- Image by paganites via Flickr
There is a growing movement of people that seem to believe that selling is equivalent to the old style peep shows frequented by dirty old men. They’d rather we all hold hands and sing songs around the campfire. I love a good round of Kumbaya as much as the next person but campfire songs don’t pay my bills. Crude of me to say I know, but I am rather fond of the basics of life such as shelter, electricity, indoor plumbing and at least one meal a day.
I am all for engagement, and authenticity but wonder if we have gone overboard. While the way we market and sell continues to evolve, the activities cannot be eliminated. If I listen to this growing contingent, I am never to ask for business and when I do receive it because I played nicely with the kids at camp, I am to perform the work and then apologize profusely for charging for it.
Hogwash. While I am not a fan of ONLY talking about yourself, and pushing your products like a crack dealer on a street corner I am quite passionate about my work. I have clients who are doing amazing things. I love sharing their successes and am honored to play a tiny role in their business. Sometimes I will talk about that. And by golly while we’re singing if you express a need I am going to speak up! (Truthfully, I am more apt to recommend someone else because it’s not all about me!) Conversely, when you speak you can count on me to really listen and hear you.
Where on earth did we get the idea that we should be ashamed to be in business? The energy company never apologizes to me for taking my money, nor do any of the other vendors I pay monthly. Many make me feel good about CHOOSING them and express their delight I am a customer, but apologies? Never. And why should they? These vendors are providing something I want or need. I pay them in exchange for their products and services. We’re all happy even without the campfire songs. The songs are a bonus, either an entry or deepening of the relationship but not required for me to choose to do business with you. What is required is you delivering on the promise, you can sing all you want but in the end if you don’t do what you say it really won’t matter.
I’m cool with not being Facebook friends with my OB/Gyn. We’re quite personal enough, thank you very much. I don’t need my grocery store to follow me on Twitter and tweet me inspirational messages (although I do love coupons and sale alerts).
I love the conversations and friendships that develop via social media but I also have a responsibility to be a faithful steward to my business. This means I have to tell people I exist. I have to make money so that I can keep my economic ecosystem in balance. When I do the work, I also have to charge for it. I will not apologize for billing you but I will work my tail off to exceed your expectations. I will treat your business with respect and look for ways to add value, and I will let you know how much I appreciate you choosing me. I may even sing a song or two with you but I will not disrespect you by apologizing for the transaction.
So yes, let’s keep the engagement, bring it on! However, let us not hang our heads in shame or fear at respectfully engaging in marketing.
What are your thoughts? Is there a happy middle ground? Dissenting opinions are welcomed, disrespect is not so be nice to me and each other. 🙂
Karen, Any form of apologetic approach toward promotional effort or charging fair market value for services is pathetic.
Business is a serious game. You play fairly but you also play to win, and whilst being respectful to others is important, under no circumstances whatsoever does that mean being shy about promoting your offering or charging fair market value.
Good Morning Sunshine! Thanks for the comments! I have walked that road and want to help others who may be struggling with this issue. I think many of us have either been there or are there, and support helps. Now off to read your take on this matter. 🙂
Very insightful article and I completely agree. I’ve always viewed myself as someone who hates sales and wants to help out whenever possible….but you’re definitely right!!
When you have skills/products that are valuable, it’s simply good business sense to charge for them. Took me years to embrace that, but I’m certainly ‘way closer nowadays to that wisdom!
Trish, BINGO! Spoken like a true solo business coach! 🙂 You are so right about the middle ground and I love the comparison to anger. I am finding though that the more I simply speak up the easier it is to find that balance…although I also still slip back into never saying a word. I’m not that great about raising my hand and having eyes focused on me but I’m learning in my own way. 🙂
Hi Wendi! Lol! Wow, today I wrote on FB about one of my “secret services” so you definitely rang my bell! We should all stick together and remind each other to tell people what we do. Truthfully, even those who “know” us may forget a particular offering. I definitely could use the support so if you’re offering I accept! 🙂
Hi Karen,
I agree wholeheartedly.People won’t respect our value one dollar more than we respect it ourselves. Until we can come to terms with our worth, they won’t either and will often take full advantage of everything we are willing to give away. AND…I have learned from experience that the ones willing to gobble up your time for cheap or free are often the most demanding and least fun people to work with in the long run anyhow!
People who expect their time to be valued and respected often understand the value of other professionals’ time and expect to pay accordingly. In fact, they may be suspicious of someone too free or cheap and expect shoddy service or product.
It’s often hard to toot our own horns and put ourselves out there. Thanks for the reminder for all of us. Deb and I are behind the scenes working on our service page right now updating it so that people will be aware of all the services we provide. We know we have some “Secret Services” that we are accidentally not sharing with the world…In real estate we joked and called it being a secret agent.
Well, Secret Agents don’t sell houses and secret business owners don’t sell business. Maybe we can help remind each other!
Karen,
Nail on the head, as usual. I think there IS a middle ground, and most of us have to train ourselves to get there. It’s comparable to a strong emotion like anger, where because we are taught that it’s not proper to express it, we keep it suppressed to be “good.” Then, at some point, we can’t suppress anymore, and we go to the opposite end of the spectrum and end up alienating people because of our horrible behavior. Neither end of the spectrum is healthy; in anger and in selling, we need to learn (either alone or through some kind of effective training) manage ourselves to stay in the middle. Not easy in either case, but necessary!
Thanks for another great contribution to my “thought palette.”
Trish
Lillie, thank you! Your experience and insight have been a huge help to me and so many others.
Hey Conor, thanks for weighing in on this topic! You are so right about free. It is a wonderful thing to give value and truly help BUT there has to be a balance. Early on in my business I suffered from “too nice” syndrome, not charging (yes I did loads of stuff for free) and under charging and others prospered while I was struggling to make ends meet. Valuable lesson that I wish I had learned through revelation rather than experience. 🙂 I am hoping that my honesty will help others who may be struggling to market their business and charge a fair price for their offerings. I appreciate your insights and friendship Conor.
Hey Karen,
Fair play to you for taking this stance. I couldn’t agree more.
It seems the more we give, the more is expected. The “free line” of teasing content, though a powerful marketing tool, seems to render some folks incapable of comprehending that they will need to pay for the rest.
Like you, I’m only too happy promote other people and products I love, but I don’t feel guilty for charging for the services I provide.
Conor
Well-said, Karen. People can’t advantage of products and services they need unless they know about them.
Hey Brad! Can’t wait to read your post! Thank you so much for weighing in and letting me know I haven’t gone completely daft. I am on a mission to help people overcome their negative view of sales and marketing. I am going to need help (that would be you) 🙂
Joanna, lol! I think it’s those vibes that may have made the anti-marketers nauseous! Yes, there is a contingent of people who are blundering it by being too pushy, but there is a happy middle ground. It can be hard to sell yourself, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Just let us know what you need to promote and we’ll do the work for you. 🙂
Absolutely agree with you Karen, though I have to confess I haven’t picked up on those kind of vibes. All I seem to hear is endless messages about how to market and sell better! But maybe that’s because I know I’m rubbish at it 😉
Hi Karen, You are so right and this post is so apt. Strangely, I wrote a post today for next week on the same theme. Social media evangelism is all well and good (you are tops at it), but we should not lose sight of the fact that we’re in social media to make money by spreading the word about products and services that have value. Companies pay us to generate leads, build their reputations, drive traffic to their websites. The means by which we do this is social media. Nobody is going to pay anybody to blow hot air. Far from being embarrassed, I’m proud that I can earn a living from social media (and writing) because it confirms that this work has value. Without the selling component, there’s no value to measure. In addition, I learned something a long time ago from my rather extensive experience as an industrial buyer. Buyers expect sellers to sell. Sure, there’s a right way and a wrong way to execute, but a salesperson who doesn’t try to sell or want to sell is viewed with suspicion or contempt. In short, buyers value selling. So I’m jumping right on your hogwash bandwagon. 🙂