You come to the blank page with a plan and determination to see it through. Yet, every word seems jumbled and unclear. You do more deleting than writing and then sit back in frustration. The words that you do not want, the story you do not want to tell grabs at you forcing to pay attention. You resist, angrily plunging ahead with the plan but the story refuses to let go. Fragments and snippets force itself onto the page, it beckons you in the dead of night from peaceful slumber. It is persistent, and innocuous to your rejection. It beckons you, weaving its magical spell of words around you. It stalks you with haughtiness knowing that your resistance is wearing down. You swat it away with your arsenal of weaponry – no time, no fun, I can’t write/do/be that! – until the day exhausted from the battle you can no longer turn away. You exhale deeply and give in to the cacophony of words begging to be assembled into a harmonious sound. It is time to come to the page and tell the story, the one you’re really supposed to tell.
And so it was for me. The story I did not want to tell stubbornly refused to budge, immune to my resistance. It invaded my space and spoke to me from the voice of others like a post from Joanna Young that urged me to “ Make time for the story you really need to tell and talk of ” lizard brains” and resistance from Seth Godin.
There was nothing left to do but oppose the resistance. So with a weary sigh I have given in and have started writing the words that tell that story.
You do not have to be a writer to understand resistance. Your blank page could be a job or life event. “Lizard brain” is common to us all. Resistance and it’s cousin Fear try to keep you in the brown box that fits exactly right on the conveyor belt that leads to new day, same thing.
However, when we look resistance squarely in the eye and do the opposite we find ourselves exactly where we should be, and that is pretty awesome.
How do you handle resistance?
karen says
Nicole, lol, so very true! When it looks like you’re losing the battle find your opponent’s vulnerability and aim hard, lol! Somehow I have a feeling that you will definitely emerge with the victory belt, go Nicole!
Nicole Phillips says
After pouting, crying, “why me?” I remember i’m in the midst of a fight and in order to defeat resistance, I have to kick him where it hurts. Accomplish what I was fighting for in the first place.
Heather Villa says
Resistance is such a time killer. For me it causes procrastination. Taking a break and revisiting the topic/task later help me to squash resistance – most times.
.-= Heather Villa´s last blog ..What to do When the Ship is Sinking =-.
Karen Swim says
Awww Conor, your words floated across like a soft melody that lifted my heart and gave me courage to breathe, to break free and to be all that I can. Beautiful thoughts indeed, thank you. 🙂
Conor says
Hey Karen,
Understanding resistance is definitely the first step. Shedding light on it makes it weaker I feel. It thrives in the darkness.
In the light I can usually see through the resistance to fear and through the fear to irrational anxiety with no true basis in experience.
Thom Rutledge in ‘Embracing Fear” talked about walking down the ladder with questions to the worst case scenario. It’s rarely as fearsome as it appears at first.
Sometimes it’s shadow seems to dwarf you and the cold is fierce, but light prevails in the darkest of places. In the labyrinths of the mind we need it most 🙂
Conor
Wendi Kelly~Life's Little Inspirations says
“Why does it sometimes take me so long to ask why?”
Well isn’t THAT the million dollar question!!! Why did I lose the same five pounds for 5 years before I asked WHY?
( And for that matter as I sit here on Feb first with some of them inching their way back on, why aren’t I asking WHY again?)
I think – no…actually I KNOW the answer to this one…is in the DRIFT.
Jim Rohn used to say, “Beware the Drift” IT is one of the most dangerous enemies of our success in any goal.
.-= Wendi Kelly~Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog ..The Ever Flowing Spring Water of Life =-.
Karen Swim says
Wendi, asking “why?” is so powerful. When we turn it on ourselves like a persistent toddler who keeps pushing for the next answer we scrape past the layers to the real issue. It’s the digging that hurts but when we pull out the real issue, and give it a name, we can actually solve it (or get help solving it). Now the big question for me, “Why does it sometimes take me so long to ask why?!”
Karen Swim says
Robert, that’s such a good point! External and internal resistance are very different, and require different approaches. Now that I think about it, I suppose the internal can also teach us why it’s often difficult to change the habits of others. It’s so much easier pushing past the things that don’t require us to deal with our own junk!
Karen Swim says
Brad, I like Seth’s idea of using resistance to lead you. When it strikes do the opposite of what it’s telling you to do…which I know is not always easy. 🙂
Karen Swim says
Meryl, there are days when I conquer it with brilliance and others, well not so much!
Karen Swim says
Emma, I felt your comment in every fiber of my being. You truly are a brilliant writer and I declare you the victor of the match! Brava my friend, brava!
Wendi Kelly~Life's Little Inspirations says
I handle resistance by asking why? Usually my journal is the place for questions like this, but I also have a few trusted friends to help me sort out the big ones.
Why am I fighting myself? What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that will happen to me if I embrace this “thing” and press ahead and explore new possibilities?
One of the biggest times I ever had to face this was when I wanted to lose weight. I WANTED to lose 50 pounds. Didn’t I? Then why didn’t I do what I needed to do to get the job done? Instead I lost and gained the same five pounds over and over again for 5 years, It wasn’t until I asked myself- and answered- the What am I afraid of- question. that I finally broke through the head game and the weight dropped off.
.-= Wendi Kelly~Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog ..The Ever Flowing Spring Water of Life =-.
Robert Hruzek says
Usually when I encounter resistance from without, I tend to push and shove and work at it until I can find a way to break through. But when I encounter resistance from within, it’s a completely different story! I have no idea why, though.
Oh, to be able to smack resistance in the face and keep on’ keepin’ on!
.-= Robert Hruzek´s last blog ..What I Learned From… Children =-.
Brad Shorr says
Hi Karen, I’m with Meryl. So far, the best means of overcoming resistance I’ve found is walking away, clearing my head, waiting patiently for resistance to finish walking all over me. Then, sometimes, everything falls into place. Not a great technique when you’re writing on a deadline, though.
.-= Brad Shorr´s last blog ..Does Your Ad Have a Big But? =-.
Meryl K Evans says
Still trying to figure it out!
.-= Meryl K Evans´s last blog ..How Writers Handle Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media =-.
Emma Newman says
After we’ve spent some time squaring each other up from opposing sides of the ring, there is evitably a fight between Resistance and I. Thankfully, my coach (who exactly he is I have no idea) keeps yelling at me to get in there and fight and so we wrestle…
Sometimes it’s long and hard. Sometimes I need cheers of encouragement from the crowd, sometimes I need a cuddle in the break between rounds, sometimes I am feeling on top of my game and wrestle Resistance down onto the mat in seconds.
The outcome is nearly always the same. Before I step into the ring, Resistance is a huge ogre, stinking of stale sweat and roaring with the sound of a thousand crying prisoners. But when the fight is over, he’s a skinny, whimpering weakling, crawling away to his corner, weeping. When that happens I wonder why on earth I had to fight at all…
.-= Emma Newman´s last blog ..Friday Flash: The Delivery =-.