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  • June 15, 2025

Blogging, Life and Gasping for Air

April 22, 2014 by Karen Swim

Oxygen mask

To start writing again, you just have to write. Pretty simple advice but it’s true. Today feels like as good time as any to just write. As I sat down to write the typical blog post, you know the one with nuggets of wisdom, and how-to do that thing you don’t know how to do, this post was standing in the way. Yes, that post – the one you’re never supposed to write on a business blog because of branding, image and all that jazz. Luckily for me I’m not chased down my paparazzi or swarmed by swooning fans that care about me maintaining an “image.”

This year was supposed to be an epic new chapter in my life. I turned 50 in January and was looking forward to a year of celebration and joy. Days before my 50th birthday, I learned that my youngest brother (who shares my birthday month) was ill. Life quickly spun into research, treatments, hospitalizations, sleepless nights and many, many family phone calls. This is in the midst of running a business. By February, I was exhausted but accepting of the new normal. In March my brother died. Even as I write this my stomach drops.

My brother’s service was on a Friday and I went back to work on Monday. Big. Fat. Mistake. I was so afraid that if I took time off things would fall apart. So I continued to work with a heart so heavy it felt like a second person. One sleepless night after another, I got up in the morning and convinced myself that I could soldier through until things really did start to fall apart.

I was off my game but too sad and exhausted to do anything about it. I fell behind schedule and worked hard to catch up but I let other things slip like business development. With two clients winding down I learned a third was cutting their budget. Ugh. All normal stuff in normal times but disaster when you are the working wounded. The last bit of bad news shocked me back to life. Not what I would have chosen, but hey it worked.

On the other side of depression, I now see how unwise it is to care for others without caring for you first. We’ve heard it so often – put on your own oxygen mask first. I’ve said it countless times to harried entrepreneurs and over extended friends and yet I allowed myself to get into a position where I was gasping for air. So, I’m writing this post as a declaration of my own healing and a precautionary warning for all of you.

I worked out of fear and but the thing I feared happened anyway. It would have been far better if I had allowed time to tend to my needs before trying to meet the needs of others, even if is my business. I won’t allow myself to fall for this lie again. I am a person of faith but in this I acted like a spindly coward who could not let go and trust that it would all work out.

In the end, it is all working out and better than I could have predicted. So today I take another step (a long meandering one, but thanks for indulging me) into my new future. I can’t promise daily posts but I am happy to be able to just write, regardless of the frequency.

Have you ever forgotten to put on your own mask? I’d love to hear your comments, because we’re all in this together!

Filed Under: Inspiration for Life, Public Relations Tagged With: blogging, Small business, work-life balance

Are You Working Your Life or Is Your Life Work?

September 23, 2009 by Karen Swim

Last night I read Want to Be Successful, Stop Trying So Hard on BNET by Steve Tobak that began:

If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re driven by achievement and success, at least to some extent. Well, some of the most career-oriented, success-minded individuals drive themselves too hard and become their own worst enemy. I’m not talking about work-life balance; I’m talking about how your drive can become toxic to your career.

Thankfully, I have not become my own worst enemy but I am all too aware of how easy it is to upset that balance. How many of us know that guy or woman for whom work-life balance is non-existent?

The post goes on to describe how the author had his own wake up call that transformed his life and career. He learned to let go and as a result his career soared. Tobak woke up before he destroyed his health and marriage. The only collateral damage was a job loss, but that was enough for him to make a real life change.

As I read, I wondered when did our lives become about career. We wish for more hours in the day so that we can  get more work done. We give up sleep and time with our friends and family for our career. Is our life’s purpose work or is it life?

I am all for career happiness and spend a great deal of my working life helping leaders create happy work places and employees find those places, yet I am aware that life is so much bigger than our job title.

We have 168 hours in a week. Today, many people see the 40 hours per week as light, with many working 60 hours or more. Assuming that we work 40 hours, and sleep 42 hours per week, we have spent half the week on those two activities alone. This does not even count the amount of time some spend actually commuting to and from a job, or spending off time on work tasks (conference calls on vacation, emails before you get to the office).

With our precious remaining 86 hours per week, we must manage the other details of our lives such as children,  families, health, nourishment, cleaning and errands.

I am a realist.  Life cannot be all fun and games (or so they tell me) but it would be a revolution if we decided to take back more of our lives. My guess is that we’d actually get more done in fewer hours if our lives were in balance. We’d sleep and eat better and spend time with people who nourished our souls. With energized bodies and refreshed minds, there would be no limit to what we could accomplish.

At least that’s the way it plays out in the fantasy of my own mind. Maybe I cannot convince the world to chill out but in this I can lead by example.

Are you with me?

Speaking of career, I’m doing a twinterview (twitter interview) with Rick Ceciltoday at 11 am EST. Rick will be asking follow up questions to the interview he did with me a few months ago that ran this week.  If you’re not too busy working, please stop in and tweet with us. 🙂

Filed Under: Business and Career Tagged With: career, life balance, work-life balance

Love is Not on My List

February 5, 2009 by Karen Swim

Written by Karen D. Swim

Kolapore Ski Trail Through the Pines
Image by Bobcatnorth via Flickr

This week I sent a message to my LinkedIn connections.  I am not one to clutter email boxes and in the many years I have been on LinkedIn have never sent a group message. However, I realized there were so many people in my network with whom I never connect. I sent a message thanking them for being part of my network and wishing them a happy month.

One of the responses filled my heart with sadness, although offered tongue in cheek, for it revealed what is reality for so many people.  In part it read:

I have got into my office as usual, and normally I am so busy I can’t be bothered to check out the numerous messages I get which often have no relevance to work.

AND, you’re right, in a months time we celebrate LOVE……good old Mr Valentine. The subject that most of busy people don’t put enough thought into.

Kindest,
Signature removed for privacy

P.S.  Yes, I hope my blinking February IS filled with lots of love!

In a month that finds Joanna pausing to enjoy working in the garden, Robert walking hand in hand with Mrs. MZM, Ulla twirling through the muse yard,  and Friar zig-zagging down the slopes I find it sad that some are missing out on the small moments of life.

Are you like Amy who will abandon the wash to dance in the meadows? Or are you far too busy checking things off your list to engage in a bit of frolic? I could offer the trite retort that “life is too short” but you already know that don’t you?

If you’re happy filling your days with lists, tasks and work, then rock on but if you’re not….stop…look…listen…feel…live.

Are you living life or is it living you?

Thursday Love List

  • Wake Up Call, Amy Palko
  • How Do You Say Goodbye? Alex Fayle
  • Water for Elephants: A Novel

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Filed Under: Insights Tagged With: life, work-life balance

Rocking the Sunshine Spirit Year Round

July 30, 2008 by Karen Swim

Cities such as Asbury Park, New Jersey inspire...Image via Wikipedia

Written by Karen D. Swim

Have you ever noticed how every season has its own rhythm, its own unique flow? Summer with longer days and warmer weather has an upbeat but casual rhythm.  Rays streaming through the window in the morning are energizing, encouraging you to get up and get moving. However those same rays during the work day can be distracting as they beckon you to come out and play.

This week Ellen Wilson wrote about “the flow.” For many achieving flow in summer is a challenge because of the various distractions. For others, the combination of fun and work is exactly what is needed to achieve flow.

In summer we tend to lighten up. From clothing to food to reading choices, we shed layers and allow ourselves to have a little fun. Many of us find ourselves playing hooky in  summer to take a stroll, go for a run in the park, play a few holes of golf, or go to the beach. We give in to that little voice that says “Let’s play!” We take vacations with the family, visit amusement parks, and have impromptu backyard cook-outs.  It is a season when we achieve what eludes us during most of the year – balance.

Summer is the perfect time of year to regain a more balanced life and schedule. We can let go of the language that holds us captive in other seasons – “I must,” “I should,”and “I have to” change to “I can,” “I get to,” and “I choose to.”  It is a shift that would serve us well all year.

Imagine being faced with a looming deadline and an invitation to attend a Springsteen (insert your performer of choice here) concert where you will have front row seats and backstage passes. In your non-summer language you might say “I can’t, I have to meet this deadline.” Ah, but it’s summer, so instead your internal voice says, “How can I find a way to meet this deadline and go to the concert?” By changing your language, your brain now fixes on solutions and you are empowered with the freedom to choose.

We all respond better when we are in the position of making a choice rather than having one forced upon us.  The good news is that you can rock the power of sunshine year round by adopting a mindset of choice and balance. Your Monday Morning blues can become Monday Morning Choose. You hop out of bed (or rise slowly if that’s your thing) equipped with the power of choice. You can either “get to” go to work or “have to.” The choice is yours.

What about you? Are you able to maintain a healthy balance year round? Does summer mean more playtime for you? Feel free to play and chat in the comments. 🙂

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Filed Under: Inspiration for Business Tagged With: choice, summer, work-life balance

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