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  • June 9, 2023

When Change Meets Resistance

October 22, 2009 by Karen Swim

Cincinnati - Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum...
Image by David Paul Ohmer via Flickr

Change is a funny thing. As fervently as we embrace it we seem also to have a natural resistance to it. It’s scary, yet exciting;  we need the new yet often cling to the familiar. If each of us possesses this natural love/hate relationship with change, imagine how it impacts the people in our lives.

Change very often makes the people around us uncomfortable. The overweight spouse who embarks on a health overhaul, the needy sibling who begins to take charge of their life, the quiet colleague that becomes bold about contributing ideas and standing up to peers. All of these changes can provoke chaos in the surrounding environment.

While you may be embracing change as growth and forward momentum, those around you may see it as a threat to their position or relationship with you.  Ultimately, it’s not your change they are really resisting but how that change will affect them. They respond by trying to defend against the “attack” to protect their own comfort zone.

Those who fear change may unintentionally sabotage your growth.  That resistance can sometimes derail your good intentions.

In business, I  have personally watched leaders hindered in their growth by the fans that surrounded them. New ideas and behaviors were shot down in an effort to “protect” the leader from making mistakes. The leaders remained stuck in patterns that no longer worked encouraged by loyalists who were afraid that change would leave no room for them.

So, how do you balance the complexity of change without alienating everyone around you?

Acknowledge that not everyone will grab their pom poms and cheer the new you. Change is hard! Be sensitive, but firm in your desire to grow.  As I pondered these thoughts on Facebook this week I noted that there are those who may be left behind. I was struck by the very wise words of Kevin Buck which sums it up beautifully:

“As you walk with integrity and a prophetic voice, the community you attract shifts with your transformation.”

Yes, you may lose some people along the way but your transformation will attract new people who will be aligned with who you are and more importantly who you are becoming.

When the resistance is from loved ones, reassure them of their place in your life.  People that love you will come around in their own time and in their own way.

The important thing is to be true to yourself and your calling. While our human nature may resist change, without it we will wither and die.

Have you ever encountered resistance to change? How did you handle it?

Filed Under: Business and Career Tagged With: Leadership, personal growth, transformation

Rip the Veil or Close the Blinds?

September 30, 2009 by Karen Swim

“On one hand access to more is terrific, more info, more options, more entertainment, more flexibility, fewer gatekeeping restrictions….. on the other hand, access to more is like a train wreck of distasteful and tacky come to town, hell bent on leaving it’s mark and lifting its skirt…a lost weekend of things we just really don’t need to know…but some how…watch anyway…”–Janice Cartier

The conversations around transparency have been rich with examples and thoughtful insights. As Janice Cartier, so colorfully observed, a little too much transparency can make us all blush with shame even as we continue to watch in abject horror.

For some this kind of transparency has become a brand that they have leveraged with success. There are many who put it all on full display, and continue to command attention, while others lose position when we get even a peek behind half closed blinds.

A butterfly (Greta morgane) with transparent w...
Image via Wikipedia

It is clear that there is no universal standard for transparency. We want to pull down the curtain and see the wizard in certain areas and in others we’d rather continue to believe in magic.

In The Transparent Leader, authors Herb Baum and Tammy Kling address transparency in business. They share case studies and successes from companies that developed an “open culture.” Transparency did not equate to “telling it all” but honestly communicating at all levels about issues related to the company. The book acknowledged that business leaders must balance that openness with a certain amount of filtering.

Heather Villa shared how she filters her own open communication:

“I won’t talk about my religious beliefs, my political views, my intimate relationships, or anything else highly controversial or personal. I believe those types of discussions are meant for your immediate family (if not completely personal) and is ‘too much’ transparency.”

Heather is a business owner active in social media. She shares business and personal information but has wisely developed filters for her transparency. In her case, she realizes that too much transparency can be polarizing and may damage current and prospective relationships with customers.

From those in positions of power, we demand a higher standard of excellence. We take joy in the glimpses of transparency but if the blinds are opened too far we lose respect for their position. We like to think of them as “everyman” or “everywoman” but we don’t want them to prove it.

“We have all the tools to publish what happens at every moment in our lives, but we lack the wisdom and experience to edit all that rough draft and make something interesting.”– Jamie Grove

“…airing our dirty laundry to everyone is a little dangerous, and possibly a little over-indulgent.”–Conor

Jamie and Conor aptly point out that exercising a little editing with our transparency is wise. We really don’t have to tell it all. We can tell what is relevant, and even share a little that’s not, but exposing it all can be dangerous and alienating and as Conor noted a little over-indulgent.

Fred Schlegel offered a chilling reality: “Since there really is no way to limit what is public about our lives, we must put in place rules on how the more powerful entities use that info. Sorry to get all George Orwell on ya, but the public info is just the tip of the iceberg.”

Perhaps some believe that they will take charge of the illusion of privacy by ripping down their own veil. I know what’s behind that curtain and I’m determined to hang on to the false illusion of a little mystery for as long as I possibly can.

Does the amount of information shared change your level of respect for a person? Is the boundary the same for everyone or does it depend on other factors?

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Filed Under: Business and Career, Marketing Tagged With: business insight, Leadership, open culture, transparency

Vision or Lie?

May 4, 2009 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

Ron entered the building right on time for his appointment with Neal. The office was modern with a coolly detached vibe. After giving his name to the receptionist, he was directed down a long hallway to a spacious hallway with a large oak desk. After exchanging pleasantries, Neal and Ron got down to business.

Neal, told Ron that their company had moved to the state and would be renovating 60 homes per month. Ron liked Neal and the process he laid out. An hour later, Ron walked out with the specs on the first job, which he would start in two days. The economy had been challenging and Ron was afraid he would have to lay off a few of his guys. This contract could not have come at a better time.

Over the next few weeks the jobs came in starts and stops, not the steady flow of work Neal promised. Ron could not keep his crew on hold for days at a time so he opted to take other jobs. He went in to pick up his check for the last job with every intention to speak to Neal. He ran into the Project Manager, Andy in the parking lot. Andy shared that he was leaving the company and opened up to Ron about the promises that were never kept. It was then that Ron learned that Neal had presented a vision of where he wanted to the company to go and not the reality of where the company was today.

Like many business writers, I am often invited to take on jobs for companies promising lots of steady work. Inevitably, the company wants to leverage that promise for a lower rate. 

“Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.” – Jack Welch

There is a great deal of focus these days on having a big vision. We are told to put our faith in action by changing our mindset and language. I completely agree that we must fix our minds on what we want and rid ourselves of self-limiting beliefs BUT we must be careful when we recruit others to our vision.

When hiring employees or contractors, it is important to present the reality and allow each person to make their own choice. To present the vision without the reality is a lie. Contractors plan their accounts receivable based on billable hours, just as employees plan their budgets based on income. It is unfair to ask someone to set aside billable time when you cannot deliver on your promise. 

“I think there is something, more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.”– W. Clement Stone

Many will believe in your vision and will be willing to take the risk with you. However, do not be offended by those who are unwilling to take the risk. Respect the right of everyone to make his or her own choice.  

Have you ever unintentionally misrepresented your business? Were there repercussions? Have you ever signed on for a vision that did not match reality? How did it make you feel?

Filed Under: Business and Career, Inspiration for Business Tagged With: business, business decisions, business vision, entrepreneurs, freelancing, Leadership

What I Learned from the “Why Girl” and How It Can Help your Business

November 25, 2008 by Karen Swim

But Why?

Image by Liquid Lucidity via Flickr

Written by Karen D. Swim

Years ago, I had a colleague who we nicknamed “The Why Girl.”  It was not one of those mean, behind the back nicknames whispered in the corner by the water cooler, she knew and embraced our good natured ribbing.  She earned the nickname because in every management meeting, you could count on her to ask “Why?” When presenting her own points, she would give you her list counting them off 1, 2, C (because she always forgot if she was counting down numerically or alphabetically – yes we found it hilarious!). I liked “Why Girl.” Questions force us to examine our own beliefs and opinions, and in doing so renew our own understanding.  One of the best ways to learn is to teach.

I think of “Why Girl” a lot these days as I question actions I have taken for granted and explore new paths. The exercise has opened my eyes to things I do without thinking that may befuddle others. It has made me take a step back and examine business processes – Why did I set it up this way? Is this intuitive for customers? Why did I word this message in that way? Is it easily understood? Is email most efficient for this communication or would it be better to call?

When children ask “Why”” it can be annoying. We may tire of explaining and become exasperated when we can’t explain something that we just accept as true.  Yet, are colleagues and customers silently asking “why?” Are we exasperating them with our lack of answers or unwillingness to even listen.

Social media enthusiasts risk not asking “why?” and assuming that everyone knows how to  (fill in the blank) or that everyone understands why. In truth, only a small percentage of your population may understand “why.” Believe it or not there are still many people who are not even comfortable with email let alone other social media tools. It is important not to become so entrenched in your comfort zone that you isolate those who may not be where you are yet.

Or you can dig in your heels and decide that they need to figure it out because after all the future is here. You could do that … but it would be a big mistake. A willingness to ask why provides you an opportunity to lead. When you not only understand but are willing to show others the way you  will achieve far greater results than simply following the “in-crowd.”  Taking a step back to examine, and question may lead you to discover an unmet need.  Identifying an unmet need is an opportunity to fulfill that need in the market, and to take a position of leadership.

The truly cool kids are not just moving from one shiny toy to the other, they’re taking it apart, banging it against the wall, and merging it with different parts. They’re not only asking why” but also “What if?” If you are wiling to challenge, examine and question you have an opportunity to do and be great. In my mind that’s a much better position than simply standing in line waiting for someone else to figure it out.

Have you asked “why” lately in your business or personal life? Were you surprised by the answer? Feel free to share your comments, opinions or questions. Discussion is welcomed and encouraged.

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Filed Under: Insights, Social Media Tagged With: Business process, Leadership, Social Media

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