“Oh there been times that I couldn’t last for long
But now I think I’m able to carry on
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”
–Lyrics from A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke
I no longer care about rules. Challenge has a way of breaking you free from the self-imposed prison of expectations and lately I have had my share of challenges. In recent weeks, I have been brought to my knees in ways I never thought possible. It seemed to start with a small rumble, no real damage done just a little shaking but progressed to the walls crumbling in on me. And it is there that I have knelt in the rubble fighting to hold on with every fiber of my being. I am not writing this post from a place of self-pity and my purpose is not to whine about life. Yes, I know it’s a business blog and I should be sharing useful information or cheering you on with inspiration but all of that is meaningless if I am not honest enough to say “Sometimes life is hard.”
I understand intimately how chirpy platitudes can cause your teeth to grate when you are in the midst of a struggle. You want and need something more than an ancient quote or a pep talk. I get it. The other day I read one of those syrupy goodness updates and had the urge to throw my keyboard through a window.
Yet, I am also aware that the right word at the right time can lift a downtrodden head and give you the courage to hold on for a just a while longer. I have not lost my faith or optimism, in fact without them I would have been done in long ago. I just want you to know that we all struggle but it is not forever. I have had days where I fell to my knees with big fat crocodile tears rolling from my eyes but the tears soon dry and I get up and get back in the fight, and you can too.
This post is not for everyone and some of you will think I’ve lost my head. Today this may be for one person who is struggling and wondering if it will ever end. Yes, it will. I am not through with the present battle but I have lived long enough to know that this too shall pass. Sometimes it matters more how you go through the challenge than what is on the other side. Most importantly, know that you are not alone. We have all been there or will be there.
karen says
Hi Aaron! Your words mean the world to me, thank you! I have really come to enjoy your posts and yes I too am guilty of sharing, discussing but not always commenting. I am happy to say that sucky times don’t last forever. 🙂 Yeehaw!
karen says
Andrew, you are a good friend and I am glad to report it is well with my soul! Your insights are so compassionate and wise beyond your years, part of what makes you such a great friend!
Thank you Drew!
karen says
Debbie, I applaud your honesty. You are right when we are facing tough challenges or having a bad day, a healthy dose of realism is much appreciated. It is important to allow authenticity, be supportive and not judging but also helping the person not to get stuck. I know that I am personally much more open to solutions after I have just “let it out.” If you ever need a safe place to have a sucky day, I’m here for you. Hugs!
Debbie Yost says
Karen,
As a mom of a child with special needs, I can really relate to this! Being a mom is a challenge in and of itself, but add special needs to the mix and it is a whole new ballgame. You can no longer go to your typical support system, because they just don’t understand. They can try and they can sympathise, but they really don’t get it. Sometimes when they give you comments of encouragement you just want to scream at them. Sometimes you just have to vent. I read many blogs of parenting Down syndrome and in our effort to be an activist for our child we seem to make it all sunshine and roses, but it’s not. That’s why I often try to write about the challenges on my personal blog (http://www.my3weddings.com/), not for a pity party, but to let other parents know they are not alone. As one of my commenters recently put it, we can’t always be waving the “Down Syndrome Rocks” flag. 🙂
Hope things get better for you soon.
.-= Debbie Yost´s last blog ..Math Teachers =-.
Andrew Heaton says
Karen,
Thanks so much for sharing.
This may be a business blog, but we are your friends, and I am glad that you choose to share your times of weakness and difficulty with us as well as your thoughts in your more uplifting moments.
Whilst chirpy post at the right moment have their place, every single one of us experiences times when we feel downright awful, and a lot of the time, it gets beyond what a simple upbeat pep talk can fix.
I hope you are able to work through your current situation. Given the belated nature of this comment (sorry about that) it is quite possible that by the time which you will be reading this, you will be feeling better already. I hope this is indeed the case. But if not, please know that like many of my fellow commenters, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
P.S. Great song – I love Seal!
.-= Andrew Heaton´s last blog ..You Tube: Google should not have to screen every video =-.
Aaron Hoos says
Karen,
Like you, I hate the syrupy platitudes that feel more like Hallmark than heart-felt.
Life is hard, it downright sucks sometimes, and we make the very best of it anyway.
In the past months I have come to appreciate and look forward to your blogs (even if I don’t comment as often as I should) and I will look forward to a time — not long from now — when your shining, smiling blogs will reflect the better times that are just around the corner.
All the best!
.-= Aaron Hoos´s last blog ..Client Spotlight: KMGI =-.
Jeanne Dininni says
Just noticed the typo in my previous comment. If you’re able, perhaps you wouldn’t mind changing “pose” to “post” in that comment and deleting this one. Thanks! 🙂 If you’re too busy, no biggie. It will be one of my lessons in letting go of perfectionism! (Hard to do, isn’t it?) 😉
Jeanne Dininni says
Karen,
Though I’m late commenting on this pose, thanks for sharing these words of wisdom and optimism. Your honesty is refreshing and can definitely help encourage someone else who is going through a difficult time. Praying that all goes well for you and that life returns to normal–or better–soon!
Love,
Jeanne
Heather Villa says
Everything only lasts for a season. Remembering that is the best way for me to get through troubled times.
You’re a survivor. Plain and simple. 🙂
.-= Heather Villa´s last blog ..I’ve Joined a Cult! =-.
Conor says
Thank you Janice. ‘Angels in the architecture’ made me stop today 🙂
Your blog is among my favourites. Refreshment.
Conor
Janice Cartier says
( beautiful , beautiful words Conor )
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..Small Inquiries =-.
Conor says
Karen,
Your words have chased away many clouds and revealed many new stars for me.
You create beauty and truth from the darker moments. That is a gift. You are a gift, and you are cherished.
I wrote this today, the end of a song I thought would never be finished. I think it’s apt:
‘The lights in the sky bring healing
The blankets of stars dance in time with the moon
My heart falls in tune
Knowing that their love will reach me soon’.
Conor
Janice Cartier says
Here….go with this for a while…..much love,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAeJXbufNw4
..angels in the architecture when the going is hard….
and yes…you can call me Al.. 🙂
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..Small Inquiries =-.
Joanna Young says
Karen, the way we know who our friends are is simply that we know they are there for us. And I know you are x
.-= Joanna Young´s last blog ..7 Ways to Stay Connected to Confident Writing =-.
Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirations says
Karen,
Just wrote a post about the Lone Ranger. Luckily for you, you will never have to be him. You are surrounded by people who love you, who hold you up in prayer and support and would gladly give you the shirt off their back if they knew what you needed.
It’s never wrong to share that we are real, authentic human beings who struggle, who get down and need a helping hand sometimes to be lifted back up.
Besides,It is when we are at our weakest, poured out on the ground, that real miracles have the opportunity to show themselves. Hang in there, to you and everyone who needs to hear Karen’s words.
Light comes after the darkness.
.-= Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog ..The Tragedy of the Lone Ranger =-.
Fred H Schlegel says
Hi Karen, The measure of most people is not how well they do when things are fine, but what they do when things are not. I’m not sure what problems you are facing but I wish you well. For me, breakthroughs have often come when I gave up worrying about what the world would think and focused simply on what I needed to do. It can be a miserable feeling but there’s usually strength for that, and friends to help. Take care.
.-= Fred H Schlegel´s last blog ..Is The American Dream Dead? =-.
Karen Swim says
Robert, Amen! A little wobbly some days, nearly toppling on others but standing. I appreciate you more than you know, thank you Robert!
Karen Swim says
Keith, you are so right, and I’m all too aware that many are hurting. Thanks so much for the kind words and I am definitely hanging in there…some days by the tips of my fingers, but not letting go! 🙂
Karen Swim says
Lillie, your prayers are gratefully appreciated. Thank you, really thank you dear one.
Robert Hruzek says
Hang in there, Karen, and know you’ve got many friends who lift you up in spirit! I’m reminded of Paul’s admonition to the Galatians: “…having done all, to stand…”
We’re with ya, my friend!
.-= Robert Hruzek´s last blog ..The Spaceman =-.
Keith Davis says
Hi kare
Sorry to hear that things have been a struggle recently.
Your comment “I have lived long enough to know that this too shall pass” is probably all that most of us have when the going is tough.
The “credit crunch” has given many of us a very big headache with job security a thing of the past.
Hang in there, hang in there.
.-= Keith Davis´s last blog ..Practice, practice, practice… =-.
Lillie Ammann says
Karen,
Your honesty and perception and generosity are inspiring. Praying that your difficult time passes quickly and the other side brings all good things.
.-= Lillie Ammann´s last blog ..Scripture for the First Tuesday in Lent =-.
Karen Swim says
My dearest Joanna, your presence is always a comfort, and your words today surround me like a hug. I too am here for you. I have felt like such a bad friend of late but I really am here. xo
.-= Karen Swim´s last blog ..Hard but Not Forever =-.
Joanna Young says
You haven’t lost your head.
It’s your ability to mix honesty and truth with courage and optimism that makes you so special, and convincing.
If there’s anything I can do in any way to help… just let me know x
.-= Joanna Young´s last blog ..7 Ways to Stay Connected to Confident Writing =-.