Guest Post by Brad Shorr

This is the final post in our 4 part series.

Fear Number Four – Fear of Rejection

This is the Big Daddy, the one everybody talks about and the one that derails countless sales careers before they ever start. Though I am not a psychologist, I’ll venture to say we are all permanently saddled with a fear of rejection. It’s in our bones. It might comfort you to hear that some sales people I know who seem completely impervious to rejection are, in fact, more sensitive to it than the average person. So if we cannot eliminate the fear, what can we do to minimize it and not let it get in the way of our selling?

First, don’t kid yourself into thinking you can avoid feeling rejected when you are rejected. You will. But following this sage sales advice can make all the difference in the world: hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If you are prepared for being rejected, if you know it may be coming, you will feel it less deeply and for less time when it arrives.

Second, the worst is never as bad as we think it will be. Anxiety leads us to build things up in our minds far out of proportion to their actual significance. The more we fear rejection, the more nightmarish our visions of rejection become. A prospect who does not care for our offering is not likely to slice us to pieces with a machete. More likely, the prospect will say, “No thank you,” and everyone simply moves on.

Third, reflect deeply on the advice we have all heard: it’s not personal, it’s business. Even highly successful sales professionals have a hard time remembering that just because someone says “no” to your product, service, program, or idea, they are not saying “no” to you as a human being. And here lies the Catch-22. The more of ourselves we put into our selling, the more successful we become. However, the more of ourselves we put into selling, the more it hurts when we are rejected. There is no getting around it. But I can tell you this much. Having experienced rejection thousands of times, and having performed innumerable autopsies on failed sales efforts, I have learned that in very, very, few cases does the salesperson’s humanity, if you will, cause the failure. As a matter of fact, surprisingly few rejections are caused by weaknesses in the seller’s offering. More often than not, “no sales” occur because of indifference or issues completely unrelated to the salesperson or product.

Fourth, and most important, although we cannot eliminate feelings of rejection, we can learn what customers expect of us, sharpen our skills, and greatly reduce the number of times we experience rejection. Presumably, that is why you are reading this – to gain a fundamental understanding of how to approach prospects, uncover their needs, present your ideas, sell your ideas, and make rejection and all these other fears complete non-issues.

If these brief reflections are starting to put you more comfortable with the idea of being a sales person, you have taken the necessary first step. The most difficult part of sales – for that matter the most difficult part of any endeavor – is forming the proper attitude. And I say this not as a locker room pep talk, but because I’m trying to make a critical business point. The people to whom you will be selling are looking for one thing – value. Customers seek value in your price, value in your product, value in your service, and value in having a relationship with you. Customers see value when they see clarity and confidence.

Have you ever faced the fear of rejection in any professional situation? How did you overcome it? Please share your thoughts, solutions and ideas in the comments.

A big round of applause to Brad for so generously sharing these words of wisdom this week. Brad may include these posts in a book on selling, and you can say you saw it first here!

Brad is a sales and marketing consultant who lives near Chicago, Illinois. His company, Word Sell, Inc., provides strategic consulting, sales training and coaching, and business blog and other online marketing services.   Brad is a prolific reader and writer who is masterful at communicating even complex subjects with warmth and humor.

Guest post by Brad Shorr

This is Part III in a four part guest series by Brad Shorr.  Don’t miss the final post tomorrow.

Fear #2 – Fear of Appearing Stupid

Do you enjoy feeling like an idiot? Being caught off guard by a question you haven’t a clue how to answer? Stumbling over your words like a hapless rookie? Few people care to look foolish, yet inevitably we do from time to time when we sell. Unfortunately I don’t have any smart pills, but I can tell you a few things to help you overcome this fear.

First, prospects do not expect you to have all the answers. They only expect you to get all the answers. If you wait to sell until you have mastered all the facts and planned for every contingency, you will never begin. Every sales person in the world is missing some piece of information that might trip them up. You are not alone!

Second, prospects are people. Most all of them want to see you succeed, not fail. What happens when you are listening to a speaker who is struggling and completely off his game? If you are like me, you feel his pain and root for him to recover. That is how prospects will feel about you when you stumble.

Third, any prospect who doesn’t feel your pain, who roots for you to fail instead of succeed, is not a prospect in any meaningful sense of the word. You cannot build sales relationships with people who do not value them.

Fear #3– Fear of Disagreement

Some people thrive on controversy – if you do not believe me, spend a few hours watching cable news programs or reality shows and you will quickly be convinced. However, for us non-sellers, disagreement is disagreeable. I think because of that, we tend to be poor polemicists and go to extremes to avoid arguments. However, when we begin selling, we begin a dialog, and sometimes that dialog escalates into an argument. Now, when I find myself in an argument, my natural reaction is to do one of three things – back off, become overly hostile, or stammer incoherently. Since none of these reactions is conducive to effective selling, I’ve had to learn how to overcome my normal tendencies. If you are like me, these thoughts may help you handle being thrust into an argument.

First – and this holds true for every aspect of selling – put yourself in the prospect’s shoes. Even if what you are hearing sounds irrelevant or irrational, bear in mind what lies behind the prospect’s words are more than likely perfectly relevant and rational concerns. By focusing on the concerns rather than the words, your conversation will reduce tension rather than heighten it.

Second, spirited conversation around your offering is not all bad. They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. When I sold packaging materials I learned just how true that saying is. Brown boxes, by nature, were not very inspiring to sell – or buy. Most prospects could not have cared less about my brown boxes. So, when a buyer started arguing with me about my price or my quality or whatever – I got excited. Finally, I thought, someone who cares! Argument can be a sign of interest.

Third, listen! Diligent listening is arguably the most important skill a seller can possess. Often, the prospect or customer is more interested in blowing off steam or asserting authority than in actually engaging in debate. In such cases, the most constructive action you can take is to be quiet. Many an argument can be avoided entirely simply by resisting the temptation to respond.

Have you ever been tongue tied by the fear of looking stupid to a prospect?  Has the fear of disagreement kept you from selling success? Don’t let fear keep you from commenting. 🙂

Brad is a sales and marketing consultant who lives near Chicago, Illinois. His company, Word Sell, Inc., provides strategic consulting, sales training and coaching, and business blog and other online marketing services.   Brad is a prolific reader and writer who is masterful at communicating even complex subjects with warth and humor.