Written by Karen D. Swim
On February 2, 1992 I sat in an office at Daniel Freeman Hospital with a nun and friends who were there to support me. My mother had passed away this day and I was dutifully signing papers and handling the necessary administrative details. I saw and heard very little and remember even less. I walked out of the doors of the hospital inconsolable. I could not control the sobs as my body absorbed the loss of my best friend, confidante, and role model.
As I walked into the light of day, a woman stopped and touched my arm. Soon her arms were around me as she consoled me and prayed for me right there in the parking lot. She had recognized the grief of losing a mother and rather than bowing her head and quickly walking away she stopped to offer comfort. From the experience of her own grief she gave me the gift of hope.
I clung to her every word, this warm and gracious woman who had survived the loss of a beloved mother. I trusted her experience and believed the comforting words she offered. I saw her sincere and giving heart and somehow through the pain knew that one day I would be okay too.
In the days and weeks ahead, her words wrapped themselves around me like a gentle hug. I ached more than I ever thought possible but because of this woman I had hope. The gift this woman gave me was more precious than gold. She gave the gift of her self, her time and her heart to a wounded 29 year old who desperately needed it.
This woman’s gift taught me that a gift of self is as valuable as a pot of gold. A willingness to share yourself with another may be the best gift you can give. Her gift also taught me to pay it forward from the cup of my experience. Over the years, I have been quick to help others through loss offering insight from my own experience. It is not always easy to revisit your own pain but I learned from a stranger that the voice of experience can touch in a special way.
So often we think of generosity as a tangible or financial gift but the generosity of spirit is just as valuable. I will forever be grateful to this wonderful stranger for a gift that continues to bless me 15 years later.
This post is a contribution to the 19th edition of the What I Learned From groupwrite project. If you missed this month’s project, never fear, read Middle Zone Musings for next month’s topic.
Hi Karen
It’s true that sometimes the generousity of a stranger breaks through our wall of grieve/pain/despair.
I could say “been there, experienced that” but that’s not right here. I will just remember the kindness and warmed that came from a stranger’s generousity who, like for you, showed me in a simple way there would be light at the end of that tunnel again.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Tabetha, I am so glad it inspired you. To this day I am moved when I think of this woman’s kindness. Thank you so much for sharing with me!
This post actually brought tears to my eyes! What an awesome act of generosity! What a great inspiration! The best way to heal completely from your pain is to help someone else heal from a similar pain! Thanks for sharing!
My mother passed when I was overseas. It was a long journey home with nothing but my own thoughts for consolation. Yet, I do remember a feeling of solace as I was wrapped up in the anonymity of travel and perhaps that’s what I needed at that moment.
Thank you for sharing this story, Karen. You are so lucky to have had that experience, and I heartily agree with Joanna and Lillie. You are truly one of kindest souls I’ve met.
Joanna and Lillie, I tried to avoid the blush but you double teamed me. 🙂 Thank you so much for heartwarming words on this chilly Monday morning.
Karen,
This is a beautiful story, and I agree with Joanna that you truly exemplify generosity of spirit.
Karen, you’re right, the gifts of kindness and time, when we need it the most, are the ones we remember for the rest of our lives.
No blushing now but you are a wonderful example of generosity of spirit within the blogosphere, you bring such warmth and kindness with you wherever you go, as well as a willingness to share some really deep personal stories.
Joanna
@Robert, the gift of rejoicing even in grief definitely sustained me. This woman is one of the many examples that God does indeed supply our every need and catches our every tear.
@Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. Somehow the words of one who has “been there” touch the heart in a different way. You are so right that we also have the opportunity to be that angel for someone else. I know those words are from your own wealth of compassion. Thank you Susan for being open here and sharing your own experience.
When my mother passed away I had a similar experience. A woman that knew someone else in my family was at the funeral but I did not know her. At the end of the service, she walked over and put her arms around me. She said that no matter what the age, there is no greater loss than losing your mother unless, of course, you have lost a child. I will never forget her kindness. Yes, there were many people there to share my grief and to comfort me, but it was the words of a stranger that gave me permission to feel the depths of my grief. I believe that we each of the capacity to be someones angel. We just need to be open to the opportunity and then give of ourselves.
Karen, my heart grieves – and rejoices with you too! It’s it wonderful how a simple thing like a hug (at just the right time) can make such a difference? I’m glad God supplied your need at that moment, so you could share it with others down the line.
Thanks for the entry in this month’s project!
Cheers!