Words For Hire

Business, PR, Marketing, Social Media 586.461.2103

Blogging, Life and Gasping for Air

by

Oxygen mask

To start writing again, you just have to write. Pretty simple advice but it’s true. Today feels like as good time as any to just write. As I sat down to write the typical blog post, you know the one with nuggets of wisdom, and how-to do that thing you don’t know how to do, this post was standing in the way. Yes, that post – the one you’re never supposed to write on a business blog because of branding, image and all that jazz. Luckily for me I’m not chased down my paparazzi or swarmed by swooning fans that care about me maintaining an “image.”

This year was supposed to be an epic new chapter in my life. I turned 50 in January and was looking forward to a year of celebration and joy. Days before my 50th birthday, I learned that my youngest brother (who shares my birthday month) was ill. Life quickly spun into research, treatments, hospitalizations, sleepless nights and many, many family phone calls. This is in the midst of running a business. By February, I was exhausted but accepting of the new normal. In March my brother died. Even as I write this my stomach drops.

My brother’s service was on a Friday and I went back to work on Monday. Big. Fat. Mistake. I was so afraid that if I took time off things would fall apart. So I continued to work with a heart so heavy it felt like a second person. One sleepless night after another, I got up in the morning and convinced myself that I could soldier through until things really did start to fall apart.

I was off my game but too sad and exhausted to do anything about it. I fell behind schedule and worked hard to catch up but I let other things slip like business development. With two clients winding down I learned a third was cutting their budget. Ugh. All normal stuff in normal times but disaster when you are the working wounded. The last bit of bad news shocked me back to life. Not what I would have chosen, but hey it worked.

On the other side of depression, I now see how unwise it is to care for others without caring for you first. We’ve heard it so often – put on your own oxygen mask first. I’ve said it countless times to harried entrepreneurs and over extended friends and yet I allowed myself to get into a position where I was gasping for air. So, I’m writing this post as a declaration of my own healing and a precautionary warning for all of you.

I worked out of fear and but the thing I feared happened anyway. It would have been far better if I had allowed time to tend to my needs before trying to meet the needs of others, even if is my business. I won’t allow myself to fall for this lie again. I am a person of faith but in this I acted like a spindly coward who could not let go and trust that it would all work out.

In the end, it is all working out and better than I could have predicted. So today I take another step (a long meandering one, but thanks for indulging me) into my new future. I can’t promise daily posts but I am happy to be able to just write, regardless of the frequency.

Have you ever forgotten to put on your own mask? I’d love to hear your comments, because we’re all in this together!

Stronger, Better, Faster: How to Use Competition to Your Advantage

by

grandma's bicycle

Image by phogel via Flickr

I was on the final leg of my third workout of the morning. It was a perfect summer morning and as I pulled up to a red light on my bike I exhaled into a smile. Another rider pulled up beside me. He was over 6 feet tall, muscular and clearly a far more experienced rider than me. We chatted about the day and the beautiful weather until the light changed. As we said our ‘’good days’ in one fluid motion he was nearly a block ahead of me. Without even thinking, I gave chase. I ignored my already weary legs, dug down and began pedaling faster than I ever had (I only took up riding again two months ago). The world around me became a blur as I focused on one thing – catching my opponent.

I did catch up two lights later. This time I came to my senses and my destination and did not give chase when the light changed. I admit, I have a bit of a competitive streak (it’s why I hate the gym, I always want to be the last one standing on the treadmill) but it’s mostly harmless. As I replayed the ride, I realized that trying to keep pace with a more experienced, faster rider had allowed me to push through to a new level. In my quest to keep up with a stronger opponent I had forgotten “my place” and simply rode like the wind.

In the days following my wild ride, I rode faster and harder, because I knew I could. My confidence soared right along with the numbers on my heart rate monitor. I had a new base thanks to my competitor.

People that are better than you are, whether it’s in sports or business, are an essential part of your own growth. If we surround ourselves with people on or below our level we may never know our own capabilities. Challenge yourself to explore your own limits by competing with someone you know is faster, stronger and smarter than you. You may not beat them but you are guaranteed to up your own game.

In business and life, there is never a lack of opponents. While I am not suggesting that we constantly pursue world domination, it is healthy to challenge yourself to compete at a higher level. It is easy to become complacent with our success, especially if we are the top dog in the puppy store. But, it is so satisfying when we push a little harder and discover that we are capable of even more.

Who is stronger, better, faster than you in your industry or job? How can you compete with them in a way that makes you better?

 

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Extinguishing the Flames of Lack with Water

by

Clean drinking water...not self-evident for ev...
Image via Wikipedia

Having grown up and lived on the West Coast for most of my life, I was never far from the Pacific Ocean.  Stress, overwhelm, fear, and heartache were always soothed by time spent with the ocean air blowing across my face and the calming sound of the lapping waves. Unlike so many others across the globe water was available to nourish my body and my mind.  Without clean water, there is risk of disease and even death. Nearly 1 billion people lack access to clean water. I was shocked to learn:

  • African women walk over 40 billion hours each year carrying cisterns weighing up to 18 kilograms to gather water, which is usually still not safe to drink.
  • Every week, nearly 38,000 children under the age of 5 die from unsafe drinking water and unhygienic living conditions.
  • Many scholars attribute the conflict in Darfur at least in part to lack of access to water. A report commissioned by the UN found that in the 21st century, water scarcity will become one of the leading causes of conflict in Africa.

“Filthy water cannot be washed.”–African Proverb

While clean water is a scarcity for some, over-industrialized countries suffer from over consumption:

  • Did you know that it takes 24 liters of water to produce one single hamburger?
  • It takes half a liter of water to charge an iPhone which means 40 million liters of water to charge the iPhones of the more than 80 million active iPhone users.
  • It has been said that women have to try on 20 pairs of jeans before finding the right fit. Those jeans however are more than a serious investment of your time, each pair takes 6,813 liters of water to produce.

This week we had the wonderful opportunity to witness the rescue of the trapped Chilean miners. The rescue effort has been a model of crisis management. The government took swift action and called on international expertise. People came together without a political or personal agenda but united with one single purpose – to free the trapped miners. Today we have the opportunity to play a part in our own miracle. Today we can speak with a single voice and help bring clean water to those in need.

What you can do:

The official charity of Age of Conversation 3 is charity:water, a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund water projects.. Charity Water is also one of the participating partners for Blog Action Day. Today, we’d like to make a major splash on the Amazon charts and raise money for charity:water.

  1. Buy the Book and send others to buy the book. If you work in an agency, get your agency to purchase multiple copies and give them out as year end gifts. This is the #1 call to action, because this is where we want to see the most impact. NOTE: Please buy 1 copy at a time because Amazon counts bulk orders once, and please use these affiliate links, which will help us in tracking sales. Remember, all the proceeds from the book sales and referrals will go to charity water:

Together, we CAN make a difference.

This post is a contribution to Blog Action Day 2010. Were you aware of the lack of clean water for so many people? What does water mean to you?

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

The Dynamic Flow of Life

by

MIAMI BEACH, FL - JUNE 11: (L-R) Hector Garci...
Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Dynamic flow with breath is a mantra in the practice of certain types of yoga. I often hear it as I quiet my mind and focus on breath and movement during practice. It came to me today while reading and the words” let it go” seemed to leap from the page. Let it go – words that I had said often lately to myself and others.  Words that encouraged letting go of the old self, of old wounds and even old victories that kept me stuck in the past unable to fully embrace and enjoy the here and now.  I am not new to yoga but somehow today it was as if scattered pieces of a puzzle magically assembled into a picture that I fully saw and the magnitude of the whole made me gasp with the weighty revelation.

Breath is crucial to yoga practice, you inhale to create space and you exhale to let go, and go deeper. Breath and movement, a dynamic stillness that is active yet calm.  It is no wonder that the yin yang of this practice allows us to experience our whole selves in such remarkable ways.

When the pose is challenging the inhale brings energy preparing you to flow with the exhale. The human tendency is to clinch and tighten in difficult moments but yoga teaches you to breathe into the tightness, to direct your breath where it is needed, release and gently push a little deeper. As you exhale the fear, doubt and self defeating poisons to your soul, you flow a little deeper, and stretch a little farther. If you attempted to hold your breath or inhale to go deeper you would hinder your movement.

Life challenges can cause us to inhale at the wrong moments. We receive a frightening diagnosis, lose a job, hit a speed bump in our business and we hold our breath. Giving into the process seems counterintuitive. The last thing we want in times of challenge or crisis is to go toward what causes us pain. We groan at the discomfort unwilling to believe that we can embrace the discomfort and push past it to release.

Yet, without the free flow of oxygen we hinder exactly what we are trying to gain – forward movement. Our vision becomes truncated and we tighten the field and constrict our muscles rather than breathing and going just a bit farther. We hold in self-limiting thoughts, we rationalize away the possibility of more movement and we hurt even more because as we hold it all in we groan and create more resistance.

When we inhale to gain strength and exhale into the flow of life we become elongated and more flexible. We become better and stronger because we have learned to breathe in and out, to adjust to the pacing, relax our jaw at the right moment and to give ourselves over to dynamic flow. We learn the art of steely stillness, an intensely focused quiet that is both still and active.

I have been told that yoga is referred to as “yoga practice” because you are always progressing and getting better, never arriving at one final victory. Isn’t this true of life as well? The trick is remembering to breathe and go with rather than against the flow. And thankfully, we have many opportunities to progress with practice.

How’s your breath today? Do you hold your breath or let go when faced with challenge?

Enhanced by Zemanta

What Are You Made Of?

by

Arashiyama: Sagano Bamboo Grove
Image by jpellgen via Flickr

Sometimes words of wisdom only become wise when you’ve lived enough life to understand them. Words spoken during the arrogance of youth resurface decades later like pearls pulled from the depth of the sea. It is amazing how some part of you reaches out and tucks them away knowing that while you’re too clueless to realize it in the moment someday you will need those words to help you grow.

I recently had one of those treasures unearthed. Words spoken decades ago in one of those ordinary moments, suddenly released by a modern day random thought. I could hear the words of my old pastor, in his down south accent that brought to mind porch swings and sweet tea saying, “Go through some things first.” It was advice given to those young and in love and eager to marry. At the time I was nowhere near marriage but the words stuck.

He advised us starry eyed young people to date long enough to allow life to throw you a few challenges before taking the next step. It made sense at the time but has become more profound as the years have passed. In essence you never know how strong something is until you apply pressure.

Financial pressures, illness, children and more test the strongest of relationships. If you have never had so much as a spat you will never know the strength of your partner, yourself or your relationship.

The principle is true in every aspect of your life. You find out what you’re really made of when pressure is applied. When pressure is applied will you crack into pieces or will you be strong enough to bend without breaking? Job loss, business failure, betrayal of a friend, injury, illness – does it take you down for the count or do you feel the heat but continue to look for solutions? How about your attitude? Do you become ill tempered and surly or gracious and respectful?

We spend a great deal of time polishing the outer layers and chasing external goals. Yet, what really matters is what lies beneath the layers, the foundation that will sustain us in good and bad times.

The funny thing about pressure is that it does not have to be a win or lose situation. Pressure can reveal those areas that need to be stretched, strengthened or reshaped altogether. We are born with flexibility but it takes work to sustain it. We must continue to stretch daily, breathing and reaching a little farther to be strong yet bendable.

So, what are you made of? When pressure is applied will you shatter into pieces or do you have the strength to bend without breaking?

Whatever your answer, it’s never too late to work on your strength and flexibility. Train those areas that are weak and meet the next challenge with confidence.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Hard but Not Forever

by

“Oh there been times that I couldn’t last for long

But now I think I’m able to carry on

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”

 –Lyrics from A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

I no longer care about rules. Challenge has a way of breaking you free from the self-imposed prison of expectations and lately I have had my share of challenges. In recent weeks, I have been brought to my knees in ways I never thought possible. It seemed to start with a small rumble, no real damage done just a little shaking but progressed to the walls crumbling in on me. And it is there that I have knelt in the rubble fighting to hold on with every fiber of my being. I am not writing this post from a place of self-pity and my purpose is not to whine about life. Yes, I know it’s a business blog and I should be sharing useful information or cheering you on with inspiration but all of that is meaningless if I am not honest enough to say “Sometimes life is hard.”

I understand intimately how chirpy platitudes can cause your teeth to grate when you are in the midst of a struggle. You want and need something more than an ancient quote or a pep talk. I get it. The other day I read one of those syrupy goodness updates and had the urge to throw my keyboard through a window.

Yet, I am also aware that the right word at the right time can lift a downtrodden head and give you the courage to hold on for a just a while longer. I have not lost my faith or optimism, in fact without them I would have been done in long ago. I just want you to know that we all struggle but it is not forever. I have had days where I fell to my knees with big fat crocodile tears rolling from my eyes but the tears soon dry and I get up and get back in the fight, and you can too.

This post is not for everyone and some of you will think I’ve lost my head. Today this may be for one person who is struggling and wondering if it will ever end. Yes, it will. I am not through with the present battle but I have lived long enough to know that this too shall pass. Sometimes it matters more how you go through the challenge than what is on the other side. Most importantly, know that you are not alone. We have all been there or will be there.