stress | Words For Hire

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When traveling by plane, flight attendants ensure that you know what to do in case of an emergency. If the oxygen mask is released from the ceiling you are instructed to put on your own mask before assisting others around you. If you can’t breathe you can’t help anyone else. We would do well in everyday life to remember this simple lesson.

As we embark upon this theme of giving we must begin with giving to self for you cannot pour from an empty glass. If your own energy, and spirits are depleted you will have nothing to give to those you love. In the hustle and bustle of this month, self-care usually falls at the bottom the list. This is especially true if your or your family have additional stresses such as job loss or illness. However, heightened stress makes self-care even more essential.

Many of us mistake self-interest for selfishness. Self-interest is necessary for your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Stress and burn out compromise your immune system and decrease your ability to function well. Skipping your yoga class or nightly reading session may feel like the right thing to do but in fact you will find that you are less productive because you have not replenished your own needs.

Listed below are 7 gifts you can give yourself this holiday season.

Time. Family, friends and celebrations are wonderful but we all need time alone. Carve out time daily to relax, restore and replenish. Meditate, knit, take a bubble bath, write poetry, draw, read or take a walk.

The Gift of No. Free yourself from obligations that weigh you down and steal your energy and joy. Give of yourself only to places and people that align with your purpose, things that energize and refresh you.

The Gift of Now. Whatever happened last year, or last month, let it go. The holiday season can be rife with tension and old wounds as we spend time with surly siblings, overbearing in-laws or others with whom we share DNA but nothing else. Resolve to let go of past hurts and live in the moment. Your in-laws are your spouse’s parents and in this moment he or she has the joy of sharing another holiday season with them. Being present and open to the now frees you to fully experience the joy.

Exercise. Movement improves your mental and physical conditioning but at this time of year it may be the first thing you ditch from your to-do list. Exercise will keep your energized and mentally fresh equipping you to manage the demands of the season. Exercise does not have to be a 90 minute sweat session at the gym. Do something that’s fun for you. Go ice skating, sledding, surfing, or just crank up your Ipod and dance yourself silly.

A healthy diet. Nourish your body with foods that satisfy and enhance your health. Over indulging in baked goods and alcohol may satisfy in the moment but often leave you feeling sluggish and heavy. Have the treats in moderation but be good to your body by fueling it with life giving foods.

The Gift of Imperfection. Martha Stewart Syndrome is an epidemic at this time of year. Avoid this dreadful disease of perfectionism by allowing yourself to be imperfect. Lighten up and allow yourself space and time to actually enjoy the season. Your house does not have to resemble a Norman Rockwell portrait and cookies from the bakery will taste just fine.

The Gift of Giving. Yes it’s true, giving back is actually a gift to you. Giving back improves your happiness level. Volunteer to shelve books at the local library, teach literacy, or build homes for the needy. You may choose to volunteer with an organization where you can meet business contacts, or perhaps you are single and want to make a love connection. Having an agenda does not negate the good effects of giving.

Giving to self will not only help you survive the holiday season but thrive in it. In my book that truly is cause for celebration.

How do you balance the demands of this busy season? Please feel free to share your tips, traditions or comments. All discussion is warmly welcomed.

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Written by Karen D. Swim

Stress. Sometimes the mere mention of the word can shoot your blood pressure and heart rate up a few points. However, stress can be good, bad or neutral. The American Institute of Stress has this to say about stress:

“Increased stress increases productivity – up to a point, after which things rapidly deteriorate, and that level also differs for each of us. It’s much like the stress or tension on a violin string. Not enough produces a dull raspy sound and too much an irritating screech or snaps the string – but just the correct degree of stress creates a beautiful tone.

Similarly, we all have to find the right amount of stress that permits us to make pleasant music in our daily lives. You can learn how to utilize and transform stress so that it will make you more productive and less self-destructive.” -Paul J. Rosch, M.D., F.A.C.P., President, The American Institute of Stress

Now, if you’re like me most often you associate stress with the “irritating screech” and not a beautiful tone. I liked the idea of a beautiful tone and it got me thinking about good and bad stress in my own life.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, stress became part of the package. Like most, I handled most days just fine but there were moments – making coffee but forgetting to put the coffee pot on the burner, bursting into tears at the pharmacy babbling about Chinese food and sleep and scooping fish into a bucket after an aquarium leak – that definitely fall into the irritating SCREECH category. In the heat of the moment my body felt like a string ready to snap. However, once the string snapped, the tension dissolved.

In fact, as my husband looked on in befuddlement after the coffee incident, I laughed. He really thought I was perfect. Poor thing it was quite a revelation to discover he was wrong! The falling apart at the pharmacy though it stunned those who looked on helped me to breathe again. From that point on, I scheduled six minute mini-breakdowns to, you know keep the strings loose.

Bad stress has taught me that we cannot entirely avoid stress in life but we can manage it. By acknowledging the circumstances that are causing stress and allowing ourselves to break down, ask for help, accept the prayers that are offered, we can tone the screeching down to a hum.

Have you ever anxiously anticipated a happy event like walking down the aisle, a child graduating from college, or maybe a visit from an old friend? Do you remember the tingly, ball of energy that encompassed your body? You may have been on edge, but in a good way. Guess what? Yep, you got it that was good stress! Good stress often fires me up and helps me to get projects done or fuels new ideas for business. My body and mind exert just the right amount of force to create beautiful music.

In the world today, there are plenty of external forces that could push us into the red alarm zone of stress. We have little control over many of those forces but we can reduce the tension on our strings. For starters, we can can tune out the incessant negativity. We can also balance the harmony with good vibes from other sources. Take a walk, call a friend, turn off the news, play with the cat or dog, anything to add sweet sounds to the orchestra of your life. I rather like the idea of beautiful music and plan to focus on adjusting my own tension levels so that my stress is productive rather than destructive.

This post is an entry for the Middle Zone Musings Group Writing Project, What I Learned From Stress. So, what about you, what have you learned from stress? Feel free to contribute an entry to the group writing project (you have until midnight October 12th) or offer your thoughts in the comment box below. Hey, and if you have any happy thoughts to you know balance the stress, feel free to share. 🙂

Resources:

American Institute of Stress

History of Stress

7 Gifts You Can Give Yourself this Holiday Season

Stress – Screeching Strings or Beautiful Music?