Written by Karen D. Swim
Yesterday while driving through the city I listened to a talk radio program. The host of the show has a question of the day which listeners call in and answer. Yesterday the question posed was “What would you tell your younger self if they stood before you now?” Many of the callers spoke of time and money wasted, and dreams unfulfilled. Some answers were poignant and others downright hilarious.
As I listened to their answers I thought of my own answer to that question. My answer is one that I speak to myself regularly: “Your choices determine your results.” Yet, even as I silently answered, unlike many of the callers I do not look back on my past choices with regret. I am the sum total of my experience – good and bad. All have combined to gift me with the wisdom and insight that I have today. I am happy to own all of me, good, bad, and ugly.
In my mind the better question is what will you say in 1 day, 1 week, 1 year or 10 years? Your choices today will determine tomorrow’s results.
Today, we have dreams and goals, big and small that we want to attain. Some are short term and others will require a longer term effort. Yet, we often fail to align our actions with the results we want to achieve. How can you get in shape if you never exercise? How will you publish a book if you don’t spend time writing? How will you get married if you never date?
I have been guilty in my life of really believing I wanted something. I may have said it out loud, written it down, prayed on it and claimed it as my reality. Yet when I look back I realize I failed to take the steps that would actually deliver the results! Does it mean I did not really desire it? Or was I just really stupid? Honestly, in some cases it may have been a combination of both and in others I allowed those twin towers of Fear and Doubt to cloud my vision.
There have been times that those famous towers cast a wide shadow preventing me from seeing clearly. I was moving in a direction but it was not the one that would lead me to my destination. I would love to tell you that once you have bulldozed these nasty buildings you will never see them again but that would be a lie. Architects of destruction have sneakily erected them along your entire journey. They do not always look the same but they share the same characteristic, they test your faith and exist to keep you from moving forward.
If you are in that place right now, I am happy to tell you that there is hope. You see those towers lose their power when we identify them. Once we label them we can tackle them to the ground, whether alone or with support. When we call them by name we dare them to continue to stand in the way of our progress. They no longer loom over us but shrink as we laugh at their folied plot.
Today, as I look ahead I am determined to say that I lived, failed, and succeeded without fear and without shame.
So, let’s talk! Have you ever allowed fear and doubt to stand in your way? How did you overcome them? Please freely share your thoughts, opinions and ideas in the comments. The mic is open and it’s your turn. 🙂
Melissa Donovan says
All the time. I think we all have to choose which doubts and fears we want to fight to overcome. I also believe that some serve to protect us or keep us from something that we’re not yet ready to do. Or maybe that’s just the fear talking 😉
Melissa Donovans last blog post..Slam Poetry Links and Resources
Karen Swim says
Meryl, I missed that episode but really like the show! Yes, I am always amazed at how dumb I feel when I can’t recall things that I learned in grade school! I’ll have to search for that episode and catch it. By the way, around here off topic comments are welcomed. Come hang out anytime! 🙂
Meryl K. Evans says
Off topic here, but I couldn’t help notice “The Scream.” That was a big question last week on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” I never watch the show, but Georgia’s Superintendent caught my eye and I had to watch it. She was playing for three state schools.
The question asked the title of the above famous picture. She said that was painted after World War I because of the events that followed. But it wasn’t. It was painted in the 1890s. The superintendent was upset that she had her timing wrong (I thought it was cute).
She was the first contestant to win a million! It was great and she deserved it. She was a history teacher for 15 years, so that background helped.
Amazing what you pick up from a show like this that makes most of us feel stupid. Yes, I’ve forgotten many of the facts.
Back to your regularly scheduled topic.
Karen Swim says
Steph, I have been inspired over the past few months as I have watched you wrestle those towers to the ground. Your words are truly wise ones to live by.
Evelyn, lol! Our younger selves were too headstrong to listen to reason. In fact, I bet today our voices sound an awful lot like our parents!
Alex, I am so glad that I was able to be a hitch on your train to the sunshine! Isn’t it wonderful that when we are having a tough time, we are so often greeted with exactly what we need to hear. Your words have lifted me through tough days, I am so happy I could return the favor today. Go out and bask in that sunshine Alex!
Alex Fayle says
Karen:
I’ve been in a funk today and I’m amazed at the number of posts that have picked me up. Yours is one of them. I fully believe that life is all about choice and just this morning I was hanging out in the shadows of Fear and Doubt.
I’m now going to go step out into the sunshine and plan my marketing so that when I feel the shadows looming over me I can go do something and find the light again.
Cheers,
Alex
Alex Fayles last blog post..Trapped in the Day-to-Day: Urban Panther Interview Part 1
Evelyn Lim says
I’m wondering if my younger self will listen to my advice now: don’t party and drink so much, stop moping for the last ex, divert time for personal development and spirituality and find your passion.
Evelyn Lims last blog post..An Enchanting Vision From My Angels
steph says
Fear and doubt. Totally on my list, with a bunch of other things, of things to let go. It really is amazing how much we hold ourselves back from being the most we can be.
If I could tell my young self anything now, it would be this:
Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
Karen Swim says
Wendi, oh honey your words were a gift! I want to share the post so that others can benefit from your awesome insight and encouragement!
Hi Natural! It’s so nice to see you here. I loved your post yesterday! I love your last line “if we want better we have to do better.” It’s so true isn’t it?
Joanna, I love that insight! Oh goodness, blessed are the young who have no idea how rocky the road. LOL! How true that if we do not do it our own way, it does not work out. I am still tiptoeing, skipping and stumbling but in my own sweet way. 🙂
Joanna Young says
Karen, aren’t you wonderful? Thanks for these inspiring thoughts.
I think what I’d say to my younger self is that it’s a rocky old road – much rockier than you could imagine – and that the only way to traverse it is *your* way. Whenever you try and follow someone else’s path things will end up going wrong, and you’ll need to go back and start again. Which is a good learning experience 🙂 but not as much fun as tiptoeing, crawling, dancing, skipping or running your own sweet way.
Joanna
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Free Your Business Writing: Guest Post at Word Sell
Natural says
this is sooo true. money spent and time wasted. i wish someone would have told me something about my choices, but i didn’t have that…i learned a lot by watching, but no one really sat down and gave me the real deal.
i totally agree and this is what i “preach” Your choices determine your results.”
if we want better, we have to do better. we have to learn to make better choices.
Naturals last blog post..Butt-to-Gutt Ratio Gone Wild
Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirations says
Karen,
Those are two towers I would love to see torn down for good!
But you are right, keeping them down is part of our daily task sand what we allow in our mind, body and spirit determines how fast the bricks of those towers are built back up again around us.
It takes a proactive approach, a diligient awareness and determination to keep on top of this and I don’t know a SINGLE person who can claim to have walked a straight path on this one.
I know I have several valleys in my lifetime ( I enjoy thinking of them as learning experiences) that I have climbed out of with the help of family and friends at my side.
There are tools, Positive reading, attitude,goal setting, action steps, faith,there is the committment of like-minded friends and family at your side…but in the end I think it is the small day to day consistencies that will make the difference. The little promises that you keep that build up over time that will build the different towers of CAN, WILL and BELIEVE.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..Giving Back to the Givers