Written by Karen D. Swim
I closed my eyes and visualized the ebb and flow of the ocean. In my mind’s eye I was transported to the familiarity of the Pacific standing at ocean’s edge watching the tide rise and fall. Seagulls flew overhead and the air seemed to rock with the rhythm of the ocean. I breathed deeply as the cool breeze caressed my cheek with its gentle song. I stood firmly in the sand that shifted with each new wave, sinking deeper as I struggled to remain upright.
Opening my eyes, I shook my head and returned to the ebb and flow of my life. The day had started easily enough but then the phone call had come. Hospital…stroke…now recovering….it will be okay. A violent reality followed by words meant to comfort but seemed only to float beyond my reach. The truth of my tenuous relationship with my family, the worry, the questions invaded my thoughts causing my body to feel the weight.
As life threatened to pull me out with the tide, I dug deeper, determined to hold on. The world beneath me shifted but still I stood.
The night meant to bring rest was filled with tossing and turning. Dreams that taunted me to discover their meaning, faces from my past, sadness threatening my peace of mind. My mind determined to overcome, my legs kicking me awake. I lay quietly in the stillness of the night, the air heavy with anxiety.
At 5 am resigned to start the day, I padded from the bed with swollen eyes. Time for a run to clear my head and prepare to fight the battles of the day. Stepping out into the morning air, I was engulfed with warm air that seemed to swirl and hang before sinking into my skin. I stood still as I waited for confirmation that there was at least a bit of morning coolness. I tilted my head and saw the blue sky and fluffy clouds with patches of dark grey. I sighed as I took off. Let it rain, I would survive. I always have.
How do you manage the ebb and flow of life? Care to share? The conversations are always welcomed wherever they take place. 🙂