Written by Karen D. Swim
Do you have a dream graveyard? Tombstones planted in the backyard of your life that trumpet the life and death of long forgotten hopes, goals and plans. Birthed with possibility, shining bright with a vision, they now lie silent in a land of dry bones.
“It whispers; all is waiting here
Kept safe for thee, year after year,
Beautiful songs in thousands;
Where hast thou been, where, where?”–Erik Axel Karlfeldt
There are many reasons we allow dreams to die – impatience, lack of know how, fear, doubt or perhaps timing. The good news is that you can resurrect the dead. I took an eye-opening trip through my own graveyard recently. There were dreams that were mere fancies of imagination, lacking the passion needed to sustain them. Yet, there were others which made me linger at the tombstone, desperately trying to recall why I had not taken life-saving measures. Even from the grave, they called out to me, causing a swift intake of breath as I was filled with the possibility of a second chance.
“The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.” –Elizabeth Gilbert
In this place, as I came face to face with death, life was renewed. I could shed the things that did not fulfill my life and my purpose. With a clearer vision I could also wisely choose the dreams that had never really died but simply rested in peace until it was time.
How about you – any dreams that deserve a second chance?
Ulla, the idea of a someday/maybe list is a wonderful idea. It helps to sort what Melissa describes as fantasies from goals. I think the someday / maybes are at that moment in your life the things that are the “would be nice to” but not necessarily the things that grab hold of your soul refusing to let go. However, some of those somedays may be first steps, the quiet acknowledgment that the yearning is there until it rises into a roar that says today is the day.
Karen,
I have been away for too long, for sure – but I’m back on my game now. I’ll return to posting at my own site soon too. Much time was spent thinking, and it was good.
Passing the torch is not limited only to those with children, either. Everyone’s ideas can live on, and they will, if you want them to.
Brett Legree´s last blog post..genetics.
Karen,
Your post reminded me of the someday/maybe list in Remember The Milk (I am using that tool in a desperate attempt to get better in self-organization). I think working with such a list could do two things: prevent the death of certain dreams and b) when going regularly through that list making one think about one’s dreams.
To give an example: I am playing with the idea of writing e-books, but it is not a concrete project today. So I put it in Someday/Maybe.
Ulla Hennig´s last blog post..Holocaust Memorial, Berlin
Melissa, oooh, this is very good! We need those fantasies but not all will become goals. I think the fantasies alone help our hearts to take flight, to explore, and be adventurous. Just the indulgence can fan the flames of passion but then those fantasies that won’t let go that demand to be oxygenated, aww…magic!
Last night I was thinking about the difference between fantasies and goals. I think some of our dreams aren’t meant to be realized. Maybe it’s lack of passion. It’s important that we never give up on the dreams that could become real goals, dreams that could come true because we are so passionate about them. The trick, of course, is to keep the passion burning.
@Friar, aww you’re wrong on this one, spinach, veggies, soy cheese, gluten free crust, pure pizza heaven!
@Karen
Sorry. anything with spinach on it ….is NOT a pizza! 😉
@Friar, well shucks if it’s a big pizza with spinach and soy cheese, I’ll share that dream! 🙂
Alex, you are such a dynamo and inspiration to us all! Hugging you..but not in a creepy way. 😉
Hi Conor, you always have the best thought provoking comments!
“I believe that dreams without action can often be worse than no dreams at all. They can plant seeds of regret, self-loathing and resentment in people who dare to dream, but dare not reach for them.”
Wow! This is such a profound insight and brings to mind Proverbs 13:12: Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
Unfulfilled dreams are at the root of bitterness and depression for so many people. I love your attitude abut dragging those dreams out into the light of day, facing down our fears and harvesting them!
I am so happy to share my plot of land with you Conor! 🙂
Hi Andrew! Laugh! I love that dream! After being passed in marathons by 75 year old men I am entirely convinced that not much is beyond our reach, so yes dust off and go for it! 🙂
Brad, I am so glad that you are living your dream and sharing it with us through your blog. I cannot imagine my life without WordSell and most importantly your friendship. I value your insight and so enjoy the conversation and community, it really is a vital part of my day.
My dear kilted wonder friend, how I have missed you! Awww, so moving and so true – those tombstones are visible to others too. It is amazing how we can truly pass the torch to generations forward to carry out the dreams that we have left undone. I can only imagine the complexity and wonder this holds for those that are parents. Definitely thoughts to ponder.
Good Morning Vincent! Thank you for your kind thoughts and for sharing this on Twitter. I could write a very long post on your graciousness but will contain myself in this comment. 🙂
This image was quite powerful for me too that I felt compelled to share. Already I am seeing positive changes in my own life, I hope that other gain value from the reflection.
Huge hugs to you Vincent,
Karen
@Brett
If I had my druthers, I’d dream about being a fighter-jet pilot rescuing damsel-in-distress Amazon Flight Attendants from the Planet D-Cup.
And I’d get rewarded with beer, pizza and…(er) other things. 😉
Instead, I end up having anxiety dreams about being back in Grade 8 and forgetting my locker combination.
(THIS is the lame-ass scenario my brain wants me to think about?).
Hmmm…maybe you better lend me that book.
Friar´s last blog post..Tips to Avoid the Swine Flu (*)
Well Friar, there’s your first mistake.
You need to dream that you’re eating a BIG PIZZA, surrounded by thousands of millions of other BIG PIZZAS – because you’re on PLANET PIZZA.
I can loan you a book on lucid dreaming if you like heh heh 🙂
@Brett
Sometimes I dream I’m eating a BIG PIZZA.
And then I wake up, and it’s gone.
That makes me SAD. 🙁
Yum, some delicious words here. Sometimes dreams are meant to sift awhile. Lie dormant. Some are meant to die. Half the cleverness we possess is to figure out which is which I think. 😉
In New Orleans and Venice tombs are above ground. Maybe dreams should be too, lest we forget them. 😉
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..A Word About Studio
I would say that no, I don’t have a dream graveyard because dreams never die, they mutate into new ones.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post..No You Won’t Need It Someday
Hi Karen,
Thank you for such a thought provoking post and wake up call.
‘Dream Graveyard’ – powerful!
I believe that dreams without action can often be worse than no dreams at all. They can plant seeds of regret, self-loathing and resentment in people who dare to dream, but dare not reach for them.
It reminds me of the T. E. Lawrence quote:
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible”
I think dreams can die if we let them, or at least stagnate and fade into the mist of responsibility, sensibility and “maturity” that greets us as we grow.
However, if we drag them into the light of day and face down our fears and insecurities, they can rescue us and bring new perspective to our lives. My dream graveyard looks more like a ploughed field. I visit regularly to harvest, dig and replant 🙂
Conor
Hi Karen,
Definately, my dream to become a professional Australian Rules footballer when I grow up should definately be resurrected!
Oh, but only one problem – I’m thirty-two, which is about the age that most professional footballers retire, so I guess I might let that one go. Same too for my dreams about playing cricket for Australia and being so wealthy that I could retire by the age of twenty-five.
But seriously, I certainly see your point, and as long as we are alive and in reasonable physical and mental condition, then there are no doubt plenty of dreams which each of us could dust off and go for, if we are not going for them already.
Hi Karen, What powerful imagery. It takes plenty of courage to walk through that graveyard – a quality you definitely have in abundance.
It’s a sad thing when dreams die, but yes, I do believe they can die if we let them. For the past few years I’ve living a dream as far as my work is concerned. It took a long time for me to do it, and I’m thankful the dream stayed alive all those years.
Brad Shorr´s last blog post..Words that should be banned: Solutions – Guest Post by Clare Lynch
I am with you on this one Karen – I don’t think dreams ever die. Sometimes we may not be able to complete all of them, as we are mortal – yet, the dreams live on.
We can pass them on to others – our friends, family, people out here – through our words.
And in that way, the dreams are forever.
I myself have many dreams – I am working on making some of them reality, right now. Other dreams are waiting in the wings, either for me to make real, or for someone else to complete – my children perhaps, or maybe even you.
Brett Legree´s last blog post..genetics.
Good morning, Karen,
First: I hope you’re doing well this morning. (6:14 am, Eastern May 6, 2009)
Second: There are very few people whom I know who could capture such deep sentiments in such a brief post.
Third: The timing of this post is beyond breathtakingly intriguing. I spent a great deal of last night thinking about similar matters. However, I’m truly thankful that you took time to capture them.
I hope many others will reflect on this very brief but very rich post.
Keep STRONG, Karen!!
+Vincent
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