At the Intersection of Been There and Looking Ahead

January 5, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

Hello and Happy 2009! Like most people I have spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on the past as I planned for the future. I took real time away from business and the internet to relax,  reflect and reconnect with the neglected pieces of my life.

Before I moved forward it was important to review the lessons learned in the previous 12 months. What went right? What went wrong? More importantly how would I apply the lessons to keep growing and moving forward?

So, what did I learn?

1. Sometimes you’re on the right road but you’ve got the wrong mode of transportation.  For me this meant for  looking at plans and processes in detail. Often the plans were solid but I needed to tweak the process which included sometime appointing a different driver.
2. I am not my business. As a small business professional it’s easy to blur the lines between the business you created and you as a person. My whole reason for creating a business was to allow me to have the lifestyle I desired. I had to take a step back and realize Words For Hire is not Karen Swim. That delineation helped me to think about my business with a clear head free of emotional baggage.
3. I don’t have to know everything. This was a hard one but my natural curiosity led to information overwhelm. My feed reader had more than 400 subscriptions, I was receiving alerts every 5 minutes from the 50+ forums to which I belong and I was consuming far too much “news.” I cut my feed reader down, unsubscribed from tons of email messages (which I never read, they simply taunted me until my weekly email clean-ups) and stopped the steady flow of news.
4. Mindful motion trumps multitasking. I had redeveloped the very bad habit of thinking I could do multiple things at once…and do them all well. However, after a period of rest I returned to work focusing on one thing at a time, fully engaging and completing one task before moving on to another.  I accomplished more in half the time.
5. I’m the boss of ME.  I am not an employee in my life or business.  I am CEO and that comes with the responsibility of managing my most valuable asset - me. I have to chart the course and ensure ME Inc. stays on track. I also must set boundaries and block out the things that are impeding my progress.

Using the Past to Propel the Future

There would be no point in reflection if I was not going to take action on the information.  The first major change I’m making is to my schedule.  I’m switching to a 4 day work week with shorter hours each day.  I have committed to a 90 day experiement and will share what I learn with you here.

My schedule change will enable me the time to fully engage in the things I love like the blogging community. I would much rather complete my essential tasks for the day and then spend time visiting your blogs or chatting on Twitter rather than trying to juggle it all during the “work day.” I look forward to more meaningful interaction with all of you this year.

One final nod to 2008- Robert Hruzek has graciously extended an invitation to all of you to showcase your Best of 2008 posts in his super sized, Blogapalooza.  Going through my own archives proved to be a wonderful opportunity to see how far I’d come in a blogging year.  Robert’s more than halfway there to his goal of 100 participants. I would love to celebrate your accomplishments, so please participate and spread the word.

What’s in store for you this year? Care to share any big hairy audacious goals for 2009? Do you have a theme for the year? Your comments are always welcomed.

Farewell 2008

December 31, 2008

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”   -Soren Kierkegaard

As we reflect upon 2008, patterns emerge and the moments meld together to form a collage of life lived.  Mistakes and triumphs march side by side and simply become a unified journey. We are here and for that I am glad.

Thank you for being here this year. Whether you dropped in once or twice or frequently, thank you. To those that read silently and to those that commented, and debated, thank you. I am grateful to each and every one of you for support, friendship, and laughter. I am humbled that you have encouraged me in the face of failure and supported me as I grew.

I wish you all a fitting end to this incredible year of living well.

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” -   Hal Borland

Blowing in the Wind

December 29, 2008

Yesterday morning I was jarred awake by the sound of rattling windows.  My heart pounded as  I rose slowly listening to the wind howling all around me. I crept to the window and peered out. I struggled to see past the rain bashing against the window.  The wind was blowing with such force the rain appeared to be thrown from the sky with herculean force.  I tried to steady my breath and remember all that I knew about tornadoes (all that came to mind was Dorothy, not a great image).  The sound of the wind was frightening but if I were going to be swept away I wanted to see it coming.

As I stared wide eyed at the gray sky, the house rocked with thunder and the wind gained speed, ripping a tree from the ground and dropping it on its side.  The tree was one of three bordering the west side of our pond.  It had stood in the middle and now it lay like a fallen comrade on the battlefield.

The other two trees bent and swayed but remained firmly rooted in their place. I gasped at the fallen tree and the strength of the wind which had felled it with a mighty blow.

In that moment I realized that no matter how deeply rooted we are, or how strong, we are  all vulnerable to something mightier overtaking us. It was a humbling moment but also one in which I counted my blessings. There have been times in my life that I have been the tree in the middle knocked flat by the ferocity of the winds of life. At other times, I have been the trees on either side, bending but not breaking, swaying with the winds rather than fighting in opposition.

Unlike the fallen tree, my roots are never severed from the earth. The mighty winds have knocked me flat but grace has allowed me to not only rise but flourish. Along the way branches have been broken but the missing spaces allowed the sun to shine brighter illuminating the beauty of the rings or experience.

As I reflect upon the remaining days of 2008, I am truly thankful that I have bent and swayed but my roots have gone deeper and stronger.  Some of you may have been like the middle tree this year, while all around you others were standing you were thrown to the ground wondering if you would ever rise again. From one tree to the other, you can and you will.

How will you remember this year? What are you most looking forward to in 2009? All comments and feedback are welcomed and if you like this post, please share it with a friend.

The Friendship that Ignited a Blog

December 17, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

This time last year, I was an occasional blogger. I had done a fair amount of ghostblogging for clients and had tackled a few posts for my own blogger blog. I started blogging in 2005 - well kind of, I wrote 7 posts that year and 3 in 2006. In 2007 I wrote a little more but I still had not embraced the full experience of blogging. That all changed on December 17, 2007.

I received Copyblogger in my email, it was at that time my first and only blog subscription. The Copyblogger post was about drawing headline inspiration from Cosmo magazine. It was a writing challenge (at the time I had no clue about group writing projects) and Brian posted the round-up with links to everyone’s post. I dutifully visited each one, eager to learn headline techniques (my weakness). I clicked on Joanna’s link and here is the comment that started a wonderful friendship.

I was inspired and the next day wrote a post with bullet points! I continued to flirt with posting, but became more fascinated.  Joanna hosted a group writing project and I participated with this post. People visited my blog from her link and actually commented.  Blogging is fun but man it gets even better when you’re not talking to yourself! Joanna not only befriended me but selflessly shared her community and writing tips with me.  Her support gave me the confidence to keep blogging. I stumbled, experimented and did my first meme. I won and lost readers as I found my way.

As I look back on these past twelve months, the greatest gift of all are the friendships made along the way.  All the stats in the world can never communicate the value of meeting, connecting and sharing with all of you. I may not have 5000 subscribers (that’s next year’s goal!) but I could not ask for a better group of friends.  So, today is my Joanna Young Anniversary but I truly am celebrating all of you!

Do you remember what it was like to read your first blog? How about writing that first post? Share your own memories or funny moments in the comments.  I would also be pleased as punch if you’d tell a friend about Words For Hire. Introduce a newbie to the awesome gift of blog reading. Remember you don’t have to be a blogger to join the conversation.

Drunk with Power

December 16, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

Has social media created a culture drunk with power? We pluck our members from relative obscurity and elevate them to the ranks of celebrities. As quickly as we create them we can destroy them with the click of a mouse. Our blogs are a platform, irritate, or anger us and our mighty keyboard will take you down and invite our community to scourge you in the streets.

Some would say that social media is the great equalizer allowing small companies to compete with big box brands and giving on the street reporters the same right of access as Joe or Jane Journalist. We scoff at the dividing lines that once separated Madison Avenue from Everyman for there is a new order and we are burning the symbols of tradition at the stake.

Yet, at what price is this equality? Can the masses handle the power?

We accuse the old guard of being entrenched in outdated ways. However, lately I am beginning to see the battle from another perspective. The old guard suffered the hard knocks and had to play by the rules Journalists could not go on air and call someone an idiot on the strength of personal experience or opinion. Facts had to support suppositions before they could be voiced. Citizen journalists are not beholden to an editor, network, or legal department. There is an up and downside to this disparity.

We live in an age where we can print, photograph, video, record and publish in mere minutes. We have the freedom to exchange ideas and resources across the globe. Yet freedom is never free of consequence. Freedoms are traded, exchanged, and often won at the expense of something lost. Every country has an ugly chapter in their history that demonstrates the dangers of extending freedom to some and not all.

We can use our freedom  to trash a brand until it buckles from the weight of the scorned and acquiesces to our will. We can freely question the decisions of those among our ranks and ignite a debate that would have wearied Patton.

And why not? Nothing enhances visibility and drives traffic like a good old fashioned cat fight. Yet, what about the casualties we don’t see? What about the brands that fear our rules of engagement? What about the individuals that are splattered with the blood of our words as they sit on the sidelines? Are we creating unnecessary barriers between “us” the sage early adopters and “them?” Are we trampling upon the freedoms of the uninitiated to explore our streets of gold unhindered?

Freedom is beautiful but more so when exercised with responsibility. We have the freedom to talk during a movie but to do so detracts from the freedom of fellow movie goers. The opportunity to actively participate in the shaping of culture is heady stuff indeed.  As we exercise that power let us also exercise caution. Let us not commit the sins of generations past but truly forge a new order that embraces and includes not isolates. Let this be the order that does not engage in a gluttonous feast of power as we taunt those without a seat at the table.

In this new day let us air our differences with respect or not at all. Let us exercise the freedom not to engage in battle, especially at the expense of another. Let humanity be our guiding force and our hearts the beacon that guides our choices.  In this season of joy and celebration, perhaps the best gift we can offer is kindness and respect.

Do you have any ideas on how we can improve the way we interact using social media? Are there changes you’d like to see? Please feel free to add your own thoughts on this or any subject in the comments. Your participation is warmly welcomed.

The Gift of Words

December 12, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

“A book is a gift you can open again and again.” –
Garrison Keillor

I awakened to a cold dark morning. Without a trace of daylight, there was no external sign that it was in fact morning. I arose and made my way through darkness to open blinds and curtains in hopeful anticipation of light.  As I peered out my front window I spotted a light from across the pond and silently recited: “But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? ” It is a line from Romeo and Juliet (Act 2, Scene 2) and it’s tortured romance seemed to fit my morning unrest.

As I pondered the line again, I realized that I have not read or thought of this play in several years. My introduction to it was 40 years ago and yet the words effortlessly sprang to mind.  While partly a testament to the beauty of Shakespeare’s writing, the larger truth speaks to the gift of words.

Words have staying power.  The reasons a particular combination of words live on in our minds are as varied as the individuals who recall them. I only know that when we need them words are there.  Words are not the sole domain of the artist but like open source software they are free to everyone. We can tweak them, create new applications, and use them in ways not originally intended.

Our words can be a gift that we freely give each day. A simple note tucked into a child’s backpack can fill a heart with warmth when discovered and read. A favorite movie line spoken to a friend in need can inspire her to get back on track. “I’m sorry” can heal a wound, “I believe” can change a life.  Our words need not be eloquent or lengthy, simple and heartfelt are all that is required of this gift.

This time of year we box up presents in fancy wrap and top it with a bow.  In our rush to give we may miss the opportunity to give and receive a gift that is with us daily.  Words of kindness are in endless supply. There is no line on which to wait for a cheery “Good Morning” or “Have a wonderful day.” Words of gratitude will not be taxed when given to those who stand behind the counter.

I wish for you today a day that is filled with words that bring peace, joy and laughter.

Can you recall a time when words were a gift? Feel free to share your favorite memories, quotes, lines or songs or anything else that’s on your mind. Your comments are always welcomed.

I Gave at the Office

December 9, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

Giving during the holidays can become especially tricky in the workplace. Do you give a gift to your boss? What if you have a matrix reporting relationship, do you give to your dotted line boss too? Do you have to participate in Secret Santa? What do you give to colleagues you barely know?

Unfortunately, workplace giving is often more of a political issue than a true spirit of giving issue. Joanna Young, however sums up the nonsense that has colored the season:

“Billions of pounds worth of presents are returned each year, often the day after Christmas. At least people are starting to donate unwanted gifts to charity shops here so they can sell them on but really, you have to ask why we’re all buying so much unneccessary stuff.I’d rather we focus on meaningful thoughtful personal gifts which can’t be done on a mass scale.”

I have felt this way for years and I’m not alone. Re-gifting has risen to an art form.  Gifts become obligations and we give far more than is necessary. Chances are many of your colleagues are feeling the same way. You can lead the way in restoring the joy of the season and win at office politics.

If gift giving is your office tradition, suggest a new tradition this year. As everyone is feeling the pinch from the economy this year, people may be more open to eliminating interoffice gifts.

• Instead of gifts, suggest that everyone bring a canned good or toy to the office. Local food banks are really hurting this year with more families to feed than in past years. Unwrapped toys can be contributed to your local toy drive. In the U.S. fire departments, police departments and hospitals usually have programs.
• Select a community project and adopt them for Christmas. As a group you can pitch in and volunteer time and/or resources.
• Hold a blood drive. There is no greater gift than the gift of life. Blood banks are neglected this time of year and would welcome your efforts.
• Collect warm clothes or blankets. Blankets and warm clothes can be donated to local shelters.
• For a twist on Secret Santa, instead of gifts have recipients trade jobs for an hour or day.  This of course will only work in environments where skill sets can be used in a variety of ways.
• Share the gifts of your traditions. Have an interoffice gathering where everyone brings a dish and story that celebrates their own special traditions for the year.
• Instead of giving individual gifts to the boss, chip in and buy one gift from the group. Keep it simple and choose a neutral professional gift, add monogramming if appropriate for a mores personal touch.  If your relationship with your boss is very friendly, consider a gift certificate (spa gift certificates are one of my favorites).
• Go caroling. Your department / company can go caroling in the local community, at a local school or local children’s hospital.

Use your imagination and you’ll find that there are so many ways to bring colleagues together and rekindle the joy of the season.  To sell your ideas to bottom line managers, remind them that charitable efforts can be publicized. A photo of your team collecting canned goods or giving blood is a great story for your company newsletter, website or local paper.

How does your office celebrate the season? What are your ideas for restoring joy to the season? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Santa Cause or the Grinch who Stole your Present?

December 8, 2008

When Charity is not Charitable

In lieu of holiday gifts to employees, vendors, customers or even family members, you opt to donate to a charity in their name. You feel good that you have given a meaningful gift. After all helping the sick, needy, homeless or starving child is much better than a box of chocolate, holiday basket or scarf. Right?  While your insides may be warm and mushy from your charitable act the recipient may not be feeling your vibe.

At my old job, someone had the great idea one year to give to a charity in lieu of gifts to clients. Our Marketing Department (I had not made the move to Marketing yet and was a Sales Manager.) worked with vendors and ordered customized holiday cards that wished our customers Happy Holidays and proudly declared the gift that was given in their name. It was a disaster. It turns out that our customers preferred calendars and calorie laden gifts to a gift in their name.

My region negotiated a discount with See’s Candies and used our expense budget to make our customers happy with chocolate. The company went back to tradition the following year.

This was a noble idea that went horribly wrong. My company did a great thing for the charity by giving them exactly what they needed – money. However, they did a disservice to their customers by failing to remember the primary reason for giving – the recipient.

A gift should make the recipient feel valued. A donation in their name, unless expressly requested, can look like a “cheap” way out of putting thought and money into a “real gift.” Customers who have spent their dollars with you, vendors who have served you or employees who have contributed to your success appreciate knowing that their support was meaningful. It would have been far better to send a holiday card with a sincere message than a “donation in your name” message.

The recipient may not agree with your choice of charity. While giving a goat to a family in a third world country seems like a perfect gift to you, your recipient may not share your belief. Remember this is your gift to them not to yourself.

Instead of a donation in lieu of a gift, consider the following alternatives:

• Many charities sell gift items. A portion of your purchase supports the charity. This is a great way to benefit the charity and give a wonderful gift.
• Buy your holiday cards from a charity. For many years, I bought cards from one of my favorite charities instead of retail stores.
• Volunteer or raise money for charity as a group. Ask colleagues and family members if they’d prefer to skip the gift exchange in favor of a charitable pursuit (more on this later in the week).
• If you are a business owner, give a gift to charity and announce it to customers. You can still share the joy with customers by putting a blurb in your newsletter or website.

I am a firm believer in charitable giving but when it comes to gifts, do consider the receiver. If the cause  is not meaningful to them you may want to opt for the box of chocolates instead.

Have you ever received a gift that left you feeling giftless? How do you feel about cause related gift giving? Join the discussion and let’s learn and laugh together.

Resources:

• Great tips and ideas when cause related giving fits the receiver. Charitable Holiday Gift Ideas
• Holiday Gift Guide for Social Entrepreneurs
  
• Shop for Charity - Find causes to support and charitable gifts to to give
• Scarves for Sofia - Handmade scarves, proceeds will help a family with their international donation.
• Lillie Amman’s Christmas Giving Tips and Suggestions

What I Learned from the Generosity of Strangers

December 7, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

On February 2, 1992 I sat in an office at Daniel Freeman Hospital with a nun and friends who were there to support me. My mother had passed away this day and I was dutifully signing papers and handling the necessary administrative details. I saw and heard very little and remember even less. I walked out of the doors of the hospital inconsolable. I could not control the sobs as my body absorbed the loss of my best friend, confidante, and role model.

As I walked into the light of day, a woman stopped and touched my arm. Soon her arms were around me as she consoled me and prayed for me right there in the parking lot.  She had recognized the grief of losing a mother and rather than bowing her head and quickly walking away she stopped to offer comfort.  From the experience of her own grief she gave me the gift of hope.

I clung to her every word, this warm and gracious woman who had survived the loss of a beloved mother. I trusted her experience and believed the comforting words she offered.  I saw her sincere and giving heart and somehow through the pain knew that one day I would be okay too.

In the days and weeks ahead, her words wrapped themselves around me like a gentle hug. I ached more than I ever thought possible but because of this woman I had hope.  The gift this woman gave me was more precious than gold. She gave the gift of her self, her time and her heart to a wounded 29 year old who desperately needed it.

This woman’s gift taught me that a gift of self is as valuable as a pot of gold.  A willingness to share yourself with another may be the best gift you can give. Her gift also taught me to pay it forward from the cup of my experience.  Over the years, I have been quick to help others through loss offering insight from my own experience. It is not always easy to revisit your own pain but I learned from a stranger that the voice of experience can touch in a special way.

So often we think of generosity as a tangible or financial gift but the generosity of spirit is just as valuable. I will forever be grateful to this wonderful stranger for a gift that continues to bless me 15 years later.

This post is a contribution to the 19th edition of the What I Learned From groupwrite project.  If you missed this month’s project, never fear, read Middle Zone Musings for next month’s topic.

Is It Far Better to Give than Receive?

December 3, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

This morning I went out for a brisk walk. I had a yearning to inhale the frosty morning air and allow it to awaken my senses. I wanted to put aside my to-do list and simply be in the moment. No purpose, no planned route and no running. To make sure I wasn’t tempted I wore my uggs instead of running shoes. It was calming and peaceful. The cold air stung my cheeks and my body seemed to sing with joy “I’m alive!” My feet fell into a quiet rhythm with the quiet of the early hour.

My walk and “real workout” was followed by yoga. Today’s yoga session ended with the posture of giving and receiving. I was struck by the quiet balance,  the perfect equality of giving and receiving. I have no trouble with giving but receiving is something I have had to learn.

We love givers. We applaud their grace and generosity and desire to model their altruism but all too often givers are not good at receiving.  When you allow others to give to you, you are blessing them with a gift. You give them the opportunity to experience the joy of giving, the joy that fills your own heart so deeply. Don’t deny others the chance to give to you.

Do you find yourself saying things like:

No it’s okay I’m fine
Oh don’t worry I’ll do it
No, no you don’t have to bring anything

If so, it may be time to adjust the balance and accept the gifts that are graciously offered to you.

As a child I often heard the phrase “It is far better to give than to receive.” It was spoken by a generation seemingly afraid of sinking into moral turpitude. The Love Generation was all about peace, love and service. Don’t get me wrong, these are wonderful things but we got it wrong.

We spoke of giving as a higher standard, a selfless act. In fact the giver is in a position of power, to receive is humbling. We would much rather give than to admit our need for help. I would rather be the one feeding the hungry than to be hungry myself. However, when we have received, and learned to allow others to serve us it expands our compassion. Our giving becomes deeper and richer because we know what it means to receive.

This season, strive for balance. When help is offered, accept it joyfully. Be willing to let others share the load. They may not do it your way but humble yourself and allow them to give.

Are you able to strike the balance of giving and receiving?  Do you have any tips to share? Do you find it especially difficult at this time of year?

If you want to celebrate the generosity of others, Robert Hruzek’s latest group writing project is the perfect opportunity. The theme is What I Learned From…the Generosity of Others and you have until December 7th to submit an entry.

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