Written by Karen D. Swim
“Give me ten more,” the trainer said. The woman eyed him with defiance, “That’s enough, I’m tired.” I watched with mild curiosity as trainer and client engaged in the proverbial standoff. He with a tinge of weariness responded, “You can do ten more. If you want to lose the weight you have to learn to push yourself.” She rolled her eyes, dug in her heels and argued. I briefly caught the trainer’s eye and we exchanged a look of understanding. It is hard to help someone change when they are addicted to being right.
The woman was morbidly obese, so clearly her way was not working for her. Yet, when faced with expert help, she rejected it in favor of her opinion. Like any addict, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
You want to lose weight but you disagree with all the nutrition and exercise advice offered to you. You have been laid off and hire someone to write your resume but argue with them over every comma and period. You have started a business but pooh pooh the advice from long term business owners on marketing.
However, you’re not difficult. You have to be true to yourself. You know what works best for you. So tell me, how’s that working out for you?
Have you been able to succeed by continuing to do it your way? The truth is you’re afraid – afraid to admit your weakness, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding. Your fear has you locked in your comfort zone of defeat.
I get it, I really do. If you take the expert advice and still fail, what does it say about you? Your inner critic is telling you that it marks you with a scarlet letter as a bozo who could not make it work. Tell your inner critic to tak e a hike, because he/she is wrong. It says that you are a person who desires change and is willing to seek out help to achieve it.
Consider this, you have nothing to lose. You are not giving up success for potential failure. You are letting go of failure for a potential solution. You took one step by asking for help, now take one more by accepting it. The choice is yours. Hang on to your excuses as you tumble down the cliff or grab hold of the rope and begin the journey upward.
Have you ever found yourself needing help but resisting change? How were you able to finally break through? Questions, comments and feedback are warmly welcomed as we all learn and support one another.