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Dubious Deception and other Corporate Tales

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Written by Karen D. Swim

Today’s post is a bit of departure from the usual fare. It is a story and yes it’s true but all is not as it appears. Put away your scarlet letters and put on your cloaks of creativity. Play along and I’ll provide the answer at the end…or at the very least a clue.  🙂

It began with a glance across the room, a small spark of interest ignited, as though we had a mutual secret. Soon I invented reasons to be in the same place my heart churning with each hushed conversation. It was all innocent really; I was not cheating, it was just talk. My new “friend” was interesting and seemed to awaken long forgotten desires.  In “his” presence, I felt like a giddy schoolgirl. I blushed with each new discovery and even my failures to understand delighted me. Each moment of our time together was seared in my memory with snippets spilling out at odd moments beckoning me to come back for more.

I began to look forward to our meetings. You made me feel wanted and alive. I was a little afraid of how I felt but then reasoned that it was only harmless flirtation, and no cause for concern.

But of course the infatuation grew and I took the next step. I left that first day with a furtive glance over my shoulder. How could I have allowed this to happen? Consumed by guilt I returned home. Unable to look my love in the eye, I took a deep breath and got to work.

That night I thought of my wandering ways. Yes, I strayed but it was only that one time. It would not happen again, I wasn’t even good at it! How could I possibly think that anything would come of it with so many experts surrounding you.

I felt guilty but strangely satisfied by my tryst. I stretched and smiled secretly wishing for another chance. But then I saw my commitment out of the corner of my eye, peeking from the pages of my calendar and I was consumed with a new wave of guilt. Oh gosh, what had I done?  You have stood by me in the darkest of hours, providing for my needs. You kept a roof over my head and fed me those soy dogs I love so much. I don’t want to let go but lately our time together has been so, well routine.

I was feeling unappreciated and taken for granted.  But my flirtation gave me a new purpose. I feel important and needed.  I even like “his” friends. I love hanging out in their forums and chat rooms and listening to their discourse.

I don’t want to hurt you but I had to come clean. Actually, my flirtation is a good thing. It has renewed my enthusiasm for you. No, no don’t cry I won’t leave you entirely but I have to admit you are going to have to share me and I know that might be hard.

Clue: I am me but “him” is deceptive.
Clue 2: This is a totally G rated post, pure as the driven snow.

It’s Friday, and time for a little fun so play along by sharing your best guess in the comments. Remember it’s G-rated. I promise to tell all in the next post.

Meme Mashup

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Silly Rus'

Image by FL4Y via Flickr

Written by Karen D. Swim

I was tagged by the uber talented Ann Handley a few weeks ago for a meme.  Ann is the Chief Content Officer of Marketing Profs, a sought after speaker, a masterful storyteller and one of the nicest people you will ever meet.  Ann did a twist on the meme and shared journal entries. I was delighted to comply with Ann’s request so I searched for something interesting to share about myself. I came up with…nothing, so l procrastinated. Weeks passed and the meme swept through the blogosphere picking up friends along the way. The delightful Kellye Crane picked it up and sent it my way, and now the task is 7 things.  I can’t ignore two of my most favorite people in the world and as Amy Derby hilariously wrote, “I’m doing it now before someone upgrades the request to 101.”

  1. I’ve been tagged twice for this meme, oh right you know that now. I have never broken a bone. I did not steal this from Mack Collier, okay in a way I did because he revealed it in his meme and it’s true for me too. But it’s weird right? Does this mean I’ve played it too safe?
  2. I do a wicked impression of Billy Bob Thornton’s grunt in Sling Blade. It is one of my favorite things to do and sends me into a fit of giggles every time. Oh c’mon you make yourself laugh too, admit it.
  3. I go through periods of loving and eating the same food everyday. My current addiction is veggie dogs. I eat them daily, lunch or dinner, sometimes both. This has been going on for several months now, my previous addiction was cereal (which I still love). No person or animal is ever harmed in my addiction, so it’s all good.
  4. I used Oprah’s list as my anti-reading list. Once I bought a book that didn’t have that Oprah label thingy and I was really upset to discover it was on her list. I felt like I’d been secretly inducted into a club to which I did not want to belong.  I have nothing against Oprah but you know the whole legions of fawning fans thing kind of creeps me out.  Maybe it’s that early encounter with the hippie cult people…
  5. I hate shopping. Not a fan of mall browsing, window shopping, even web surfing. My motto for shopping is get in and get out as fast as you can. The last time I visited a mall was two years ago and I think I broke a record for in and out times. There are exceptions though, I could spend all day (well maybe not all day but a whole bunch of hours) in a sporting goods, electronic or book store.
  6. I can’t take Jamie Foxx seriously as a sex symbol or singer.  I mean, Hello,  the man did make Booty Call.
  7. I watch Everybody Loves Raymond every week night before I go to sleep. I set the timer on the TV because I like to fall asleep laughing. Yes, I’ve probably seen every episode but it still cracks me up.

Well there you have it useless bits of trivia about yours truly. So, now I’m supposed to torture tag someone else. If you want to play along, consider yourself tagged. 🙂 If you just want to share something strange, funny or you know heartwarming in the comments, feel free.

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Sha Na NaNo – In the Key of Thanks

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Written by Karen D. Swim

When I committed myself to National Novel Writing Month (NaNo) I had no idea how it would impact my days. Before the month began, I planned to awaken at 5 am, go for my morning run and then write. By 8 am I would be at my desk and ready to continue on with my pre-NaNo schedule.

My plan fell apart on day 1. 5am came and went but I never saw it. I awakened in a panic at 6:30 am and groggily tried to reorganize my day.  I took deep breaths and fell back on Plan B, write, work, then work out.  By 10 am, I was on to Plan C. Who knew that the first 1700 words would not fly from my fingers in one hour? On Day 1, I had a new respect for NaNo, like running a marathon it was a distance that demanded respect.

I plodded through week one. It was neither smooth nor elegant but I stumbled through. In week two I fell into a groove, still a little sore from week one but the movement was getting easier.   My glee over finding the right gear was however, short lived.  In week two,  every client that had thought of using my services decided to sign me up.  I found myself knee deep in a business feast (no complaints mind you!) with little time left to breathe between bites. My idyllic dreams of luxuriously writing, working and tweeting went up in a puff of smoke. Getting up at 5 or even 6 was out of the question when I was going to bed at 1am.

Man unclogging sewer overflow, Chennai, India

Image via Wikipedia

My phone was ringing off the hook, my days were filled with back to back meetings, and in spite of my persistence my email climbed to over 800 messages.  My father, who is recovering from a stroke was also still hospitalized. I was being pulled in so many directions I felt a little like Gumby.  With only so many hours in the day, I dropped several of my spinning plates. I was tired and found myself crying over cell phone commercials, and falling snow. I was a mess but I was still writing.

In week three, the work kept pouring in but my Dad finally came home from the hospital. I was still on target with NaNo and somehow I had settled into the craziness of my life.  I sometimes forgot to eat and had more bad hair days than I care to share but I made it.

Now, here we are in the final stretch, week 4. I am roughly 4500 words away from goal, and will finish ahead of the November 30th deadline. The words are pouring out so fast that I can’t type fast enough. Business is still coming in and I am managing my customer’s expectations and enjoying the work. I have missed tweeting and blog commenting and visiting with friends.  It has been a wild and wacky ride but in spite of it all, something magical happened this month.

I pushed the boundaries of my limitations and learned that I am capable of more than I believed.  I failed early and often and am thankful for the lessons.  I grew more passionate about all of you. I really missed you and had time to really reflect on how thankful I am to be part of this wonderful blogging community.

Even though I was MIA (missing in action) when I popped my head up in twitter or stopped by your place for a visit, I was warmly welcomed. I got messages of encouragement and support and continued to be inspired by your talent. So it seemed appropriate on this Thanksgiving Eve to say THANK YOU.  You let me in your space, and I don’t take that for granted. You so graciously share your ideas, dreams, and fears. As you learn and grow you help me to do the same. You make me laugh and sometimes make me cry. This blogging thing is so much more than publishing content, it is being part of a community of people. You are my neigbhors and friends and I am just so happy to share space with all of you!

Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving, I am giving thanks for each and every one of you!

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Thankful Thursday

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Thanks to all of you I am definitely not having the Worst Week Ever! This week has been one of the most invigorating, and thought provoking at Words For Hire. Wow! I could not have asked for a better party this week! I sat cross legged as I raptly listened to the thoughtful discussions and friendly debates.  All week I have replayed conversations in my head and your words have fortified, educated and inspired me.

Who needs BlogWorld or Conferences when you can gather everyone in your own living room? Evelyn Lim, Rebecca Smith, Melissa Donovan, Jaden, Janice Cartier, Alex Fayle, Steph Vandermeulen, Alina Popescu, Karen Putz,  and my new friend  Seamus Anthony all popped in this week. Even Amy who has been buried in thesis writing had time to stop in for tea.

You recalled past world events and examined them in the context of the present with comments like this:

“And I think of this: the Aryans were an actual group of people (Indo Europeans) who thought themselves superior to others – it is interesting Hitler used this term for his ideas of the “supreme Aryan nation.” Some archeologist/anthropologists believe they may have started the whole light/dark, male/female polarity thinking in human thought.”–Ellen Wilson

Ulla Hennig shared her thoughts and personal insights on the travesty of World War II and asked the hard hitting question: “And I? What would I have done if I lived through that time? I know what I would have liked to do – I hate fascism – but would I have done it?”

After derailing Wendi Kelly’s thought, Robert Hruzek had this to say: “There’s a great little principle the Apostle Paul wrote once that really says it all, and is applicable to anyone, anywhere. I’ll summarize it this way: Do not blindly accept what you hear; test it for its inherent truth.”

Wendi then offered a wonderful comment which included this bit of wisdom: “This is why I say- and I have pounded this in to my children-you must examine your OWN beliefs and truths and carefully study and examine, never blindly follow no matter how bright or shiny the glitter may glow.”

There was talk of Science from the always Deep Friar mixed with his own unique brand of humor. Kelly who is directly responsible for motivating Nick Cernis‘ new blog, 44 Forks may very well rack up a second credit if Friar takes the bait. Kelly also added a thoughtful take on leadership.

I think that (mad, evil, etc.) leaders with blind followers are neither revealing nor teaching, but bullying, preying on fears and insecurities, and obscuring. By the end of that, the followers beliefs and self-concept have been warped, but they’ve been taught not a thing.–Kelly Erickson

For me, “blind faith” is an oxymoron. I’ve found that to believe – really believe – I must look deeply into an idea, and then into my own heart. I think it’s a lack of faith and an unwillingness to test one’s convictions that lead people to do the unspeakable.–Brad Shorr

For me it’s something to do with taking time, and what happens in it, as it is, rather than trying to impose my will on it. Letting things unfold in their own way, and in their own time. —Joanna Young

Back from his hiatus, Jamie Grove offered this wonderful reminder: “It’s hard to get too tied up in the universe when you laugh at the absurdity of it all.”

Life is beautiful, absurd and wonderful. I hope that you live and laugh well today! I’m off to visit with many of you today. Have an awesome Thursday!

Karen

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Hitting the Pause Button

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TiVo Inc.Image via Wikipedia

Written by Karen D. Swim

This week I have stayed up way too late watching the Olympics and tweeting about it. Yes, I know I can watch it online or even TiVo for watching during waking hours, but I just can’t pull myself away.  Yes, yes I know I too protest China’s human rights policy but love watching the athletes go for the gold! This while I have been ramping up my running miles while trying not to re-injure my ITB, tweaking workouts and delivering the goods for clients.  Needless to say the scales (ooh speaking of scales I should weigh myself) have become a bit unbalanced, so I need to pause real time and reconnect online and off.

So today, I’m taking a blog break. I need to go visit with friends and catch up on posts. Rogue Ink and Write From Home are both back online.  Seriously the blogsophere was not the same without these two talented bloggers. New friends await on Facebook and Twitter. If you’re in any of those places today, come hang,okay? I am also going to spend some face to face time (you know where you talk with a person and not an avatar) with one of my young nephews. I’ll be back tomorrow and hope you’ll join me! Go forth and have adventures… and be sure to come back and share!

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In the Zone

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Written by Karen D. Swim

Robert Hruzek is on vacation and was crazy er nice enough to ask me to guest post in his absence.  Since I don’t want to go down in history as the guest poster who killed Robert’s blog, will you help me out by visiting over there today?  Robert has a great community over there and if you’re not a regular reader , you’re in for a treat. This week he has an incredible all star line-up and I hope in addition to helping me out you’ll visit this week and show his guests some love. I hope to see you at the Zone!