Communications | Words For Hire

: Image by Leo Reynolds via Flickr

Last week I had the honor of being my great nephew’s “special person” for his school’s Special Person Day. One of the many gifts of hanging out with my 4 year old nephew are the precious teachable moments – the moments he uses to teach his Aunt KK the ways of the world.

Understand your audience. My nephew knows the first and last names of his classmates but also knows their preferences and their unique place in the classroom structure. He treated everyone with great respect and gave them his full attention when in his presence (yes, he has favorites, but by golly the kid is a diplomat).

Don’t insult the intelligence of your audience. At lunch we were discussing family members and my nephew’s bouncy little classmate asked, “Is that a boy or a girl?”

He’s a boy.”

My nephew looked at me and corrected, “He is not a boy, he’s a man.”

“Uh, well yes honey, I know, he’s a man.”

“Well if you know he is a man, why did you say he’s a boy?”

Why indeed? I tried to simplify and there was no need. Had I used the correct term it would not have gone over her head. Lesson learned.

Acknowledge others and get them engaged. When discussing favorite cartoons, my nephew allowed his two friends to voice their opinions first. He then acknowledged their choices saying he liked those too before adding a few of his own.

Listen. My nephew listens, often stopping all other activity to intently focus on what is being said. He doesn’t talk just to be heard. Watching him listen was a clear demonstration of how listening is as valuable to the conversation as spoken words.

And most important of all, every great communicator knows that sometimes words are not enough, you just have to sing, dance, hop around and celebrate for no good reason at all, as my nephew and his friends gleefully did toward the end of the day.

How about you what lessons have you learned from the wee ones in your life?

Written by Karen D. Swim

Jane was giddy with excitement. She had just won her first freelance writing assignment. Technically, she would not be writing but proofreading. Her client had written an e-book and needed another set of eyes to proofread. Jane meticulously went through the copy, reading every word and marking up corrections. When it was time to deliver to the client, she did her fourth and final check just to be sure. She emailed the client a marked up version and a “clean” version. The client had not asked but Jane was eager to deliver.

An hour after she had emailed the manuscript to her client, her phone rang.

Hello Jane, this is Miranda. I received the copy and this is not at all what I wanted.

Beads of sweat formed on Jane’s lip as she tried to keep her voice from trembling, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. I proofread the copy and sent you two versions, did you receive them both?”

“I wanted you to get this ready for publication. You made no enhancements.”

“I thought you wanted me to proofread not edit.”

Now it was Miranda’s turn to be stumped. “Aren’t they the same thing?”

When I was in high school , I had an English assignment that taught me the value of providing clear directions. Our class was instructed to write the instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for an alien visiting our home. Most of the class thought the assignment was silly until they attempted to comply.

The instructions were for an alien who spoke the language but was not operating from the same context of experiences. You could not take shortcuts or make assumptions but had to be clear and direct.

Jane and Miranda not only spoke the same English but lived in the same country, in the same state, less than 5 miles apart. Yet, there had been a complete breakdown in communications. Miranda thought she understood proofreading and editing, but to a writer they are vastly different.

In our effort to be understood, we may try to speak the language but if we incorrectly apply a term we may not get our hoped for results. When providing someone with instructions, it is important to be clear and give detail. When receiving instructions, it is equally important to ask questions, and confirm mutual understanding.

Being misunderstood is easy but clear communication requires patience.

Have you ever had a situation where you thought you were clear and the results indicated your error? What did you learn from the experience?

4 Lessons from a 4 Year Old on Communication

Clear as Mud