Written by Karen D. Swim
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Dr. Christiane Northrup has one and recommends it to other women. Beyonce has one who made her own album. David Bowie’s is famous. Miley Cyrus shares the spotlight with hers. Mine has been the cure for my fear of self-promotion.
Meet my alter ego, Sasha the sales champ. Not the multiple personality disorder, on the verge of a breakdown alter ego. A persona or role if you will that was the antidote to my fear of selling, boldly going where I could not.
My journey to finding Sasha forced me to take a hard look at my own fears. When I was an employee, my face brightened when asked about my job. I enjoyed what I did and was proud of my company. I never worried about being overbearing because sharing what you did was a normal part of getting to know others.
It was so easy when someone else’s name was on the shingle. What had changed? Me. I was emotionally attached to the product in a way I had not been in corporate. Selling had migrated from a routine business practice to a reflection of me as a person.
I needed distance and Sasha afforded me that space. An alter ego provided me the luxury of stepping into a selling role with nothing to fear. Sasha realizes that it’s her job to find other people to help. She believes in the company and knows that it is not overbearing or intrusive to talk about what “we” do. She is building two-way relationships and understands that part of her giving is letting others know what you have to offer.
When I tell Sasha my fears, she rolls her eyes and responds, “Duh, if you don’t tell people what you do, how will they know?”
We want to buy from people we know and trust. We also want to refer to people we know and trust. If we’re all too polite to let people know what we offer, how can we give and get support? My alter ego understands this principle. She has not allowed herself to be saddled with unessential emotional baggage.
My fear of selling was rooted in disordered thinking. Sasha allowed me to adjust my lens and change my perspective. Sometimes a little distance is precisely what the doctor ordered.
Have you ever created an alter ego? In what way did it help you? What did you learn about yourself?
Tomorrow we will examine specific changes that we can make to self-promote without triggering those internal alarm bells.
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You are right, there are different fears. In my case, it’s extremely important to be able to support myself. it comes from a corner in my heart and mind that tells me no matter how good things appear to be, everything goes down the drain and you’ll have to make it on your own. It probably is so because my mom raised me practically by herself. So the fear of not being able to pay for all my expenses on my own is the biggest. It’s not the uncertainty or newness. That’s why I compared it to your experience. Maybe this will help better understand my view 🙂
Alina Popescu´s last blog post..Keep the promise you make in the subject line
Karen,
Isn’t it amazing how the fresh perspective of another can help to create clarity in our thinking?
I could quite imagine the temptation to be over polite during the promotion of one’s own offering – after all, approaching people with respect to one’s offering is never an easy task, particularly given your emotional involvement with your own offering and the prospect of questions or challenges from prospective clients.
Nevertheless, if you don’t put yourself out there – they are not going to come beating at your door.
Andrew´s last blog post..Thoughts for a nation in shock
Never thought about creating an alter ego, but that’s kinda what I do. I think of myself as a work happiness super hero. I’m hear to save people from the pain and bring in the joy.
When I call companies and talk to CEO’s, I am a super form of me. I’m jovial and engaging. No person could keep this energy level up all day, everyday, but that’s what an alter ego is all about. Letting it out to take care of business when you need it the most.
I guess I would name my alter ego, “Oatzel.” An old pen name I used to use.
Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last blog post..Design Friendly Atmosphere
@Janice, I am super visual and everywhere I look there are visual reminders pushing me toward my goals or reminding me of past achievements. You may soon get to see a peek inside my office, complete with weights. 🙂
@Alina, I was thinking about what you said and it got me pondering. There are things that scare us because they’re new and different and other things that scare us because they’re rooted in something deeper. I think the “normal scary” getting out of your comfort zone responds to a different strategy. Those deeper fears take some time to dig off the layers. Hmmm, going to ponder that a bit more.
@Joanna, lol! Sonia Simone is my heroine! I have saved her email newsletters because they are so brilliantly done. She sells like the “big boys” but with an adorable Sonia touch. Yes, she would be a good alter ego. I think Sasha may be taking a few pages from Sonia’ s book but she’s not quite as smart. 😉
ROFLOL- Excellent choice.
still laughing… I totally agree.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Room To Play
Karen, what an interesting approach… will definitely think about applying it myself. I think if I was going to construct an alter ego to help me out I’d make her Sonia Simone… what do you think? 😉
Joanna Young´s last blog post..Why It’s Worth Sticking with Twitter
Karen, it did work for me. When I was trying to decide what to do and if I should start my own company or not, I was lucky to have friends who already owned a business. I learned how hard it was first hand, but also saw they were happy, surviving and doing better than before. It helped me overcome my fears and leave my safety zone.
Alina Popescu´s last blog post..Keep the promise you make in the subject line
Karen- LOL I think so too.
I like what Alina said. I was just thinking about some role models I am drawn to. I wonder if she uses a vision board. I used to tape those Nike black and white ads of women in action all over my apartment at one time. I had forgotten that. Hm…maybe that would help get me back to the gym….
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Room To Play
@Janice, yours drives a Jag and mine is in love with Prada, yes I think they did go to school together. 😉 If they ever annoy us we can send them off on vacation together, they’d have a blast I’m sure.
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Love is Not on My List
@Alina, I think finding a mentor (whether through relationship, reading or just knowing of) and emulating their strengths is a wonderful idea. When you have found someone to model who is strong where you are weak, did that cure the fear for you? Was it simply getting comfortable learning how that helped overcome the fear?
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Love is Not on My List
“My fear of selling was rooted in disordered thinking.”
Funny. When we put money with a lot of things, the idea of selling what we really are, what we really love, just sets off all kinds of red alerts and inhibitions. Which is ironic because the more aligned we are, we more we have to offer. The flow is stronger.
Alter egos are great at kicking a bit more order into the mix. We have some pretty strong dialogues. But it doesn’t take much. If I just summon her up, she reminds to just jump in the Jaguar and go…. and I am thinking , how comes she gets the Jag. I don’t even own a car….hey.
… every one knows I paint really great paintings right? Remy! See there she goes again…I think maybe she and Sasha went to school together.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Room To Play
I think my method is somewhat based on what Brad describes. I find people who do what I’m afraid to do, bond with them, try to learn from them and be a little more like them. Seeing something you fear can be overcome helps a lot, you don’t have to think about it being impossible 🙂
Alina Popescu´s last blog post..Keep the promise you make in the subject line
@Brad, yes, excellent suggestion! If you are a solo professional you can absolutely share sales responsibility with a partner or team up with another professional and cross promote. However, there is still that need to learn to self-promote and grow comfortable with it. Employees must be able to do it to manage and further their careers and business owners can’t outsource it 100% of the time. 🙂
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Sequins, Shimmies and Sasha
Hi Karen, I’ve never created an alter ego, but I’ve worked with one on many occasions. It’s an effective approach, too – if you can team up with someone who has complementary talents, it can be a powerful combination. Have you ever seen a successful business run by a duo who seem like total opposites? I’ve seen quite a bit of that. It works!
Brad Shorr´s last blog post..Silly Sales Wordplay – Invest versus Spend