Written by Karen D. Swim
This post is the second in a week long series on Learning to Love Self Promotion. You can read the introductory post here.
Self-promotion is integrally entwined with negative emotions for many people. You may have been raised to cloak yourself in humility and view self-promotion as bragging. Or you may have seen the trait in others and found it distasteful or overbearing. To begin to overcome our discomfort and fears let us first define some terms.
Brag – 1 : a pompous or boastful statement 2 : arrogant talk or manner : cockiness (boldly or brashly self-confident)
Self – 1 a: oneself or itself <self-supporting> b: of oneself or itself <self-abasement> c: by oneself or itself <self-propelled> <self-acting>2 a: to, with, for, or toward oneself or itself <self-consistent> <self-addressed> <self-love> b: of or in oneself or itself inherently <self-evident> c: from or by means of oneself or itself <self-fertile
Promotion– : the act of furthering the growth or development of something ; especially : the furtherance of the acceptance and sale of merchandise through advertising, publicity, or discounting
We can therefore define self-promotion as selling yourself. You will note that by pure definition promotion is not inherently “arrogant” or “pompous.”
Self-promotion is necessary to make others aware of your capabilities, or offerings. You may be immensely talented or have a top-notch product or service. However, it is possible to get bypassed for opportunity simply because you did not speak up.
Have you ever watched an “expert” on television and realized that you could have provided the same information? Has someone else held a position that you were entirely capable of performing?
Imagine that someone you love has the voice of an angel. When they open their mouth to sing, the sound is so beautiful that it moves you to tears. Further they love to sing and dream of one day singing on a world stage. One day you and your loved one are at a coffee shop and a well-known music producer walks through the door. As you wait for your order, you overhear him telling the barista of his dilemna. He is putting on a local show and his lead singer has taken ill. Without a replacement, he will have to cancel the show. Do you tell your loved one to make his/her talent known or do you encourage them to keep quiet because self-promotion is an unattractive quality?
I’m going to take a wild guess and assume your answer was “Are you kidding me, I’d tell them to sing their hearts out right there in that coffee shop!”
So, why do you feel okay about self-promotion in this instance but not others? In our example, there was an expressed unmet need (opportunity) and your loved one had a solution. Not only was it okay but there was a benefit for the producer (prospect). It’s hard not to feel good about offering value to another person.
Not every sales situation is this transparent. If it were, self-promotion would be as easy as offering a band-aid to someone with a cut. We have to uncover opportunity and we do that by actively seeking people we can help. We share what we have to offer to others. They may not need what we’re selling today, but when they do, don’t you want to be the first person that comes to mind?
Were you associating self-promotion with a negative connotation? When you remove that emotion does it help remove some of the barrier for you?
Photo Credit: © Brunoil | Dreamstime.com
Jamie Grove - How Not To Write says
@Karen My use of humor seems to make it easier for others to talk about themselves. This isn’t something I think about consciously, but I’ve observed that when I share funny stories about my world people invariably have something of their own to add.
And since the universe is fond of giving me plenty of opportunities to expand my repertoire, I never seem to run out of things to talk about. 😉
Jamie Grove – How Not To Write´s last blog post..My Best Writing Makes Me Feel ______.
ECStewart says
I’ve learned to separate myself in half: one is the big boss lady who remains in the office waiting for the sales half to return with leads. If I’ve got someone ‘else’ to answer to, it takes the burden off and I feel more confident.
This also serves to quell the queasiness associated with the dreaded self-promotion and helps to eliminate taking rejection personally.
Joanna Young says
Hi Karen, I’m one of the many who needs to read your wisdom this week. I find it much easier to promote ‘myself’ when it’s around a tangible product – maybe that’s because it provides some kind of defence or shelter from promoting ‘me’.
One of the ways I get round the negatives is to focus on the people who would appreciate knowing more about what I do, and how to let them know.
BTW your site does look a little different to me too, I’m finding it harder to read the font
Joanna Young´s last blog post..Why It’s Worth Sticking with Twitter
Karen Swim says
Roland, you have to keep in mind that what seems second nature to you and not very “special” or “difficult” may be challenging for another. Further, there are people out there who will respond much better to the way you share that information than someone else possessing the same knowledge. When we realize that we all have our unique talent and place in the world, we can then work to honor it by continuous learning and refining.
Tomorrow (well now today) I bare all. 🙂 Thursday, I do a little shimmy. 🙂
Karen Swim says
Lillie, I am better at promoting others too but I’m learning to stink less when it comes to self-promotion. 🙂
I visited your blog yesterday and am humbled by this award – thank you Lillie! You truly deserve the award, it’s as though it were created just for you!
Karen Swim says
Janice, thanks for catching that! By end of week I hope to provide subtle language changes that will make the whole process pleasant. 🙂
Karen Swim says
Hi Jamie, you do specialize in self-deprecating humor, and you’re confident BUT I have known many who used humor as a self-protective mechanism. I’ve know many will poke fun about themselves before others do. In your case, does the humor put in that “third layer” that makes it easier to talk about yourself or is it just a result of that wonderful gift you have? 🙂
Roland Hesz says
I agree with Brad. Things I know does not seem to be “special” or “difficult” or such. They are just things which anyone could do. So why me? I mean, the other knows something I don’t so he must be more fit for the position.
I think a part of the problem is that most of us does not really value what we know – it is just “oh, that simple little thing, no big deal, really”.
Even if it is known only by a couple hundred people in the world.
Curious about the “tomorrow” post 🙂
Roland Hesz´s last blog post..A new position
Lillie Ammann says
Karen,
I’m better at promoting others than I am at promoting myself.
And right now I’m promoting you by awarding you the Premio Dardos Award. See my blog for details.
Lillie Ammann´s last blog post..The Premio Dardos Award
Janice Cartier says
Is it Yogi Berra who said, “90% of this game is half mental”?
When you say this:
‘We have to uncover opportunity and we do that by actively seeking people we can help. We share what we have to offer to others.”
that’s a lovely perspective changer.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Beauty And The Buck
Jamie Grove - How Not To Write says
“doesn’t mean I’m shy about toting my own horn”
And what a mighty horn it must be if I have tote it around all over the place… I love how the universe works with my fingers to provide endless opportunities for proving my own points. 🙂
Jamie Grove – How Not To Write´s last blog post..My Best Writing Makes Me Feel ______.
Jamie Grove - How Not To Write says
Everyone knows, I specialize in self-depreciating humor but that doesn’t mean I’m shy about toting my own horn. In fact, making light of a deep talent can be one of the most potent forms of subtle promotion. When you know enough about a subject to crack meaningful jokes (even when you’re the punch line), it shows just how much you really know.
Jamie Grove – How Not To Write´s last blog post..My Best Writing Makes Me Feel ______.
Brad Shorr says
Not weird, just different somehow. Background looks whiter?
Karen Swim says
Hey Brad! I have been there too and tomorrow plan to share how this fear began to creep into other areas of my life. It helps to have a nudge from someone who knows you to remind you of your talent. Consider yourself nudged. 🙂
I did not change the template but have had some wackiness lately. Is it doing weird things for you?
Brad Shorr says
Very interesting, Karen. When I feel reluctant to promote myself, maybe the root cause is I don’t believe I have something of quality to offer. That would explain why I find it much easier to promote some of my services over others. PS – did you change your template?