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  • June 20, 2025

Facebook, the Illusion of Privacy and Loud Mouth Quitters

May 21, 2010 by Karen Swim

Facebook logo
Image via Wikipedia

Sigh. I was not planning on writing a post on Facebook although I have been sharing extensively on the issue. Still, I was not going to step out on my own and say a word until Brad Shorr and Joanna Paterson double teamed me. Okay, they did not intentionally double team me. Unbeknownst to one another both published posts yesterday on Facebook. Both, in their typical style, examined the issue and offered honest, balanced opinions. That however is not what prompted me to write, no it was a comment by Brad on Joanna’s post that reminded me of my social responsibility to educate others on a key issue that is in fact in my area of expertise. Sigh.

So, is Facebook evil? I cannot pretend to know the hearts and minds of the Facebook team but in a word “no.” Like Joanna and Brad, I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. To be fair, I also love-hate email, twitter and coupons. Welcome to my world. Yes, Facebook has convoluted, unbelievably complicated privacy controls, and I take my stand with others seeking a change, but evil is pushing it in my opinion.

Privacy online is a myth. I learned this years ago when we had nothing more than email and bulletin boards. I sent a “private” email to a recently fired colleague. My “private” email ended up as “evidence” in my friend’s lawsuit against the company. A simple gesture of kindness, and solidarity sent “privately” was in fact discoverable. The lesson stuck and 9/11 pushed it deeper.

If you want private, don’t share it. I am not excusing Facebook’s privacy policy but we should be clear that our words and actions are rarely private. Do you use reward cards, credit cards or buy any products or services? Do you have a driver’s license, social security card or insurance? Do you live in a place that has public cameras (street lights, security cameras)? Information is collected about us all the time and used in various ways to monitor and/or predict our behavior.

Yet, the platforms we use also have a responsibility in making it easy for us to manage the flow of information. This is the “hate” part of my relationship with Facebook.

There are those that will diligently plow through the information, read the policy carefully and take precautions. Others will ignore or tune out the hubbub and continue to play Farmville, chat with friends and post funny pictures. Still others will protest loudly and lead an army of people to quit altogether.

The people who will ignore the warnings are largely the “real people” that brought many of us to Facebook in the first place. You know the people who don’t live in the social media echo chamber, are not opted in to a million lists and simply take the web and its content at face value. Yea, the people we marketers salaciously went after once we discovered they were on Facebook.

I find it hypocritical that “we” descended upon Facebook in droves and happily took advantage of the freedom to grow our networks and market our careers, products and services yet we now spit venom at the “evil ones” for daring to actually collect and use that information.

Again, this is no defense of Facebook’s policy but perhaps we should take the plank out of our own eyes before we remove the speck in our brother’s eye. We created this with our sharing and connecting. Did we really believe that a free tool would not see an opportunity to monetize our actions?

I am all for protesting to make things better and safer for everyone. I am joining the one day Facebook black out and I will continue to loudly add my voice to others urging for change but I will not cry foul and leave entirely. We have a responsibility to protect ourselves and I believe our communities. So, I will continue to love-hate Facebook but I will not blame them for a monster we collectively created.

How about you? What precautions do you take online? What are your feelings about online privacy?

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Filed Under: Social Media Tagged With: Facebook, Online Communities, Privacy, Security, Social Media, Social network

Let’s Connect – Maybe

May 11, 2009 by Karen Swim

The velvet box inside the box that was inside ...
Image by simonech via Flickr

Written by Karen D. Swim

The invitation arrived in a velvet box tied with silk ribbon. Inside the box atop dupont silk was the quirky greeting inviting me to join the party.

Excited to meet new friends, I dressed in my best party clothes and showed up on time. I tapped on the door holding my invitation in one hand. No one answered so I gently pushed the door and it swung open. “Hello” I called out softly. I stepped in and as my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that I was in a narrow waiting room of sorts. There was a gated door and a small table to the right.

I walked toward the table and picked up a plain white sheet of paper that read, “Please fill out this form to be invited to the party.” I dropped the paper on the table. Was this a joke? I was invited to apply for entrance to the party.

Inviting someone to connect with you on a social media platform and then blocking entrance is no different from this party scenario. Choosing to have your Twitter or FriendFeed stream protected from the public is a legitimate choice. Social media platforms are an excellent way to connect with work teams, friends and family. You can share real time updates, photos, links and files on an easy to use platform that allows group and one-on-one discussion without the hassle of email.

Iron Gates
Image by BGLincoln via Flickr

A private stream for private purposes is a smart use of technology. However, many are inviting strangers to participate in their private stream. Well, sort of. The internet is wonderful but privacy concerns are real and everyone should exercise caution in the amount of information that is revealed. However, if you are going to network, it is difficult to open the door and then slam it shut when someone attempts to reciprocate.

I have worked with many clients who have had to overcome their concerns about privacy and transparency in order to participate in social media. Some joined and lurked a bit before fully participating; others jumped right in and over time grew comfortable with the “personal” conversations. Still others network as they do in real life, all business with nothing more personal than an occasional comment about traffic or a lukewarm latte.

I am not a fan of issuing rules around social networking. It is not one size fits all. You will use the tools to fit your purpose and personality. However, if you are considering the “kind-of, sort-of” model I have described here then be prepared for others to refuse to play.  If you really want to connect and you’re a little shy, just stand next to me, I’ll hold your hand and introduce you to my friends.

How do you balance networking with privacy? Any tips to share with new networkers?

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Filed Under: Social Media Tagged With: Add new tag, Privacy, social media etiquette, Social network

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