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How Soon Became Yesterday

August 18, 2008 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

No matter how much I have tried to deny it, August is quickly coming to close. This of course means that we are also coming to the end of the summer. Bummer! In the cold of winter, summer seemed so far away. I had big plans for time away and summer fun. Well, it rained for the first part of the summer and now it’s almost over. I allowed my excuses to get in the way of living and now my “soon” has become “yesterday.”

“Opportunities are like sunrises — if you wait too long, you miss them.”– William Arthur War

How often do we postpone living with a litany of excuses? “As soon as my business hits $X, I’ll take a little break.” “When the kids are older, I will ___________,” “In a couple of months when things are quiet, I will…” “I will…..when I lose 10 pounds, get that promotion, blah, blah, blah!” Yet, all too often soon comes and goes and we are left with a bunch of yesterdays and unfulfilled desires. We all know this but why do we continue to do it? Well, I have witnessed (okay experienced) three reasons.

We are unyielding in our quest for the ideal. Often we plan for perfection, and are unwilling to settle for anything less. Will the experience be any less fun if it is not perfect? Will a day at the beach spent with family totally suck because you didn’t lose 2 pounds? Well yes if you focus on the size of your thighs rather than the experience itself. Ideal is incredible but so are the imperfect experiences along the way.
F-E-A-R. Fear! You’re a giant chicken afraid that you will fail. Fear is far more paralyzing than anything that can happen when you try and blow it. If you’re waiting for the fear to magically disappear, you will be waiting till death do you part. The fear does not necessarily go away. You have to embrace it and go for it anyway. This is not to be confused with rational fear. For example you should be very afraid of leaping from a building believing you can fly or standing in front of a moving train. You’ve been warned.
We have lost control of the bus. It is possible to allow our lives to veer out of balance. We concentrate on one area and neglect others. Before you know it the whole thing has gone off course. You look up in a daze and realize your toddler is asking for the car keys, or the vacation happened but you were not part of it. Hit the brakes, pull over to the side of the road and plot a new course. To prevent this from happening, check in on a regular basis to ensure that you make corrections quickly.

The good news is that if you’re reading this post, you’re still breathing (yay!) and there is still hope! So let’s change our wicked ways together. Life is here and now. I may not be able to jump on a plane and fly to Italy today but there are a host of things that are available to me. My pockets are pretty heavy with yesterdays but thankfully I have today.

And now I’ld love to hear from you. Have you ever been guility of putting off something you wanted? How did you get back on course?

Life is Like A Moon Bounce

August 4, 2008 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

Yesterday, my family gave a surprise party to celebrate my mother’s 70th birthday. The first thing I saw when I arrived on the street was the top of the moon bounce peeking over the top of my sister’s house. (A moon bounce is kind of like an enclosed trampoline, except bouncier.) Now this could make things a lot more interesting! After carrying food and flowers to the yard, I chatted and laughed with family as we waited for the birthday “girl” to arrive.

After 20 minutes, I could no longer hold out and placed my high heel shoes next to the row of tiny sneakers and pink moccasins. Heck, they didn’t have these things when I was growing up and it looked fun. While whooping and hollering it up with the kids and my nutty cousin Lisa (who is my age and crawled in right before me) it occurred to me that life is a lot like a moon bounce.

The window of opportunity is sometimes a tiny opening. To get into the moon bounce, there is a tiny little opening at the top of a small ramp. You can’t just walk up and enter the bounce. You have to walk up (without falling off the side) and then propel or slither your way in under a flap that opens just a wee bit. In life, some opportunities are behind the tiniest of doors. They may not even appear immediately visible. However, when you make it up the ramp and shimmy through, you are pleasantly surprised on the other side.

Bouncing on one side causes imbalance. If you bounce on one side of the moon bounce you risk sliding downward. Bouncing in the middle is ideal allowing you to veer a little to the left, or right with no risk of injury. When you bounce on one side in life (such as work) you risk the other things sliding off to the side.

It’s easier to bounce higher once you have momentum. Once you find your footing and are bouncing up and down, it is much easier to bounce just a little higher without much effort. Sometimes in your life you’re on a roll, or a bounce. You have tackled a challenge or completed a major project and your confidence is pretty high. In those moments, it is easy to get started on a new goal or accept another challenge because you are already in the air.

When bouncing around, keep your eyes alert. While bouncing up and down, me and my nephew decided on flips at the exact same moment. Like two unwiedly underwater acrobats, we dove from opposite directions and collided. Luckily, only his hands smacked me in the head as he landed across me. We collapsed in giggles. Sometimes we are going along in life, bouncing around and out of nowhere (or so it seems) an obstacle collides in our pathway. It’s important to keep your eyes open so that you don’t crash!

After moon bouncing, and later being bounced off the ramp to the grass, I was a little less than ahem photo ready. Life can toss you around at times too. You may fall down, and even get smacked in the head, but nothing that can’t be all forgotten with a little cake!

How, about you? How’s your bounce these days? Are you soaring high or tumbling around? What are your tips for staying grounded while still enjoying life?

This entry is a contribution to Robert Hruzek’s August Group Writing Project, Metaphors for Life. If you would like to participate, there is still plenty of time. The deadline for entries is August 10th. Thanks Robert for allowing me to explore the ongoing hilarity of life with this project!

How Will You Measure this Month?

August 1, 2008 by Karen Swim

Image via Wikipedia

Written by Karen D. Swim

“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure – measure a year?
In daylights – in sunsets
In midnights – in cups of coffee
In inches – in miles
In laughter – in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life” –Seasons of Love, from the musical Rent

As I danced around in the gym after my workout singing this song along with the TV, (yes I danced and sang and could care less who was watching!), I considered the question. It is a brand new month, how would I measure it? What would I do with the next 31 days? What would I do with this day and the minutes, seconds and hours that stretched before me? Would my month be measured in smiles or tears? Would I measure it in chances taken or opportunities that passed me by?

Sweaty and winded, and flying high on endorphins I heard the music – the music of life. A heart pumping bass line accompanied by joyful horns that reminded me I was fully, completely alive. I am here in this moment, in this time. Yesterday is gone, but this moment is here. I could waste it with petty worries of things gone wrong, or plans that failed…or I could rejoice in the present.

“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.” — From To the Virgins, To Make Much of Time, Robert Herrick

I have no stinking idea what tomorrow holds but today I intend to live and to live boldly. I will dance in the middle of the gym, laugh at my own jokes and live life at my own pace. This month I will not play it safe, because the same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying. If I take a risk and fall flat on my face, who cares? I will have lived, learned and created another blog post.

Now, it is your turn. How will you measure the month? Be bold, express yourself, the mic is open.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCuMDMGLDKU]

Life Is a “House” Episode

Friend Feeders, Gorgers and Other Tales of Social Media

July 24, 2008 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

Years ago I met a woman named Lisa (not her real name) while doing my civic duty as a juror. After 14 days of being cooped up in a room with a group of people you either walk out friends or never want to see them again! Lisa and I seemed to get along fine. She was around my age and we were both single. We exchanged contact information and agreed to keep in touch.

We got together the following weekend for a movie. She called me later that night, and the next day, and the next day. Well you get the picture. She called a lot to moan and complain. Lisa was what my friends and I called an “energy vampire.”

I had a close group of girlfriends and I was accustomed to having a phone to my ear at least 18 hours per day, but this was not the same. Lisa kept inviting me to do things and I would beg off politely. I stopped returning phone calls yet she persisted.

Finally, I did something uncharacteristic, I was mean. I told Lisa that my quota for friends was filled, and I was no longer accepting new applicants. She tried to argue with me (I mean geez she really was tenacious) and our last conversation ended badly. I felt guilty but cleansed.

Social media networking has become a little like Lisa. I love connecting with other people but lately have found myself wanting to draw the line. I get stock LinkedIn invites from strangers or advertisements masked as an invite for things I neither want nor need. People leave self-promotional ads on my profile page and then spam me with invites to join everything from the Bombay cooking school network to support groups for people who don’t like the color green! And please let’s not discuss the creepy Facebook applications!

Now, I am not saying that I don’t want to connect with diverse people (diverse, not creepy) but try connecting with me where I already hang out. Let’s exchange pleasantries before you then shoot me invites to 20 other places to which I don’t belong. I love LinkedIn and it is one place where having a large network comes in handy. However, can you at least customize the invite beyond the stock invitation (yes you company of people who have been mandated by HR to befriend everyone on LinkedIn). Now, if I already know you I could care less about the stock invitation, but if you don’t know me at all how about a little bit of effort?

Social networking has been great for me personally and professionally. I love the Skype talks with Roland, and my Gtalk chats with Daniel Smith. I enjoy my twitter buds and blog comment buddies (ahem that would be all of you) . I can check out of Plurk for weeks and come back to insightful questions from Jane Chin and intense discussions on social media led by Her Royal Fierceness, Connie Reece or Mack Collier. Yet I am joining the legions of people who are beginning to re-think the concept of open networker. So be warned, if you send me an invite in a language I don’t understand or a picture of you in your underwear, I just may tell you that I’m all out of friend spots. Perhaps Lisa is available.

Are you an active participant in social media? Has your approach changed to how you add friends?

Do You Trust Your Instincts?

July 23, 2008 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

The other day I stood in line at an office supply store. It was hot, humid and I was in no particular hurry to leave the air conditioned store. As I waited to pay for my purchase, I turned my attention to the customer at the front of the line. A woman was purchasing a typewriter. I was initially struck by the sight of a typewriter being purchased. I often spot them in offices where people type forms (yes some forms still need to by typed!) but never really noticed them brand new in the store. As I scanned the box, I tuned in to the woman’s conversation. She was questioning the return policy, which was 14 days.

She asked the cashier, who truly seemed baffled by the question, if the 14 day return policy was a recent change. The woman seemed bewildered that she would only be given 14 days to decide if the purchase was right for her. After a 10 minute exchange she paid the cashier and left with her new typewriter.

As I walked to my car, the woman looked at me as she loaded the purchase into her car. Smiling she asked if I had overheard the exchange. She explained that she needed to type real estate forms and her daughter thought she could scan the forms and fill them in but they weren’t sure. She made the purchase just in case but was astonished she would not have 30 days to return it if she chose not to keep it. We chatted for a few moments about her purchase and her business. I wished her luck and headed to my car.

I thought about the woman’s dilemma and wondered how often had I made an investment in something “just in case.” How many decisions did I make hoping they had a return policy?

The woman bought the typewriter but without wholly believing, it was the right solution (which by the way was the right decision). Her questions belied that she hoped the solution would not be needed. She handed over her money but a part of her hoped to get it back. How often had I done the same with my money or time?

I believe something within the woman told her she would need that typewriter. Yet, like many of us, she followed the instinct but held on to her doubt. Afraid to trust her own decision, she wanted an exit strategy, a safe way out in case she was wrong.

“A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.” ~Rita Mae Brown

Life does not always hand us neat little return policies. Often we must simply choose a course of action and trust that we have made the right choice. Sometimes we will be wrong. There will be no return policy and we may lose something – time, money perhaps even credibility. We can research, question, analyze and agonize but eventually we will simply have to decide. Pick a course of action and see it through. You may fail but you may also make the right choice, just like the lady with the typewriter.

Have you ever struggled to trust your decisions? How did you learn to trust your own instincts?

The Sun Always Rises

July 18, 2008 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim, Twin Suns Photo by Gracey courtesy of morguefile.com

Twin Suns

“Man cannot command the sun to rise nor the stars to shine
In the darkest of days life will go on with or without you.”

These words echoed in my soul during a particularly difficult time in my life. I was overtaken by a sorrow that I thought would never lift. My days were lived in a fog of grief, and my visibility was limited to one step at a time. It was during this period, that I arrived home one night and exited my car. As the door closed I felt my eyes pulled toward the sky. Stars twinkled against the inky blackness in a brilliance so blinding I had to blink my eyes. I stood by the car staring into the night sky amazed that the stars were there. How could they twinkle when my heart was breaking? How long had they been there without my notice?

And so it was that my healing began. The next day I noticed sunlight on a leaf. My world once again expanded beyond my broken heart. My tears soon turned to fond remembrances. My eyes once again focused on something other than me.

We all go through difficult times. Sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure, life and death. It is the cycle of life which teaches our hearts to revel in the joy of what is good and strengthens us to withstand what is hard. Yet, I have learned to take comfort in knowing that “this too shall pass.” When I doubt, I only have to look up to confirm that life is indeed going on.

This post is my contribution to Liz Strauss’ 25 Words of Work/Life Wisdom project. If you would like to participate, it is open to all. The deadline is July 19th.

So what saith you dear reader? Do you have words of wisdom to offer? Please feel free to share whatever is on your mind. Comments are open and refreshments are free. 🙂

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