life challenges | Words For Hire

Hard but Not Forever

February 23, 2010 by Karen Swim

“Oh there been times that I couldn’t last for long

But now I think I’m able to carry on

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”

–Lyrics from A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

I no longer care about rules. Challenge has a way of breaking you free from the self-imposed prison of expectations and lately I have had my share of challenges. In recent weeks, I have been brought to my knees in ways I never thought possible. It seemed to start with a small rumble, no real damage done just a little shaking but progressed to the walls crumbling in on me. And it is there that I have knelt in the rubble fighting to hold on with every fiber of my being. I am not writing this post from a place of self-pity and my purpose is not to whine about life. Yes, I know it’s a business blog and I should be sharing useful information or cheering you on with inspiration but all of that is meaningless if I am not honest enough to say “Sometimes life is hard.”

I understand intimately how chirpy platitudes can cause your teeth to grate when you are in the midst of a struggle. You want and need something more than an ancient quote or a pep talk. I get it. The other day I read one of those syrupy goodness updates and had the urge to throw my keyboard through a window.

Yet, I am also aware that the right word at the right time can lift a downtrodden head and give you the courage to hold on for a just a while longer. I have not lost my faith or optimism, in fact without them I would have been done in long ago. I just want you to know that we all struggle but it is not forever. I have had days where I fell to my knees with big fat crocodile tears rolling from my eyes but the tears soon dry and I get up and get back in the fight, and you can too.

This post is not for everyone and some of you will think I’ve lost my head. Today this may be for one person who is struggling and wondering if it will ever end. Yes, it will. I am not through with the present battle but I have lived long enough to know that this too shall pass. Sometimes it matters more how you go through the challenge than what is on the other side. Most importantly, know that you are not alone. We have all been there or will be there.

Planted in Adversity, Harvested in Hope

April 6, 2009 by Karen Swim

: Image by Waqas Ahmed via Flickr

Written by Karen D. Swim

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The imagery of the desert is often used to symbolize adversity or those seasons in our life when we are challenged from every angle. The dry, scrabbly land and unforgiving climate aptly describe how we feel when we toil for answers and receive no harvest in return.

In the desert, relationships change. Just like the sun, welcoming in fair weather but becoming a fiery enemy in the desert region, searing your defenses with its white hot rays. You are forced to slow your pace, to measure your steps and adapt to the land like the prickly cacti that conserve their own water to survive.

“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” –Arthur Golden

Yet, both adversity and the desert, difficult and unkind on the surface can bring forth a beauty unequaled in “milder” climates. In the desert you tap into your source of inner strength as you still the confusion and tune into the silence that surrounds you. Like the cacti, you draw from your inner well to nourish and sustain you. You no longer drink arrogantly allowing the liquid of life to spill to the ground and evaporate but savour each precious as it revives and restores you.

In the inky night sky of the desert the stars are at their most brilliant. And in the darkness of challenge, it is our faith that lights up the sky shining brighter than ever before.

I have never willingly planned a vacation in the land of adversity but I will admit to learning my greatest lessons while there. I have been scorched by the desert sun and momentarily been fooled by the mirage of false hope. I believed that I would perish in the wilderness and the vultures would feast upon my carcass. It was in the darkness of those moments that water poured from the rocky land nourishing me and giving me hope that I would find my way home.

When I finally made my way to the end of the desert path, I looked back to see the dry and rocky land covered in a field of sprawling wildflowers,strong, untamed and free.

It is said that adversity is the best teacher, do you agree?

This post is an entry in the What I Learned from Adversity group writing project. The writing project is open to everyone and if you’d like to contribute, the deadline is midnight April 12th.

Coming Soon to Theaters Near You

April 2, 2009 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

“First of all, I choose the great [roles], and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don’t come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.”–Michael Caine

When an actor auditions for a role they are often given a scene to play. The tiny slice of dialogue taken from the entire story may cause the actor to ask, “What’s my motivation?” As things change around us we may feel as though an unseen director has handed us a new part. Thrust into a role with which we are unfamiliar with nothing to guide us we long to know, why we are here and what’s driving our character.

I felt this way for much of March. What had worked before was no longer the solution. I tried out for different roles and very often did not get the part. At the end of the month I found myself longing for that invisible director to call “CUT!” already and put an end to my awful performance. Where were the stage directions? Where was the background? Who was I supposed to be and why was I here? If it were up to me, I would write new dialogue and cast someone else in the part. It was then I realized…it was up to me.

We do not always have creative control over the entire story of our life, and while that may sometimes be frustrating, it is a good thing. (Seriously, think about some of the boneheaded decisions you would have made if you had complete control over everything.) However, we can take the scene and create our own motivation. We can improvise dialogue, change the direction and make the part our own.

I not only decided to own the part but take full producing credit. My motivation is living the life I want to have without fear or apology. It means that I will take the stage each day and give the performance of my life even if no one else is in the audience. I will take risks and be ready to own the good and bad reviews. I will not use a stage name because I want people to know the real me.

What’s my motivation? I am. To live my life to the fullest and own my purpose and potential means refusing to be an extra in the scene of my life. I don’t have to audition, the part is mine and the time has come to deliver or go home.

So here I am finding my motivation and stepping to the stage. Rehearsals are open door and performances are free, so come on in, grab a seat and enjoy.

Have you ever struggled to find your own motivation? What actions did you take?

“Life’s like a play; it’s not the length but the excellence of the acting that matters.” — Seneca

Climbing the Rough Side of the Mountain

September 29, 2008 by Karen Swim

Image via Wikipedia

Written by Karen D. Swim

There is an old gospel song called “Rough Side of the Mountain.” The song is older than I am and has been sung by many artists. At odd times, the song comes to me (the Mahalia Jackson version) and I sing the chorus (I’m coming up on the rough side of the mountain) like a funeral dirge. It was not until this Saturday, however that I saw the song and the rough side of the mountain in a completely new light.

I was 4 miles into a treadmill walk. My shoulders slumped and my spirit was dampened. An injury had forced me to walk rather than run which in my mind completed my humiliation. All week my body had betrayed me. Weird, scary things had happened that made me begin to think of big, scary things like mortality. Up until last week I had felt like I was only 44 and suddenly I felt like the oldest 44 year old on the planet.

As I walked, I could feel my thoughts growing darker and I was sliding fast into a deep dark pit. I could feel the hole growing larger, swallowing me bit my bit when something snapped in my head. I realized I could choose whether I was on the descent or the ascent. (Don’t ask me what caused the snap, not sure but the mental image of a cane was perhaps the thing that freaked me out). I could see myself as getting older and deteriorating or I could use this as my base and get better.

So, I mentally slid to the base of the mountain. If I took myself down to level ground, I reasoned, I would no longer be sliding down but climbing back up. (Take that dark and twisty thoughts!). I stood up straighter and began to feel the fire slowly returning to my belly. Now it was time to climb the mountain. Mahalia Jackson’s song began to play in my head (no singing out loud this time) and that’s when I got the epiphany.

If you have to climb a mountain, the rough side is actually much better than the smooth side. Now, I’m no mountain climbing expert but the times I have found myself trying to climb up or down one, the task has been far easier on the rough side. The smooth side is slippery with no way to control your movement. You have to create spaces for your feet and it’s hard to control your movements. The rough side, however, has nubby little patches and craggy spots that allow you to grab hold as you climb up or down. The big craggy spots even allow a resting place should you need to catch your breath.

All those years, the song that seemed so sad and depressing became bright and shiny. Oh yea, I was choosing the rough side. After all, it was the smooth side that had allowed me to fall so quickly into the pit. I need those rough patches of grass and rocks to help me climb to the top. I need a little grit under my boots to help propel me to the summit. Yes, on the rough side, your hands may get a little scratched and your body will need to work hard but when you get to the top you will be stronger for the journey.

I left the big scary things at the base of that mountain, and began to climb slowly but steadily up the rough side humming a happy little tune along the way.

Now it’s your turn. Have you ever reevaluated a long held belief or assumption? What impact did it have on you?