- Image by …-Wink-… via Flickr
In today’s culture many are comfortable with simply “hooking up.” A hook up bypasses the niceties that build intimacy over time and instead fast tracks to the end result without a commitment for a repeat performance. The motto seems to be “try, no need to buy.” Willing participants consent to mutual sampling and seemingly avoid the risk of effort without reward that comes from the pursuit of commitment. Hook-ups however are not without their own risks and messy complications.
Old fashioned relationships have a different rhythm and pacing. Seduction is slow and deliberate like a smooth jazz tune on a hot summer night. Romance ignites the embers of desire that are gently stoked until they become a rousing fire whose hot flames lick at the boundaries of reason. But unlike a hook up commitment quenches the flame while carefully preserving the fire. It is the dance of just enough until you have weaved a cord of trust that pulls you into an embrace.
In business the hook up is the drive by marketing attempt – a message that is sprayed upon thousands, an open invitation for anyone with interest. There is no first date, barely an introduction as your pursuer leads you from “hello” to the Garden of Eden. The pursuer has an itch – to make money – and will get it scratched by any willing participant. There is no small talk and no attempt to create even the façade of a relationship.
The business that is interested in commitment is willing to romance you. They want to get to know you because they are as picky as you are about giving away their intimacy. In this pursuit you are the object of interest. The committed business will engage you in conversation and will share details so that you get to know them too. They understand that building a relationship takes effort, and that effort is worth it to win customers that will be more than a one night stand.
In your business marketing are you hooking up or pursuing commitment? Hook-ups can be costly as you will constantly have to pursue new customers. While the effort of commitment can appear daunting in the end it is not only more effective but cost efficient. There is overwhelming quantifiable validation that it costs far less to keep an existing customer than to win a new one.
Hook-ups may win you some business but commitment will help you to build a sustainable business with long term customers. What choice are you making in your own business?
Hi Cheryl, thank you! I hope that in some small way we can demonstrate the beauty of romance and commitment in life and business.
Beautiful words of romance. And like Brad, I understand the “hooking up” reference, though hoping it doesn’t ever hit close to home.
Great analogy!
Hi Sandra! I am so glad to have found you through HCB! In fact your blog was instant love for me and I highlighted it in my Friday post. Denny is a perfect example of creating true intimacy in business. I have no doubt that because of his faith he truly sees the value in each human being and with a focus on the person and creating true connection he has intersected business and mission. Thank you for sharing his story!
What stunning imagery. I had to read this several times. To my simple mind, it’s like saying you can have an affair with a client or marry them.
Reminds me of Denny, consistently the top salesperson for the insurance company my husband works for. He romances his clients. And continued to do so from his hospital bed as he recuperated from a snowmobile accident that nearly took his life. He sends cards, personal encouraging notes (to clients and other sales reps), newspaper clippings where one’s name is mentioned. Meets personal needs. And it’s not a game. He really cares, has a deep faith, and is willing to share it. Sales are just a side effect of his relationships.
So glad to have found you through HCB!
Bradley – Thank you so much for your uplifting and instructive comments! This post was the result of my soul being troubled by the “hook up” culture where people are devalued and momentary pleasure is prized. Thank you also for the Charles Green recommendation!
Karen – This is such a great analogy to use “hook ups” (I have two teen-age girls, so I know EXACTLY what that is referring to) to business. It reminds me of the work that Charles Green is doing over at The Trust Advisors, where he emphasizes the lost art of genuine caring, authenticity and being a real person-to-person in the selling process. In business, we tend to forget that at the other end of the transaction are real human beings, who have feelings, preferences, relationshiops, souls and spirits. When you start looking at doing business as a way to reach out and help/encourage/relate to people in a caring way, it puts a whole new spin on things.
Thanks for such a great post!
Hi Dorian! Thank you so much for stopping by. I am a huge fan of Lillie’s blog and her books and am humbled by the recognition. I appreciate your kind words and please know the welcome mat is always out for you!
What an appropriate analogy between business relationships and relationships between humans. I am a regular reader of Lillie Ammann’s blog and when I saw she honored your with One Lovely Blog I knew I had stumbled across another winner. Congratulations.
Lillie, thank you! What a tremendous honor! I would like to publicly state that you are one of the few blogs I subscribe to via email because your posts never fail to inform and uplift. They are a welcome addition to my inbox that brings a smile to my face!
I appreciate your blog and think it is One Lovely Blog. I have passed this award on to you to publicly recognize you. Although the criteria passed on to me to officially accept the award state that each recipient should pass the award on to others, I am recognizing your blog with no expectations that you will acknowledge or pass it on. I just want you to know that I always enjoy your blog and find it inspiring, thought-provoking, informative, or all of the above.
You can read the post with the link and description of your blog when the post goes live Monday, July 26th, at http://lillieammann.com/2010/07/26/one-lovely-blog-award/
Hi Davina! Such an astute insight about the affect on the business. I love what you say about long term relationships inspiring us to raise our own game. This is absolutely true. In the long term, what you’re made of is exposed. In the short term you may be able to wow a customer but over time what emerges when the initial shine wears off? Off to marinate on that for you have inspired some good thinking here. Thanks for popping in Davina!
Hi Karen,
I’m perusing through the blogs of fellow members of Joanna’s writing group. I love the analogy you’ve made here. I can see the value in romancing your customers beyond the quick fix. Not only does it develop long-term relationships, but it is more satisfying for the business person. For me, personally, it encourages my A-game because over a longer-term connection a person is inspired to continue to deliver the best and to measure the results. Results are more difficult to measure with quick fixes.
Andrew, good observations! Even in your example though relationship matters. Realtors, car dealers and others cultivate relationships for exactly that reason. You may not purchase a home or car for several years but you will know people that you can refer and you may find yourself in need of a second vehicle / home. All the more reason for those types of businesses to develop a relationship and stay in touch. This is also true of contractors – plumbers, renovators. If you’re not top of mind, you are forgotten.
Karen,
Excellent distinction.
I guess ‘hook ups’ and ‘commitment’ are both appropriate for different cases.
Hook ups might be appropriate in businesses whereby sales are of a ‘one off’ nature, and where reputation doesn’t count for so much. One possible example is ‘Car city’ a used car sales yard down the road from me where about 40 different dealers compete for your business. Car sales is not a business – most people buy only one (regardless of how many they would like) and do not need another one for several years. Even then, the chances of buying again from the same dealer are remote. And reputation does not count for much either – with more than forty dealers on site, it’s hard for individuals to remember who’s who.
On the other hand, most industries operate on the basis of repeat purchases. In these cases, most businesses would be best served demonstrating a commitment to quality and service, thereby minimising customer turnover and the need to constantly acquire new customers.
This is so true, Karen.
I have only a handful of clients, but they keep me busy full time. I don’t want to have to be constantly looking for new clients, so I nurture the relationships with the ones I have.
@Fred, ooh, excellent insight Fred – “without intimacy performance suffers.” This is rich is imagery and truth. Thank you for sharing it here.
@Cath, love, love the “quick fix” analogy! The problem with a quick fix is that you always come down and you’re back at ground zero.
Hi Karen – A hook up is a lot like a one night stand. As you say, the business is not intending to see the customer again. And you’re so right, it’s a crazy way to do business.
If these marketers romanced customers, as you suggest, they’d save a lot of time and money on the continuous search for new customers. Trouble is, too many of them are like junkies, looking for a quick fix.
I like the analogy you’ve set up here Karen. Another thing to remember is that without intimacy performance suffers. There’s no customization or optimization based on individual needs. In business, that’s a sure way to ensure that a partnership is short lived.