Written by Karen D. Swim
If you really love(d) me. Stevie Wonder sang it, author, Ann Rule wrote about its tragic turn and for centuries pubescent boys have uttered the words to girls reluctant to take the next step.
The phrase, whether whispered in harmless flirtation or thrown down like a gauntlet becomes a veiled threat to defend your proclamations of ardor or risk losing the object of your affection.
Real love, however is not motivated by fear. It does not require us to offer up our values or beliefs for slaughter. Love makes you wanna holler but never forces it.
Love does not force sacrifice but inspires a willingness to give. You arise at dawn to run because you’d rather run in the cool morning air than sleep a few extra hours. You attend a chamber music concert when you’d rather be listening to Amy Winehouse because you love the look that passes over your lover’s face as the music rocks his soul. You compromise your schedule, your willingness to try new things not because you have to but because it’s what you do for love.
So, I ask what would you do for love? Will you follow the muse simply because she beckons or do you view her as an interloper forcing you to the blank canvas? Does the call of creativity leave you breathlessly anticipating what’s next or cringing in fear that you will not live up to its expectations?
Are you willing to meet your lover at dawn to dance among the dew covered trees ? Or will you roll over as your lover sits alone watching the play of colors in the sky as the sun ascends in the horizon?
Will you go off to a job that you hate as your bliss forlornly waves good-bye or will you find a way to be with the one you really love?
Years from now, will your lover neglected and angry ask “If you really loved me….?”
Tuesday Love List
- A Love Affair with Books
- Word Strumpet – Writing Techniques
- Slow Blogging
- Water for Elephants: A Novel
Karen Swim says
Wendi, I agree with you but I have met many women (my age and younger) who believe it’s a throwback to the 50s. I am not ashamed to say that I made sure my dear hubby had a smile on his face coming and going. 🙂
Wendi Kelly- Life's Little Inspirations says
good heavens, I hope its not old fashioned, and I guess..oh well if it is…cause I cook home made meals almost every single day and love nothing more then to know that the freshest food, made with love, is nourishing my family around the dining room table at night.
I own so many cookbooks I could open a library. But to me, that is one of the ways I show love to my family. So Friar, yeah, I guess it CAN be real love.
I LOVE to cook for John. Flickering candle light, cloth napkins, soft music…great food..the whole thing..to me-that’s romance baby….
Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog post..Field Trip
Karen Swim says
@Friar, some would call it out fashion but I loved cooking for my man. I am not one who thinks of cooking as a hobby but I enjoyed making meals for the man I loved. 🙂
Friar says
@Karen
If a woman wants to impress me and want’s to “bond” with me, she just has to cook me a great meal.
Even though intellectually, I know that’s not necessarily “love”. On some primal level, I’m a total sucker for that kind of thing. 😉
Friar´s last blog post..4 Minutes and 22 Seconds of Down-Time.
Karen Swim says
@Janice, ah such a picture you paint that has me sitting back with a mug of hot chocolate thinking about this crazy thing called love.
@Friar, ROFL! Speaking as a woman, there are moments when we would over hot coals for chocolate or walk two miles in the snow for whole grain chips. 🙂
Friar says
“So, I ask what would you do for love?”
Speaking as a guy. Never mind love. You’d be suprised at what we’d do for FOOD. 🙂
Friar´s last blog post..Another Canadian Moment
Janice Cartier says
“Are you willing to meet your lover at dawn to dance among the dew covered trees ?”
Yes.
I am also willing to hang out of helicopters, wade through mud, suffer rejection ….
and still wake up and dance through the dew covered trees.
Lovely , lovely this one Karen.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Right Down To The Wire
Karen Swim says
@Brad, it was funny how this post came to me inspired in a way by a scripture. It made me sacrifice in a different way in that while viewed as sacrifice from the outside the one who gives does not see it as a giving up or a loss but a willingness born from love, intimacy, desire.
You really are a giver Brad and it shows daily. Thanks for spreading love my way today. 🙂
Karen Swim says
@Jamie, it would be horrible to live a life that left no time for love. Sadly, some do not and that is a shame.
@Wendi, I could say so much but…hugging you for willingly sharing your life journey with us and thanking you for that huge heart of yours that constantly shares love.
Brad Shorr says
Karen, A marvelous post, and as Wendi says, very complex. Love is a word we throw around rather freely, but real love is something we feel deep in our souls that changes us in profound ways in how we think and what we do. “Love does not force sacrifice but inspires a willingness to give.” What a brilliant thought! In our “me-oriented” culture, giving is often equated with sacrifice. But when it comes to someone I love – my family, God … I’m thankful for every day I have an opportunity to give.
Brad Shorr´s last blog post..Twitter – The One Stop Social Media Shop
Wendi Kelly- Life's Little Inspirations says
Interesting post, and more complicated then at first glance.
reaching the the second half of my life now, I can honestly look back into the first half and assess the some of the things I have done in the name of love. Some wonderful, some…not so wise.
And, yet, I have to admit, of my own free will too! How often I have been willing to give up all in the name of love.
Now as I get older and more sure of my true self, my values and REAL needs, it becomes easier to say, I will do this- in the name of love…but I will not do that.
Ah…and this is the reason they say that love is wasted on the young. It can be messed up so foolishly..I should know! LOL!
Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog post..Field Trip
Jamie Grove - How Not To Write says
A life less lived is a life unloved…
Fear, doubt, worry, failure. These are the words we use to shield ourselves against the possibility of living, and by failing to live we fail to love.
If your life isn’t about your true love, what is it about? But what are we here for other than to love? What could be more important?
Great post, Karen!
Jamie Grove – How Not To Write´s last blog post..Clarion West 2009: What Is Best In Life?