Dazed and Dissatisifed in Corporate America

January 6, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

How was your vacation? “Oh man it was great,” she offered with obvious joy in her voice. She then hesitated and her voice dropped, “but it was a mistake to take off two weeks because now I don’t want to go back to work.”

Every Friday night, Eva leaves the office with a bounce on her step. By Saturday afternoon, she is counting the dreaded hours to Monday morning. By Sunday night she is so miserable that she is unable to enjoy the remaining hours of her weekend as she thinks about returning to work on Monday morning. Eva has Sunday Syndrome.

Understanding the Illness

Sunday Syndrome is one of the many glaring signs that it is time to evaluate your job. Over the years I have seen the syndrome so often that I can spot the signs even in absence of the words being spoken. You may be surprised how many people have traded “job security” for happiness. They convince themselves that it is easier to remain with the devil you know than to jump headfirst into the unknown. They are wrong.

Staying in a job that makes you miserable is an injustice to both you and your employer. You’re showing up and doing the work but believe it or not you and your employer deserve better. Your employer wants people who identify, improve, reduce, grow and generally contribute value to the organization. You want to be stimulated, challenged and engaged. When you and your employer are aligned, you both win.

Digging Deeper for a Diagnosis

Assess what really bothers you about your job. Is it the work or the environment? Are the deadlines and demands overwhelming or are you so bored that counting paint chips would be more exciting? Is it the company culture or just your department?

What do you like about your job? What tasks would you gladly perform even if they were not part of your job?

Choose the Right Cure

The obvious cure is to change your job, and if the company, culture and work are what’s ailing you then this is the path you should choose. However, many people fail to explore a less obvious but often viable option - change your job but keep the company.

Job roles and descriptions are not written in stone.  Do you have ideas that will improve efficiency? Are there unfulfilled needs that you can manage in addition to your current duties? Can you volunteer for a special project? Are there unmet needs that would result in a newly created position? Prepare a written plan and present it to your supervisor. You should treat this as you would a formal interview for a brand new job. Identify the pros and cons and be prepared with answers. Assess the costs and the return on investment. If your supervisor is not immediately sold on the idea, propose a trial period in which you can measure the results and meet at the end of the period to discuss.

Whether you propose a brand new job, or modifications to your current one, you will never know what is possible until you ask.

At the Intersection of Been There and Looking Ahead

January 5, 2009

Written by Karen D. Swim

Hello and Happy 2009! Like most people I have spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on the past as I planned for the future. I took real time away from business and the internet to relax,  reflect and reconnect with the neglected pieces of my life.

Before I moved forward it was important to review the lessons learned in the previous 12 months. What went right? What went wrong? More importantly how would I apply the lessons to keep growing and moving forward?

So, what did I learn?

1. Sometimes you’re on the right road but you’ve got the wrong mode of transportation.  For me this meant for  looking at plans and processes in detail. Often the plans were solid but I needed to tweak the process which included sometime appointing a different driver.
2. I am not my business. As a small business professional it’s easy to blur the lines between the business you created and you as a person. My whole reason for creating a business was to allow me to have the lifestyle I desired. I had to take a step back and realize Words For Hire is not Karen Swim. That delineation helped me to think about my business with a clear head free of emotional baggage.
3. I don’t have to know everything. This was a hard one but my natural curiosity led to information overwhelm. My feed reader had more than 400 subscriptions, I was receiving alerts every 5 minutes from the 50+ forums to which I belong and I was consuming far too much “news.” I cut my feed reader down, unsubscribed from tons of email messages (which I never read, they simply taunted me until my weekly email clean-ups) and stopped the steady flow of news.
4. Mindful motion trumps multitasking. I had redeveloped the very bad habit of thinking I could do multiple things at once…and do them all well. However, after a period of rest I returned to work focusing on one thing at a time, fully engaging and completing one task before moving on to another.  I accomplished more in half the time.
5. I’m the boss of ME.  I am not an employee in my life or business.  I am CEO and that comes with the responsibility of managing my most valuable asset - me. I have to chart the course and ensure ME Inc. stays on track. I also must set boundaries and block out the things that are impeding my progress.

Using the Past to Propel the Future

There would be no point in reflection if I was not going to take action on the information.  The first major change I’m making is to my schedule.  I’m switching to a 4 day work week with shorter hours each day.  I have committed to a 90 day experiement and will share what I learn with you here.

My schedule change will enable me the time to fully engage in the things I love like the blogging community. I would much rather complete my essential tasks for the day and then spend time visiting your blogs or chatting on Twitter rather than trying to juggle it all during the “work day.” I look forward to more meaningful interaction with all of you this year.

One final nod to 2008- Robert Hruzek has graciously extended an invitation to all of you to showcase your Best of 2008 posts in his super sized, Blogapalooza.  Going through my own archives proved to be a wonderful opportunity to see how far I’d come in a blogging year.  Robert’s more than halfway there to his goal of 100 participants. I would love to celebrate your accomplishments, so please participate and spread the word.

What’s in store for you this year? Care to share any big hairy audacious goals for 2009? Do you have a theme for the year? Your comments are always welcomed.

Help! - Not Just a Beatles Song

December 15, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help. *

Last year at Christmas, one of my best friends was going through a rough time. She was going through a divorce, her husband sued her for alimony, she was paying a mortgage and a lease and was recovering from major surgery. Yet, she remained grounded in her faith and characteristically upbeat.

I longed to be there for her but could only offer comfort and friendship by phone. During this time, her family traveled to be with her and her children during the holidays. Her father, stepmother, brother, wife and brand new baby filled the house with love and warmth. I was thankful she was not alone but also knew the financial strain of having guests. She never shared the depth of her problems with her family and while she enjoyed their company she felt horrible for not being able to buy them gifts and prepare a nice holiday meal. Toward the end of their two-week stay she was forced to confess her struggles and her family asked “Why didn’t you ask for help?”

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any way.*

Last week, James wrote a hard-hitting post about this very subject. It touched a deep chord as I questioned my own prideful determination to handle my problems alone. When my friend shared that she had no money and could not even buy groceries, her family gladly wrote her a check. She was so grateful for the love and help and the reminder that “we have not because we ask not.”

My friend, more sister than friend and is often a mirror of my own weaknesses. We are both tireless cheerleaders happy to lend an ear or hand but seldom asking for one in return. I am here to tell you sometimes the cheerleader needs a rally too. I read James’ post and cried for everyone (including myself) who has suffered in silence too embarrassed or proud to ask for help.

I have gotten better about receiving when offered but asking takes it to a new level that still frankly makes me uncomfortable. I am actively working on change (greatly aided by this big fat public declaration).

I know that right now there may be those reading this with unmet needs. You are not alone. Most people have good hearts and are happy to lend a hand when asked. Yes, there may be those who see you in a different light or a small few who simply will not care. That is their issue and not yours. Many more will gladly step up to the plate with help and solutions, if only you will ask.

But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.*

For those who may not have a need today, I encourage you to reach out to someone you believe may need help. That simple kindness can be the best gift you give this holiday season.

Have you ever suffered in silence? What kept you silent? Please feel free to share your own thoughts, observations, stories or song lyrics. All are welcomed.

*”Help”, Lyrics by Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Sony /ATV Tunes LLC, Sony Beatles Ltd

Waiting for the Train

November 24, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

I walked from my husband’s hospital room out into the hallway. I had become a familiar fixture and the staff welcomed me as one of their own. I had been given access to the fresh linens and the staff lounge. I would chat with the nurses while microwaving tea or share a laugh as I grabbed linen to change my husband’s bed. On this day, as I headed out into the familiar sterility, an older woman caught my eye. She was about 5 feet 4 inches tall with salt and pepper colored hair. She was wearing a hospital gown and slippers and held a black handbag firmly on her arm. It was a bag that more aptly could be described as a pocketbook. A relic from years gone by when women wore hats on their heads and stockings on their legs.

She made her way toward me and I saw the twinkle that remained in her aging eyes. She gently touched my hand and asked, “Do you know when the train is coming?” Momentarily confused, I then realized the poor old dear had dementia. “No, I’m not sure when the train is coming, but why don’t we wait over here?” I commented as I tried gently leading her back to her room. She smiled and began to tell me how she was traveling to see her daughter. I linked arms with her as we made our way toward her room listening to her tales.

Her mind remained in a time long past but her dignity was ever present. In her hospital gown with her purse firmly in her grip, I could tell that she was truly a lady. Her held remained held high as she waited joyfully in a hospital hallway that had become her railway station.

I am not sure why I recall this story today but all these years later I can still see the twinkle in her eye. As I now pass through a season of aging with my own family members, I am filled with hope that our minds may fade but the essence of who we are is never lost. The twinkle in our eyes, the joy in our hearts is not dimmed by time.  In this season of the year when we pause to reflect and give thanks, for this I am truly thankful.

Have you had to deal with aging issues? Any tips to share with those that may be enduring this season of life with parents, relatives? Feel free to share on topic or off. All discussion is welcomed. Hang out and strike up a conversation with me or anyone else.  The doors are always open for you and that cushy chair has your name on it.

I’m with Stupid

November 4, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

I sat staring at my computer screen. There were words there and many of them even made sense but it dawned on me I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. You see, I’m writing a novel. At least I think it’s a novel. Three days into this NaNo thing, and I came face to face with my utter stupidity.  I am clueless. I laughed at my utter lack of knowledge. I had never studied character or plot development, had I? If I ever knew anything before, I sure as heck couldn’t recall it today.

So, I sat and laughed at my arrogance. I was writring a novel without a clue.  It made me wonder how many other things I didn’t know. Turns out I know more than I think and I know less than I think.  I became prettty comfortable with being stupid for the moment. It wasn’t so bad. I remembered the words of my Appraiser professor, “If you don’t know something, fess up and get yourself some learning.”  So, I figured fessing up to stupidity was actually a pretty smart move.

Wiser minds, like Jamie Grove, had warned this would happen. So I learned from his words. Lillie had warmly encouraged us all to give ourselves to write absolute green dreck. So l learned from her words. I had no idea where this story was going so I asked my characters. Turns out they had pretty strong ideas and even introduced me to some new people. So, I forged on typing my sometimes green dreck on the screen.

The experience helped me see some other things in my life from a new perspective.  I grew excited, as I looked at my marketing plan and admitted my stupidity. I went in search of knowledge to learn what I did not know or to relearn what I knew in a new way.  Things I had once ignored suddenly appealed to me. I was stupid and my resistance was gone. I became energized as I sought to fill in those empty spaces.

At the end of the day, a friend came to me and declared she needed my help.  I laughed at the irony and gladly filled in her empty spaces.

Have you ever come face to face with your lack of knowledge? How did it make you feel?

Paralyzing Perfectionism

November 3, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

“Getting through a first draft will require you leave perfectionism and self-criticism at the door. Fear not: We’ll keep them both safe and return them to you in December.” –Chris Baty, NaNoWriMo

As I read this line from my first NaNo email on Saturday, I realized that I would be all too happy to leave perfectionism and self-criticism behind. They are two attributes with deep roots in my life, nurtured by the childhood rewards of A pluses and gold stars, and strengthened by a lifetime of rewards for good behavior.

We humans are fond of perfectionism. We strive to be flawless. We reward 100% and beyond. We applaud it in school and in the workplace.  Perfect is the ultimate compliment.

I worked in Healthcare for more than two decades. Imperfection could cost a life. For nearly ten of those years I worked for a clinical laboratory. A false positive, or false negative, lost sample or lost report were critical errors that affected the hospital, physician, and patient. Errors could affect a life and my bottom line. I became a Six Sigma trainer and learned the true difference between 99% and 100%.

Today, however, as I think of it I realize that even error free may not be perfect. An error free lab test is not perfect. Much of medicine is in fact, imperfect. As a writer, I can strive for grammatical and factual accuracy but alas, I will still not be a perfect writer.

I will never be perfect. The realization does not depress me but frees me. I will still strive to get there anyway because the true beauty is in the process, the journey itself.  With my newfound knowledge, I will  take the journey with a healthy balance of self-criticism and self-nurture. No longer will I allow the goal and it’s taskmaster to rule over me. No, I’m not perfect but the daily goal of trying to see how close I can get just got a lot more fun.

Chris, I really appreciate you safeguarding my treasures of perfectionism and self-criticism but I won’t be needing those back, thank you very much. I’ve replaced them with something far better - freedom. So far, it feels pretty good. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.

How about you? Have you shaken off the shackles of paralyzing self-perfection?  What tips do you have for balancing working toward quality without allowing it to stifle you?

Related References

• Overview of Six Sigma

Trick or Treat?

October 31, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

I awakened in the middle of the night, my cheeks wet with tears. I wiped away the tears and felt the crushing weight of grief. The grief was, however not mine but Nikki’s. Ah Nikki, so that’s her name! I had toyed with other names but last night she emphatically declared that Nikki would be her name.

All week I have pushed away my fears and anxieites about National Novel Writing Month. Yesterday, realizing that I was two days away, my characters fought to be given life. They are demaning that I get to know them so that I may tell their stories.

Nikki made me feel her loss at a time of day when I could not push her away and tend to other business. She tapped an old experience and forced my heart to feel her pain. My challenge is to tell her story so that you feel it too.

For years I have written for others. I have cloaked myself in their words and adopted their voices. I have written their words uncredited, a shadow in the background as they made the rounds as published author. I enjoyed birthing their vision.  When my part was done, I silently retreated ready for my next role and costume change.

I had my own stories but feared I had lost my own voice. I reasoned there was no time for the foolish dreams of writing a book. I had to earn a living. I had responsibilities.  There was always someone needing something from me. Where would I find the time?

For the month of November, I will selfishly carve out time every day to write my words and tell my story. I am both terrified and exhilarated. I am gripped with doubts daily - what if I run out of words, what if I really suck, what if the story is no good, what if the story is good and I can’t tell it.  Today, on the eve of my writing challenge I lay those doubts to rest. I am committed to this time of focusing on my voice and my words.  I am less concerned about the end result than I am with simply showing up for me everyday.

I may not have a best selling novel at the end of November but I am certain that I will have a better me. The draft of my story as a writer will have more words, more experiences and I’m sure growth.

Today, as much of the world dresses up in costume and engages in treats and trickery, I am chasing away the ghosts and gremlins that yell “Boo” in the night. My treat is not a sugary confection wrapped in pretty paper but the knowledge that I am taking on a challenge not because I have to but simply because I want to do it..just for me.

We all have those things that we want to do, right? The list of longed for goals that we tuck in a drawer rationalizing them away as silly fantasies or fun dreams that maybe, could, will happen someday. Today, give yourself a treat. Pull out that list and make time for one thing for yourself. They are only silly someday dreams when they are “out there” in the ether unattended to and undone. Chase away your own ghosts and goblins and take action on your behalf. Life does not have to be one long serious pursuit. Your desires and dreams are not silly, they are important because they are uniquely yours.

So, how about it, will you join me in treating yourself? Trick or treat? What’s your choice?

Keeping Your Head In a Mad, Mad World

October 28, 2008

Yesterday, as I took a break from work to gaze out the window the line of Rudyard Kipling’s poem, If ran through my mind: “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs..” Lately, my thoughts often turn to words of the past. Unlike so much of our grab and go culture, the words of yesteryear continue to resonate with relevancy and timeless wisdom. If was written in 1865 but seems so appropriate for these times.

If you can keep your head...when stocks are falling and experts are predicting disaster

when all about you are losing theirs…as panic and fear displace reason and focused intent

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you…standing steadfast in your beliefs and uncompromising on your values…But make allowance for their doubting too…because listening to others is a virtue of great leadership. No man knows it all and the input of others provides perspective, a gut check to ensure the path you have chosen is the right decision.

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,…you can achieve your dreams and have a life of meaning, purpose and balance. IF…

Wishing you all the best today!

Karen

IF - Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Write a Novel in Six Months … or Thirty Days

October 27, 2008

Guest Post by Lillie Ammann

November is almost here, and many of you are gearing up to write a 50,000 word novel during National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

I’ve never participated in NaNoWriMo, and I’ve never written a novel in thirty days. However, I wrote an 85,000 word romantic mystery novel in six months, writing only a few hours one day a week. If I had written every day instead of once a week, I would have finished the first draft of Dream or Destiny in less than thirty days.

Perhaps the method I used to write a novel in six months can help you write a novel in thirty days if you write more often than I did.

• Make a commitment. I committed to write a chapter each week so I would have something for a weekly critique group meeting. You can make a commitment to write 50,000 words in thirty days or 1500-2000 words a day or 12,000 words a week during the month of November.

• Ensure accountability. My critique partners held me accountable. I didn’t want to show up at the meeting without a chapter for them to read. You can report your word count on the NaNoWriMo Web site, share updates on your blog, or compare progress with writer friends who are also NaNoWriMo participants.

• Establish a schedule. I set aside three to four hours the afternoon before my critique group meeting to write each week. You will likely have to sacrifice some other activities for the month of November to create enough time to write 50,000 words, so decide on a schedule that works for you. Early in the morning, late at night, on your lunch hour, during the baby’s nap … plan time to write each day. How much time you need will depend on how fast you write. If you don’t know how many words you average in an hour, write a short story and calculate your output. Then schedule the amount of writing time you’ll need to draft your novel in November.

• Be willing to write pure green dreck. The goal of NaNoWriMo is not to produce a finished novel but to create a first draft. Resist the urge to edit—you can do that long past the end of November. Your job during NaNoWriMo is to produce a draft to polish later.

• Make it easy to get started the next day. I like to write a few sentences into the next chapter in each writing session. The next time I sit down to write, I find it easier to get started because I’m looking at the beginning of a scene rather than a blank page. It also helps to get back into the story by reading the last few paragraphs written the day before.

• Don’t let getting stuck slow you down. There’s no law that says you have write a novel from beginning to end. If you get stuck, don’t quit writing. Write something else—a scene later in the book, even the last chapter. Or make a note that you need to add a scene or a chapter and continue writing. Keep the momentum going throughout the month.

I hope these six tips help you become a NaNoWriMo winner.

Maybe you’re wondering what happened to that novel I wrote in six months. Dream or Destiny was published by GASLight Publishing, LLC this month. You can read reviews or a free excerpt on my Web site.

My visit here at Words for Hire is the first stop on my blog book tour, which will continue for the next three weeks. If you follow the tour, you’ll learn where I got the idea for the story and why it took ten years for the book to be published.  But now it’s time to focus on writing that novel in thirty days. Good luck!

I look forward to your comments, and I’ll check back during the day to answer questions.

I am so thrilled that Lillie included Words For Hire on her blog book tour! Lillie has graciously agreed to give away a copy of Dream or Destiny to one lucky Words For Hire reader. To enter, simply leave a question or comment on today’s post.  You may comment at any time during the day or evening. The contest will close at 8am EST Tuesday, October 28th. One reader will be randomly selected as the winner. I have started reading my copy of the book and I am hooked!

Lillie Ammann didn’t start writing until a devastating stroke convinced her it was time to pursue her lifelong dream. She sold her interior landscape business and started her new career as a freelance writer and editor. Dream or Destiny is her second novel. Lillie and her husband Jack live in San Antonio, Texas. She blogs at A Writer’s Words, An Editor’s Eye.

A Verse of Hope

October 21, 2008

Written by Karen D. Swim

I awakened this morning to darkness. Momentarily confused without the morning light to guide me, I got up and padded to the window. I peered out into the darkness silently willing the dawn to break. I gave thanks for the day as I carefully stepped through the darkened house to prepare for the day. I stopped for a moment to breathe in the peaceful stillness. I wanted to hold on to that feeling of calm serenity for as long as possible.

A few short hours later that peace was challenged as I read about the man who hung an effigy of US Presidential candidate, Barack Obama from his front yard lynching tree, the newscaster beaten in her home,  and the mother gunned down while walking her daughter to school.  My heart lurched and I clutched that peace close as I prayed for those with such hatred in their heart.  As I wondered about the state of our world and what I could do to make a difference, I stumbled across this poem.

O Me! O Life! –by Walt Whitman

“O Me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who  more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”

My heart regained hope as I clung to the answer - I am here and I can contribute a verse. In this world filled with negativity, I can write words that inspire and uplift. In my encounters with people today,  I can allow my smile and cheery greeting to be a love song.  I can listen to those forgotten, hug those in need of affection, speak up on behalf of injustice, offer water to the thirsty. I am here and I can contribute a verse.

How are you feeling today? What verse will you write?

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