fact it is a series of short races. Each day, we see the finish line, and know the distance it will take to reach it. We plan our race strategy and choose a pace that we can sustain. We all have the capability to get off to a fast start or kick it at the end to reach the finish line. We can dig deep for that short burst down a straight path, but the race is often determined by how well you run the turn.

Lean too hard and you’ll throw off your balance. Slow down to take the turn and you lose momentum. Look to the right or left to judge your competitors and you lose it all. Taking the turn requires a combination of focus, strength, speed and agility.

How well are you running the turn?

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Saved by Hope

June 15, 2009

“Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,

Therefore, we are saved by hope.

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;

Therefore, we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.

Therefore, we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;

Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness.”

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