by Karen D. Swim

"I have seen the bigger picture and I can’t do everything and have everything. "– Dr. Miranda Bailey, Grey’s Anatomy

The Bigger Picture does not always come into focus all at once. Very often we only see fragments at at time. The pieces do not fall into focus until we take a step back and examine them with our attention on the whole rather than the detail that makes up the whole.

We can become so enmeshed in the detail that we no longer notice each piece until we are so worn out and worn down they shatter around us. The pieces were never meant to be the focus, yet we become obsessed with the minutiae and lose sight.

To focus on the bigger picture we sometimes have to let individual pieces go. The process can be painful, as we realize that sometimes we must let go of things we love for things we love more.

So what is the bigger picture? Although your picture may vary, we all share five common traits.

1. Time is finite. All of us are given the same 24 hours each day. No one can bargain, pay, or earn more time.
2. We are mortal. Our time on earth will one day end.  We do not have forever but we do have today. 
3. We are human. We cannot do everything and have everything. We try but something will always suffer.
4. We don’t need all the pieces to see the bigger picture. The pieces may change over time.  Some may move to the far end of the board as others take center stage. The big picture dictates the pieces you bring into focus not the other way around.
5. There’s always a bigger picture. Always.

After losing my husband, I struggled with my bigger picture.  Marriage made it easier to stay focused, balanced. It was an anchor of sorts that kept me from drifting too far. As a widow, I took on every piece that came my way without any focus on the bigger picture. 

Life changes – children growing older, job changes or just the process of aging and wanting something different – may shift our bigger picture. Those same changes can also serve to remind us of the bigger picture.

As for my own journey, I learned that my purpose in life really did not change. The core of who I was created to be, do and give to the world is not dependent on a single piece.  With the death of my husband, my pieces shifted but the bigger picture remained intact.

How about you? Do you ever lose site of the bigger picture or purpose? Tell us about it in the comments and anything else that’s on your mind.

by Karen D. Swim

All this month we’ve been talking about moving forward. Last night as I reviewed the events of the day I found myself singing “Ease on Down the Road” from The Wiz. I have not thought of or heard the song in a number of years but it is a happy song and a great road tune.

Unlike the characters in the Wiz, at the end of our road there is something far better than the Wizard. Put on your dancing shoes or if you’re like Brett Legree, go barefoot and sing along as you dance on down the road to your destiny!

Do you have a song that gets you moving down the road?

by Karen D. Swim
Photo Credit: Kimba, Flickr

As the mighty winds blew and the rains beat down, a Father grabbed his young daughter and stood her in the doorway in the hall. With his hand upon her trembling shoulder he looked into her eyes and said, “Daddy has to leave but I want you to stand right here. Do not move, no matter what happens. Her little heart beat faster as she drew strength from her Father’s voice. Nodding her head, she squared her shoulders and stood.

Through wind and rain she stood. Debris scattered around the house and she stood. The storm finally ended and still she stood. A police officer picked his way through the debris and crossed what had been the threshold of her home. Spotting the little girl, his eyes grew wide, “Honey, how did you survive this storm?” The little girl declared, “My daddy told me to stand right here and not move.”

Before we can move forward toward our goals we must be able to firmly stand our ground. Like the little girl, we have to find that place where we can stand with confidence when the winds are raging and the rain is beating on our roof. We must stand when the voices within and around us try to move us to the left or to the right. You don’t have the credentials to do that. That sounds risky, are you sure you aren’t making a mistake. The economy is bad. Be sensible, keep your day job and do this on the side. Yeah, you know the voices. The well-meaning friends who want the best for you. The colleagues who are just trying to spare you from making the biggest mistake of your life. Your own fears, doubts and insecurities. But, before you can move forward you have to learn to stand.

When I got the idea to start my business, I was newly widowed and broke. We had lived off our savings for 3 1/2 years while I stayed planted by my husband’s side. After my husband’s death, I briefly took a job but volunteered to be laid off when the company needed to cut back. Jobless and sorely in need of cash I devoured books from the library on starting a business. I read, took notes, and wrote plans. I dressed in layers, wrapped up in blankets, ignored my growling tummy and excitedly planned the launch of my business.

I was cold and often hungry but I was certain of my place. I was standing firm while the winds howled outside my door. It was crazy to start a business while mourning the loss of my husband and with no money. Why not just go back to my nice cushy job in Corporate and do this on the side? Yes I could have followed conventional wisdom, but I knew where I was supposed to stand and refused to be moved.

I was neither brave nor stupid, or maybe I was a little of both. I didn’t know how I was going to accomplish my dream. I didn’t even know what direction to head. I did however, know where I was supposed to stand until I had the answers.

I am not advising anyone to take the same route I took. I am simply encouraging you to find a place where doubts and fears (yours and others) cannot huff and puff and blow you down. Look within and find that place that you need to stand and then stand firmly. When you do take that step forward, your legs may still wobble but the ground beneath you will not be moved.

What about you? Are you standing firm or being tossed around? What is keeping you from moving forward?