Written by Karen D. Swim, Photo copyright 2008 Darnok, courtesy of Morguefile.com
Yesterday as I was scanning Google trends I noticed that one of the top searches was model suicide. This morning, I took the time to read the story. I had no intention of blogging about it. In fact I had a scheduled post, but the story and the comments really bothered me so I thought I would share it here.
Ruslana Korshunova, a 20 year old Russian model nickamed the Russian Rapunzel, plunged to her death this weekend from her home in a tower in New York. The police are investigating her death as a possible suicide, yet that has not been confirmed, as of this writing.
Korshunova was a cover girl for Russian Vogue and French Elle. In the article she was described as sweet, and as is common no one saw signs of depression.
Many of the morning comments were disturbing with jokes made about her blowing off the roof because of her weight to people wondering why this is news. One of my young nephews committed suicide in April and I can honestly tell you there is absolutely nothing funny about suicide.
While making light of death is disturbing enough, the comments also reveal deeper issues with how we feel about beauty. Our culture is obsessed with beauty yet on some level repulsed by the obsession. Men and women strive to emulate the models of beauty yet we objectify those very same models and ridicule their seeming perfection.
Even as we buy potions, creams, miracles in a jar and flock to the latest fitness craze, we rejoice when a supermodel falls from the runway or when a celebrity is filmed from an unflattering angle. We seem to want to tear down the very images that we as a culture have elevated as a model of “success.”
We hungered for news of Britney Spears’ decline. Her mental illness and odd behavior held us capitvated while lining the pockets of big media. We have plastic surgery to correct our flaws, and restrict our diets to perfect our bodies. We want flawless skin and perfect abs like the airbrushed photos of models and celebrities. Yet we poke fun of these same images when they gain 10 pounds or are caught looking less than fabulous.
Today, a young woman is dead. She was beautiful but more importantly she was human. I did not know her but today I mourn her loss and all others who felt that death was their only way out.
Do you think we’re obsessed with beauty? Have the images of beauty ever influenced your own behavior or attitudes?
Karen Swim says
Hi Wanda, thanks so much for stopping by!
Wanda Alex says
Great blog you got here…keep up the good work.
Karen Swim says
山上渔夫, your English is very good and I really appreciate you reading and commenting. We can all learn from one another. I wish that peace and self love would replace plastic surgery. I understand that people want to look their best but true beauty begins on the inside. I have always believe that elders were beautiful. Thank you so much for giving us that insight on the leg surgery too. I’m very glad you came by!
山上渔夫 says
good post! that’s right and i agree a lot!
i am from china, and english is not as good as you guys.
what i’d like to say is things are just about the same around the world.
plastic surgury exist everywhere, for the globe is round and information flows fast!
as to the surgury of cutting leggs becoming taller, i heard about that too, but i’d like to say the technique is not origined from China.
and public people are just the same, loving peace and kindness.
Friar says
Though mabye it’s not just our society that’s obsessed with high standards of beauty.
Look at the 2000 year old Greek Statues, with Zeus and Hercules with 6-pack abs and gorgeous women (Hellen of Troy’s face could launch a thousand ships…).
This implied if you were physically fit, you were more like a God, or like royalty.
Talk about societal pressure.
Who knows? Mabye ugly people back then would have succumbed to plastic surgery too, if the technology would have existed.
Friars last blog post..Friar’s Least Popular Baptism Names for New-Borns
Karen Swim says
@Lillie, I sympathize with your loss too! Oh Lillie, how I wish I were wrong about the way things are in our society. I only hope that they will not continue to be this way.
@Friar, torturing yourself like that definitely seems insane to me. I would love to be taller but I would not have my legs broken to accomplish it! I also read that plastic surgery is way up in India for men and women. We have created these narrow standards of beauty that leave no room for aging. I find that sad. I don’t care. I want to age well but naturally. I definitely don’t want my face frozen by botox. I like moving my eyebrows and smiling!
Friar says
Karen
Sorry to hear about your nephew.
And as for this poor woman that died…the whole world has to know, so all her friends and family get to suffer even more. If she was just Joe Average Public, her death wouldn’t have gotten all the attention and her loved ones could grieved in peace.
As for being obsessed with beauty, the stupidest thing I ever heard was in China, people have their legs extended a few inches (by breaking bones with painful orthopedic surgergy and having to be in a wheelchair for months). Just so that they can be “taller” like their Western counterparts.
That’s just SAD….
But then again, all these people having plastic surgery are grown adults, making their own choices….so where does the responsibility lie?…
Interesting debate!
Friars last blog post..Friar’s Least Popular Baptism Names for New-Borns
Lillie Ammann says
Karen,
I wish I could say that you are wrong, that as a society we aren’t obssessed with beauty, that we don’t forget that celebrities are humans first and celebrities second. Unfortunately, I am afraid that you are right.
I also lost a nephew to suicide and sympathize with your loss.
Karen Swim says
@Evelyn, thank you so much for the kind words. It has been a very tough loss for my family. I was sickened at the cruel comments with many seemingly uncaring simply because she was a model. I believe that all adults (parents and non-parents) have a responsibility to the younger generation. We need to teach and model better behavior.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map says
Hello Karen,
So sorry to read about the loss of your nephew.
It’s sad that the online public are making jokes out of a suicide, something serious.
Hopefully, as a mom, I can teach my daugthers differently; that looks are not everything. Learning to love and accept themselves for who they are, is far more valuable.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Maps last blog post..How To Multiply The Energy Behind Focused Attention
Karen Swim says
@Brett and @ Steph, being the eternal optimist I believe that we do have the power to change things. In our little corner of the world we can help change the false perceptions. We can model and teach self acceptance and reach out to others in need of reassurance. One smile at a time we can and will make the world a better place. 🙂
Steph says
@Brett: Amen.
Stephs last blog post..Thank You for Reading
Brett Legree says
Wow. Very sad (both this story, and about your nephew). When something as simple as a smile can change the whole world, it is sad when someone is lost in this way – we lose the opportunity to meet another unique and beautiful person.
It makes me think. I just wish we could accept each other, truly accept each other, for who we are – perhaps it would help us accept ourselves. Or maybe it starts the other way.
Yes, I think that is how it works. We are all perfect, just the way we are.
Brett Legrees last blog post..one at a time.
Karen Swim says
@Jaden, I’m from CA and have friends in the business and know that they have flaws just like the rest of us. I agree that the pressure on them is getting worse, for both men and women. In some ways, we John and Jane Q. Public have created this problem. I mean goodness it pains me that every time a woman has a baby we obsess over her losing weight. I love your quote about the tree and ocean, that is a good reminder for all of us. Thank you Jaden! 😉
@Wendi,*sigh* it’s sad that we have become desensitized to humanity. We attack when we should be concerned and exercise compassion. We hunt celebrities like animals and make horrid comments about them as if they were not human beings. Sadly this has become the norm, look at what’s happening in our schools.
@Meryl, I’m sorry about your cousin. I don’t think any of us are immune to those insecurities. I struggle with that issue too. I had to practically be tied down at gunpoint to put a picture on the web. It still bothers me every time I look at it. You looked great in the skydiving video. Most importantly it was a totally awesome thing to do. I guess we all need help remembering that our beauty is more than skin deep. 🙂
Meryl K. Evans says
I lost a cousin — and a true friend — to suicide. He had suffered health problems for years and I guess he had had it.
I admit even with my accomplishments and all — I’ve had real issues with the external part of me. Had bad dieting habits in high school that almost caused health problems, but came to my senses just in time and it didn’t affect my having three great kids.
Even watching my skydiving video both bugs me and thrills me.
Meryl K. Evanss last blog post..Week of June 16 Prize Winners
Wendi Kelly says
Karen, this is very sad.
I lost a considerable amount of weight several years ago and I was flabbergasted at the attention I was suddenly getting when I turned into a *sex symbal* I am using that term sarcastically as I did not fel like one nor did I act like one or intend to be one. But 50 pounds later a few men thought that this change gave them googling rights as if my personality had changed along with the weight. It was like back off buddy I still have a mean right hook!
I am one of the silent group who Prayed for Britney and hoped that someone would see her cry for help as the mental illness it was. I thought the way that poor girl was treated was a frightning commentary on our society. The same group of people that slows down to watch car accidents.
I guess it can’t be helped. Some part of human nature or something. But it is sad.
Jaden @ Screenwriting for Hollywood says
Oh, and let me add for peace of mind…
Osho says something like:
A tree wouldn’t compare itself to the ocean. They are different and both beautiful in their own way. Likewise, people should not compare themselves to others. Everyone has something special to offer. No one is the same.
Jaden @ Screenwriting for Hollywoods last blog post..When Science Fiction Becomes Reality
Jaden @ Screenwriting for Hollywood says
I am sorry about the loss of your nephew.
In the last decade, men have also been getting plastic surgery and worrying about their physique, so they are starting to feel the pressure too.
Working in entertainment myself, I see models and celebrities from 2 inches away; I know very well what they really look like and how much make-up, lighting, airbrushing, and computer altering imaging they use for print and film — A LOT!!! No one looks as good as the altered images, except the young people (who still have flaws too). Altering images definitely creates false expectations.
As much as the public suffers from it, the models and actors suffer more. When people see them in real life, they are disappointed. The press relentlessly hounds them and tries to capture and show just how bad they really look. They are told about their imperfections and requested to fix them daily by casting, agents, etc… nose, wrinkles, cellulite, weight, hair texture, clothes, etc… It’s brutal in entertainment. Always being in the spotlight means always being judged and picked apart. Who likes being judged?
One time, I was having a conversation with a wealthy male director friend of mine. He said he likes to go away on long trips away from Hollywood all the time because in Hollywood, he never feels good enough, whereas when he goes to other places, people think he is great. He said, it doesn’t matter how successful (ie. beautiful or rich) you get, there will always be someone better.
Karen Swim says
Roland, so often we think that only women are impacted by the standards of beauty but we all are affected. I think it is hard for even the models and celebrities to live up to the standards! I have even noticed that the male models and celebrities have gotten skinnier, even the ones they say are “ripped.” I’m glad there is hope for all of us. 🙂
Roland Hesz says
Karen, of course they did influenced my behavious and attitude. For example, when a guy looks at a “suitable girl” he unconsciously compares her to the ones he sees on posters, in movies, in video clips. I suspect that I do the same on some level.
Noone escapes it I am afraid.
But there is hope, it’s not like “burned in permanently” so you can get rid of it.