Written by Karen D. Swim
The other day I stood in line at an office supply store. It was hot, humid and I was in no particular hurry to leave the air conditioned store. As I waited to pay for my purchase, I turned my attention to the customer at the front of the line. A woman was purchasing a typewriter. I was initially struck by the sight of a typewriter being purchased. I often spot them in offices where people type forms (yes some forms still need to by typed!) but never really noticed them brand new in the store. As I scanned the box, I tuned in to the woman’s conversation. She was questioning the return policy, which was 14 days.
She asked the cashier, who truly seemed baffled by the question, if the 14 day return policy was a recent change. The woman seemed bewildered that she would only be given 14 days to decide if the purchase was right for her. After a 10 minute exchange she paid the cashier and left with her new typewriter.
As I walked to my car, the woman looked at me as she loaded the purchase into her car. Smiling she asked if I had overheard the exchange. She explained that she needed to type real estate forms and her daughter thought she could scan the forms and fill them in but they weren’t sure. She made the purchase just in case but was astonished she would not have 30 days to return it if she chose not to keep it. We chatted for a few moments about her purchase and her business. I wished her luck and headed to my car.
I thought about the woman’s dilemma and wondered how often had I made an investment in something “just in case.” How many decisions did I make hoping they had a return policy?
The woman bought the typewriter but without wholly believing, it was the right solution (which by the way was the right decision). Her questions belied that she hoped the solution would not be needed. She handed over her money but a part of her hoped to get it back. How often had I done the same with my money or time?
I believe something within the woman told her she would need that typewriter. Yet, like many of us, she followed the instinct but held on to her doubt. Afraid to trust her own decision, she wanted an exit strategy, a safe way out in case she was wrong.
“A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.” ~Rita Mae Brown
Life does not always hand us neat little return policies. Often we must simply choose a course of action and trust that we have made the right choice. Sometimes we will be wrong. There will be no return policy and we may lose something – time, money perhaps even credibility. We can research, question, analyze and agonize but eventually we will simply have to decide. Pick a course of action and see it through. You may fail but you may also make the right choice, just like the lady with the typewriter.
Have you ever struggled to trust your decisions? How did you learn to trust your own instincts?
Roland Hesz says
I should go by instinct, I learned it the hard way, yep. Sometimes it’s just a trade off, like the project right now.
If I have a gut feeling it’s more likely to be correct than not.
And can’t go away without picking at the “only 14 days” return policy.
What would she do here, where she has only 3 days and ONLY if she can prove that the typwriter is broken?
You bought it, you keep it. No ‘changed my mind’ thing. 14 days should be more than enough I think.
Karen Swim says
E, you just have wonderful powers of persuasion that er work on you too. LOL! 🙂
Ellen Wilson says
I used to not listen to my intuition or instinct, and then I learned. My problem is I can convince myself that something MUST be a good idea, and then I override the whole process.
Karen Swim says
Steph, oh my you are so right! It’s tough when you have choices and wonder if you are settling too quickly or if it is the right decision. I’m glad you’re getting a big return on your quick decisions. 🙂
Alina, that is such a great attitude! You are so right we can take comfort in knowing we took decisive action. Ha! Those long view decisions are the hardest and you’re right the doubts can come and keep coming. 😉
Karen Swims last blog post..Friend Feeders, Gorgers and Other Tales of Social Media
Alina Popescu says
Hi Karen,
I as well have some issues deciding what to do in tricky situations. Once I decide something, I usually trust myself. Even if I’m wrong, at least I tried changing something that was clearly bothering me.
The major issue is with decision made for let’s say 6 months from now. Even if it’s a great decision, it’s a log time to let doubts in 🙂
Steph says
Karen: This is a great post. I’ve been teaching myself to trust my intuition, my gut, whatever, more and more. I have to work hard at this because I’m terrible at making decisions in certain situations, afraid of regret or of missing out on something better.
Lately, though, I’ve been practising making swift decisions, seemingly impulsive. And they’re turning out to be the best ones. Napolean Hill said those who are most successful are the ones who reach decisions promptly and change them slowly, if at all.
Stephs last blog post..Change of Scenery
Karen Swim says
Friar, I’m glad you paid attention! I bet at the time everyone thought you were nuts but I have learned from not listening to just trust that voice!
Melissa, okay the previous owner sounds like a sweet soul too! The truck, the mac, yep your voice is always right. 🙂
Melissa Donovan says
About nine years ago, I needed to buy a new vehicle. I wanted a little truck because I moved around a lot back then. I searched and searched and then finally found a unique ad. Older truck but with very low mileage and so well cared for, the owner actually logged each time he put gas in it. This sounded well and fine, but it wasn’t until I drove up to the seller’s house and saw the truck sitting there that I just had the feeling and whispered to my mom, “That’s it. That’s my truck.” I just knew, and from then on I have easily been able to recognize my intuition when it speaks to me. It’s always right.
Friar says
When I’m faced with a tough decision, I always listen to that “Little Voice” deep down. Even if logic dictates otherwise…
For example, at the end of my PhD, when I really NEEDED to find work, I went through a series of intensive interviews and was offered a job working in my field, at a paper mill in Georgia.
You’d normally think, “Hey, GREAT!”
But I wasn’t jumping for joy. Instead, my gut feeling was saying “Awwww….shit! ”
Couldn’t put my finger on it. But it just seemed WRONG. The interviews, the way they treated us..the location. It was just WRONG.
So I turned down the job.
In retrospect, I’m glad I did. A year later, I heard what happened to the other job candidates who did accept. They were treated like crap. I’d have been miserable.
That’s just one example, but my rule of thumb is to always listen to my gut feel is telling me. It’s rarely wrong.
But I wasnt’ juum
Friars last blog post..Bob Dylan is Messing With Us.
Karen Swim says
Andrew, you have a great analytical mind which is a tremendous strength. It enables you to challenge and inspire others to think through decisions. However, I do understand the other side of that strength is a tendency to fall into analysis paralysis. Do you have a trusted person that helps when you’re stuck? How do you balance that strength when it comes time to make a decision?
Robert, lol! Oh yea, in the wisdom of Mrs. MZM, a disaster is still a great blog post! LOL!
Lillie, oh my goodness! I am so glad that you are recovered and able to share your talents with the world. Your story is a good reminder why we should heed that still small voice. Thank you so much for sharing that Lillie.
Brad, you raise such a great point! A spouse can provide a wonderful balance that helps us in our decision making. In my marriage I was the one who hated shopping, and was extremely practical. I researched, analyzed and headed to the store to get exactly what I came for and no more. My husband encouraged me to have a little fun once in awhile.
Brad Shorr says
Karen, My wife and I are about as opposite as two people can be on this score. I’m an impulsive shopper, almost never afraid to trust my instincts (maybe because I just want to get the shopping over and done with.) Left to my own devices I’ll often buy stuff that turns out sub-par. Left to her own devices, my wife will analyze the details of every purchase six ways from Sunday, and still only buys reluctantly, much like the woman you described in your post. The nice thing is we balance each other and most of the time wind up doing a reasonable amount of research and making good choices. I think we understand and respect each other’s strengths as a buyer, which has enabled us to get through life so far without having to suffer the consequences of our weaknesses! I feel for that poor woman – “buyer’s remorse” is bad enough when you’ve made a great choice. Maybe she has a good support team at home.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..What’s Your Ideal Writing Weekend?
Lillie Ammann says
Karen,
I learned to trust my instincts years ago. My chiropractor moved away, and I found another one that was very convenient in location and office hours. Somehow I never felt quite comfortable with him but told myself I was just comparing him to my previous chiropractor who was so good no one else could compare. The chiropractor who made me uncomfortable twisted my neck and caused a stroke. Since then I trust my gut.
Robert Hruzek says
Love the chart – especially that bottom decision diamond… 😀
I think this is related to our innate desire for security (despite the fact that life simply isn’t that secure). Sometimes, decisions are irrevocable no matter what (like opening the wrapper on that CD that turns out to be trash).
But still, life often gives us ways to make ice cream. 50 years from now, that woman may be able to sell that typewriter to a museum for big bucks!
Robert Hruzeks last blog post..The Boy Who Would Be King
Andrew says
Karen,
I can’t say that I relate to the problem of trusting decisions already made, but I do have a problem with getting to the point of making a decision.
I have an awful habit of being wishy-washy prior to making a decision, meanwhile, someone else has already made their decision and acted upon it.
Cheers
Andrew
Andrews last blog post..Ambush marketing – smart or unethical?