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  • June 15, 2025

Are you a commitment phobe?

June 20, 2008 by Karen Swim

by Karen D. Swim, Photo: Jeff Belmonte, Flickr.com

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”Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.” —Peter F. Drucker

Do you have a fear of commitment? According to Queendom.com, “Commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit, particularly to relationships.” The site offers a commitment readiness test to help you assess if you are commitment phobic or “ready to take the proverbial plunge?”

Commitment phobia is not exclusive to relationships. You may fear making a commitment to yourself. You will not invest the time and resources in your goals and dreams because you are not quite ready to take the plunge.

Commitment to yourself requires a willingness to accept change, and that can be scary. However, change is necessary as standing in the same place, doing the same thing will yield the same results.

“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt.” —Rollo May

Commitment moves your “I Want” to “I Will.” When you are fully engaged, losing is no longer an option. Tiger Woods did not delay surgery because he wanted to win the US Open. He made a firm commitment, stating his intention to win the US Open.

Melanie Roach captured the #1 one spot on the four woman 2008 Olympic Team. Melanie has a full life as the mother of three small children under the age of six, one of whom is autistic, owner/operator of a gymnastics training facility with over 500 students, wife of fourth term incumbent Washington State House of Representatives legislator, and Sunday school teacher! Yet, she committed to her dream of making the Olympic team and made it happen.

As in relationships, commitment does not come without bumps in the road. You are certain to hit some speed bumps along the way. Work through them and keep moving forward. As you move through challenges you will find that your commitment will deepen. Do not fear the challenge, fear quitting!

Are you willing to take the plunge for YOU today?

Filed Under: Fierce Friday, Inspiration, Inspiration for Business Tagged With: commitment, committing to your self, dreams, goals, personal inspiration

Achieve A Lot with Just A Little

June 16, 2008 by Karen Swim

by Karen D. Swim

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
— Vincent Van Gogh

As we begin the second half of 2008, it is a good time to evaluate and adjust if necessary. In considering my own journey I realized that the only thing separating me from achieving all that I want is “a little.” The path from average to great is only a little farther away. Consider the impact of just a little.

  • Adding a mere ten minutes to a run can burn an extra 100 calories.
  • Ten dollars a month can prevent a child from starving.
  • You can develop a new habit in 21 days.
  • A dash of salt can season an entire dish
  • Making one more sales call at the end of your day can help you win President’s Club.
  • A basketball team can win a game by one point.
  • You only need one publisher to accept your book.
  • Tiny mustard seeds grow into shrubs three or four feet high.
  • A tiny variation in a single gene determines how acutely you feel pain.

What impact would a little extra effort have on your business, your life? Would your family benefit from one hour of your focused attention? How would one extra rep impact your workouts? Would one additional client per week make a difference in your business? Could a tiny change in your budget help you meet your financial goals?

What about you? Can a little go a long way in your life?

Filed Under: Inspiration, Inspiration for Business

What I Learned from Bullies

June 11, 2008 by Karen Swim

by Karen D. Swim

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I am firmly convinced that the little boy who took my milk money in first grade is either a CEO or a convicted felon. Hopefully, he channeled his alpha tendencies in a positive manner and is a CEO, but the latter choice would not surprise me!

We all knew bullies growing up. Heck, some of you may have even been that bully. Not all bullies asserted their authority physically, some were geniuses at mental torture. Others reigned their kingdom with superior skills and an authoritative tone. Yet, looking back I learned valuable lessons from each and I believe became a better person as a result of my encounters with them. So, without further ado, my bully hall of fame and the lessons they taught me.

Joaquin (First Grade Bully)

Joaquin was a tough little kid who ruled the school yard with an iron fist. He took my milk money for weeks before I gained the courage to tell my parents. When my mom came to school and personally advised him to leave me alone, he suddenly became just another first grader. Lesson learned: Bullies are tough, but moms are tougher!

Leticia (Grades 1-6)

Leticia came from a big family and she was loud and bossy. She ruled the tether ball court and we all patiently awaited our turn each day allowing us to kick our butts. Leticia was not unstoppable but her confident attitude led us all to believe that she could not be beaten.She was allowed to wear her hair and clothing styles that my mom forbid for me, which added to her standoffish cool. We went on to become great friends. Lesson learned: The right attitude will make people sit up and take notice, that and a cool hairstyle.

Alexis (Middle school)

Alexis was the quintessential teenage mean girl! She hated me and found new ways to torment me almost daily. She befriended another mean girl and together they were Evil and Evil personified. What incited their hatred? A boy of course. I have a permanent bump on the back of my head courtesy of Alexis. I later learned that the torturous duo each came from less than ideal homes. Lesson learned: Bullies are often acting out their own internal pain. Be empathetic, don’t take it personally and when they come near you run like the wind!

All of these bullies and the ones I later encountered in Corporate America taught me strength. I learned to stand up for myself and not allow others to walk over me. I learned that fear was my true bully not people. Leticia also taught me to aim beyond my comfort zone. Because of her, I practiced tether ball at home every day preparing myself to beat her. I may not have become a world class tether baller but I did stretch myself to new limits.

What about you? Did you encounter bullies on the schoolyard (or in the workplace)? What lessons did you learn? The comment box is open and all are welcome!

Filed Under: Inspiration, Inspiration for Business

Are You Ready to Get Lucky?

June 3, 2008 by Karen Swim

Push Button For Luck

by Karen D. Swim, Photo credit: kamaru, Flickr.com

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.–Seneca

The Detroit Pistons made it through 82 regular season games and won a spot in the playoffs. Reserve Guard, Lindsey Hunter had been inactive for most of the season but he too would participate in the playoffs.

Like his teammates Hunter wanted the team to become the 2008 Champs. After all, at 37 this could be his last season. He wanted the ring and they now had an opportunity to go all the way. When the time came, Hunter was ready. Physically and mentally prepared, he sprang into action and energized his team at crucial moments during the series. He showed no sign of rust from lack of playing time, in fact he looked better than most of the starters who had played all season long.

Are you ready for opportunity? If the phone rings today and you are asked to give a presentation for the biggest client you’ve ever landed, are you ready? If offered a chance to exhibit your work, are you ready? If your boss quits and you are suddenly in line for a promotion, are you ready?

Far too often in life, even if we are technically ready, we are not emotionally or mentally ready. We make excuses as to why we cannot seize opportunity when it lands on our doorstep. “I don’t have enough experience.” “Well, I would if…” “I just don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Any of these sound familiar?

“..be prepared in season and out of season..”–II Timothy 4:2, NIV Bible

Perfect alignment rarely, if ever happens. You have to be prepared in and out of season when opportunity comes your way. If called into action, are you ready to bring your “A” game? How do you get prepared? You practice. Lindsey Hunter practiced all season long to play mere minutes at the end of a long season. You have to train your mind, body and skill set as if every day you will be presented with your shot at the championship. Look deep within your soul and ask yourself what you really want. Are you ready to have it?

It’s fun to share, so please join in the discussion and share in the comments!

Filed Under: Inspiration, Inspiration for Business Tagged With: business advice, business preparation, preparing for opportunity

I Believe In You

May 30, 2008 by Karen Swim

by Karen D. Swim

Photo credit: Flickr | darkpatator

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Today I want to give to you a gift that has meant so much in my own life – the gift of belief.

My all time favorite teacher was Mrs. Lorna Hart. She was my first grade teacher and had a profound influence on my life. Mrs. Hart was the first adult other than my parents who truly believed in me. I always made good grades, but Mrs. Hart nourished my love of learning and filled me with confidence to keep reaching even higher. She set her expectations high and I rose to the challenge.

She did not believe that I was perfect. She did not believe that I would never fail. Like my parents she believed that I had the ability to keep moving forward, growing and learning along the way. Belief gave me the courage to eliminate “I can’t” from my vocabulary. It gave me confidence to continually test the limits of capabilities. Her belief rubbed off on me and I began to believe in me too.

Over the years I have been blessed to have other people come along just when I needed the reinforcement to give me the gift of belief. Before I declared “I am a writer,” someone else said “You are a writer.” Those words echo in my soul every day giving me the power to pick up a pen and practice my craft. Having someone tell you that they believe “you can” is the ray of light that causes the bud of your talent to come into full bloom. A whispered encouragement can cause your heart to soar and restore your confidence.

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”–Mahatma Gandhi

So, today I want to shine the light on you and tell you that I BELIEVE IN YOU. I believe that you can start that business, write that book, make that career transition, get that promotion or run that race. I believe that you are good enough, bright enough and strong enough to boldly go after your dreams. I believe that NOW is your time to shine and you will seize the opportunity. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

How has belief or the lack of belief impacted your life? Can you recall the first person who truly believed in you? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Filed Under: Inspiration for Business

A Post About Nothing

May 28, 2008 by Karen Swim

by Karen D. Swim

This is a post about nothing. Seriously. There are no neatly bulleted or numbered lists telling you how to, when to, or why to. Do not look for the deeper meaning because there is none. This is not a gimmick or cheap marketing trick to get you here and then wham surprise you with a brilliant post that moves you to tears. It really is about absolutely nothing. Nada baby, zilch! So don’t say I did not warn you.

Most people are familiar with the oft quoted 23rd Psalm (The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want) but one of my favorite verses is “he leadeth me beside still waters (quiet waters in some translations), he restoreth my soul.” When I think of still waters, it immediately fills me with a deep peace. The stillness here I believe refers to internal as well as external. In my mind the still waters is a place of deep restoration and tranquility, a place where nothing is happening.

In our fast paced world, we don’t leave room for nothing. Children who are doing nothing are given something to do. In the workplace, doing nothing could be grounds for termination. Even our conversations have to be about something.

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.–Ariel Durant

Yet, doing nothing has its merits. Seinfeld was a show about nothing, or rather the mundane, everyday that makes up our lives. You know the stuff we miss because we’re too busy doing something.

In those nothing moments, my mind is allowed to roam free. My senses become more attuned to the world around me. My breathing slows and my body relaxes. Inspiration is allowed to flow freely and my creativity is sparked. Nothing seems impossible when I am doing nothing.

If it has been awhile since you did nothing, join me by the still waters today. We can do nothing together.

I would absolutely love to talk about nothing with you so please spark a discussion by posting your comments. If I’m out doing nothing, feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

Filed Under: Inspiration, Inspiration for Business

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